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[quote]Seeing the Words of God Around Her: A Lithuanian's Journey to Islam By Gerda I am from a little Eastern European country called Lithuania, where Christianity is the dominant religion, and where a baby in his first days in the world is made a Christian. I‘ve never been an atheist, but I never called myself a good Christian. It was the time when I was going to the church every Sunday, not just for praying, but to help the priest and to sing in the church’s choir that I had God in my heart the most, even though I would ask my parents why they baptized me without asking me if I would like to be a Christian or not. All my life, as I remember, I couldn’t be a good Christian and I couldn’t understand the meaning of the Christian religion. But I was looking for meaning. I would read a lot of books about Christianity, while continuously asking the priest for help. I could say that I felt and I believed that “Somebody’s” watching over me, but I could not call myself Christian. Life without God Almighty’s guidance is difficult, scary, and lonely wherever I went. I was looking for God all the time, and yet I felt that He was so close to me. I was feeling God’s help all the time with me; I felt like He was talking to me. I saw how He was taking care of me and letting me find the way of life that He had already chosen for me. I was trying to understand a lot of signs that he was sending me daily almost like He was speaking to me. I am the second child in my family, and my mother’s delivery pains with me were much harder than with her first baby. I was very lucky to survive the delivery, and I believe God saved my life. After two really serious accidents later in my life, which people said that nobody could possibly survive after, I started to really appreciate my life. I felt how fragile human life is and that only God knows how long I will live. God let me trust Him every minute of my life and this helped me to enjoy my life even when I was sick or feeling bad. I know that God is giving us everything, wanting us to appreciate Him, so we will understand that He is doing it just for us. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- All that has changed is the quality of my life when true understanding of God came into my heart… -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I had a car accident right after my graduation exams, and I was told to stay in a bed for no less than six weeks. I could only move my head and arms, but with God’s help I nonetheless finished my school and enrolled in university while still lying in bed. Even my doctor couldn’t believe that I accomplished that much! Most people would be screaming with pain or asking for a pill to make them sleep. It couldn’t just be luck - it was a miracle from God for sure. After this, my faith increased but “Somebody” still kept me away from church. I can now understand what was going on - for me, church wasn’t the way to God. True understanding of God, what I had been wanting for so long and which would be my only way to real happiness through the calmness of my soul, I found through my husband. How we met each other was one of God’s miracles too. In the beginning of our relationship we never talked about religion, and we never had disagreements about it. One day, when I was in a really happy mood because I had just met an old friend, my boyfriend (in that time we still weren’t married) told me that he wanted to give me the best thing in his life - faith. God put the correct words on his lips that day, and I was really interested to hear what he had to say about the Holy Qur’an, about miracles written in it, and about the meanings of every motion of his body while he prayed. Though it was just one conversation about the topic, it was enough to make me read as many books as I could get my hands on. With every book, with every page, I started to understand what I missing in my life, that is, what I had been looking for all those years when I was asking priests for answers. Books would talk to me - God was talking to me through books. I found answers to a lot of questions; I found calmness in my soul while those around me were still searching. I became Muslim just a few months ago, and it’s amazing to feel the miracle of a rebirth in faith. God loved me so much that He let me be born again though I was already 21 years old, an age when I was able to appreciate His amazing gift. Now I am a Muslim. Nobody can believe how different it is to be Muslim! God made me see the sun in a different way than I used to see it when I was a Christian. The sun has a different meaning for me now. I know that this sunshine that God is sending to us everyday is His way of showing us how much He cares about us, how much He loves us. Because of His love, we do not feel cold, and we can see the world in many colors. God created night in order to show us how amazing His light is. He made us trust Him that after a cold and dark night, He will bring forth a nice, fresh morning. In this way, God is talking to us. He gave us eyes to see His words in every miracle. I’m so happy and thankful for God’s gift to see this world anew - to finally appreciate my life. He gave me a new and fresh light in my life, and now I can see His words all around me in a different way. Everything I do, everywhere I go, God is saying welcome to me. In miracles that He is showing me, I see that I’m on the right way, that He is with me. The world didn’t change in one day, it didn’t even change in 21 years. All that has changed is the quality of my life when true understanding of God came into my heart. I wish the whole world would change too. Now people are angry and tired of looking for calmness through worldly success. They are tired of hating each other, and of being jealous of one another. Nations try to survive by fighting each other; countries try to live in pace but cannot stay without war. Each day, the world is sinking deeper and deeper down. The only way to stop it is to make Islam the way of life of humanity. With God in everybody’s heart, we will find and enjoy the life that we are now just dreaming about. We will build an optimistic future for our children; we will not be scared to meet each other and live as a single humanity. Go back to index page -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Priest & 100 Followers Embrace Islam In Rwanda: WAMY Muslim leaders in Kigali JEDDAH, March 21. A Rwandan priest and a hundred of his followers have embraced Islam, the World Assembly of Muslim Youth (WAMY) said. The conversions were thanks to a WAMY’s medical convoy that visited remote areas in central Rwanda, whose members’ sermons deeply touched many locals, London-based Al-Quds Press quoted WAMY assistant secretary general Abdul Wahab Nour Wali as saying Saturday, March 20. He said the convoy delivered sermons in Rwandese at the outskirts of the capital Kigali, which defined Islam and encouraged non-Muslims to accept it, adding the sermons greatly appealed to the locals. He said a priest and 100 of his followers testified that there is no God but Allah and Muhammad is the messenger of Allah after marathon arguments with the convoy’s preachers. The priest said that his Islam has been far delayed because he did not have the faintest idea about the religion. The long marginalized Muslim community in Rwanda - only 1.2% less than 10 years ago – jumped on the last statistics to represent some 16% of the Rwandan population with a gradually increasing growth rate, according to Agence France-Presse (AFP) statistics. Established in Saudi Arabia in 1972, WAMY is an independent international organization and a member of the United Nations NGOs. WAMY's headquarters are based in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. It also has presence in 55 countries and an associate membership of over 500 youth organizations around the world. Go back to index page -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1,377 People Embrace Islam Riyadh: 1,377 people of different nationalities embraced Islam in Saudi Arabia during 1998. The converts include 1,091 Christians, 233 Hindus and 53 Bhuddists. They are drawn from various countries of the world such as Australia, Europe, Africa, America and Asian countries. Those figures have been taken from statistical data published by the Saudi Ministry of Justice. Go back to index page -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Malcolm X’s (al-Hajj, Malik al-Shabazz) Letter from Makkah The following is Malcolm X’s (al-Hajj, Malik al-Shabazz) letter to his assistants in Harlem during his pilgrimage to Makkah in April of 1964: Never have I witnessed such sincere hospitality and overwhelming spirit of true brotherhood as is practiced by people of all colors and races here in this ancient holy land, the home of Abraham, Muhammad and all the other Prophets of the holy scriptures. For the past week, I have been utterly speechless and spellbound by the graciousness I see displayed all around me by people of all colors. I have been blessed to visit the holy city of Makkah; I have made my seven circuits around the Ka'aba, led by a young Mutawwaf (guide) named Muhammad; I drank water from the well of the Zamzam. I ran seven times back and forth between the hills of mount al-Safa and al-Marwa. I have prayed in the ancient city of Mina, and I have prayed on mount Arafat. There were tens of thousands of pilgrims, from all over the world. They were of all colors, from blue-eyed blondes to black-skinned Africans. But we were all participating in the same ritual, displaying a spirit of unity and brotherhood that my experiences in America had led me to believe never could exist between the white and non-white. America needs to understand Islam, because this is the one religion that erases from its society the race problem. Throughout my travels in the Muslim world, I have met, talked to, and even eaten with people who in America would have been considered white - but the white attitude was removed from their minds by the religion of Islam. I have never before seen sincere and true brotherhood practiced by all colors together, irrespective of their color. You may be shocked by these words coming from me. But on this pilgrimage, what I have seen, and experienced, has forced me to rearrange much of my thought-patterns previously held, and to toss aside some of my previous conclusions. This was not too difficult for me. Despite my firm convictions, I have always been a man who tries to face facts, and to accept the reality of life as new experience and new knowledge unfolds it. I have always kept an open mind, which is necessary to the flexibility that must go hand in hand with every form of intelligent search for truth. During the past eleven days here in the Muslim world, I have eaten from the same plate, drunk from the same glass, and slept on the same rug - while praying to the same God - with fellow Muslims, whose eyes were the bluest of blue, whose hair was the blondest of blond, and whose skin was the whitest of white. And in the words and in the deeds of the white Muslims, I felt the same sincerity that I felt among the black African Muslims of Nigeria, Sudan and Ghana. We were truly all the same (brothers) - because their belief in one God had removed the white from their minds, the white from their behavior, and the white from their attitude. I could see from this, that perhaps if white Americans could accept the Oneness of God, then perhaps, too, they could accept in reality the Oneness of Man - and cease to measure, and hinder, and harm others in terms of their “differences” in color. With racism plaguing America like an incurable cancer, the so-called “Christian” white American heart should be more receptive to a proven solution to such a destructive problem. Perhaps it could be in time to save America from imminent disaster - the same destruction brought upon Germany by racism that eventually destroyed the Germans themselves. Each hour here in the holy land enables me to have greater spiritual insights into what is happening in America between black and white. The American Negro never can be blamed for his racial animosities - he is only reacting to four hundred years of the conscious racism of the American whites. But as racism leads America up the suicide path, I do believe, from the experiences that I have had with them, that the whites of the younger generation, in the colleges and universities, will see the handwriting on the walls and many of them will turn to the spiritual path of truth - the only way left to America to ward off the disaster that racism inevitably must lead to. Never have I been so highly honored. Never have I been made to feel more humble and unworthy. Who would believe the blessings that have been heaped upon an American Negro? A few nights ago, a man who would be called in America a white man, a United Nations diplomat, an ambassador, a companion of kings, gave me his hotel suite, his bed. Never would I have even thought of dreaming that I would ever be a recipient of such honors - honors that in America would be bestowed upon a King - not a Negro. All praise is due to Allah, the Lord of all the worlds. Sincerely, al-Hajj, Malik al-Shabazz (Malcolm X) * Taken from The Autobiography of Malcolm X, co-authored by Alex Haley. Editor’s Note: The compassion, selflessness, brotherhood, and generosity that Malcolm encountered in Makkah during his Hajj opened his heart to the true spirit of Sunni Islam. He writes in his autobiography, “Because of the spiritual enlightenment which I was blessed to receive as the result of my recent pilgrimage to the holy city of Makkah, I no longer subscribe to sweeping indictments of any one race. I am now striving to live the life of a true Sunni Muslim. I must repeat that I am not a racist nor do I subscribe to the tenets of racism. I can state in all sincerity that I wish nothing but freedom, justice and equality, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all people.” Go back to index page -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An American Police Officer Discovers Islam By Linda Delgado My Search 13/03/2004 About five years ago, I was fifty-two years old and a Christian. I had not become a member of any Christian church, but all my life I had been searching for the truth. I attended many churches and studied with their teachers. All fell short and I recognized none as being the truth about Allah. Since I was nine years old, I had read the Bible everyday of my life. I cannot tell you, over the many years, how many times I searched it for the truth. During the long years of my search for the truth, I studied with many religious faiths. For over a year I studied two times a week with a Catholic priest, but could not accept Catholic beliefs. I spent another year studying with the Jehovah Witnesses and did not accept their beliefs either. I spent nearly two years with the LDS (Latter-Day Saints, i.e. the Mormons) and still did not find truth. I had a Jewish friend and we had many discussions about the Jewish beliefs. I went to many Protestant churches, some for months at a time, trying to find answers to my questions. My heart told me Jesus was not God but a Prophet. My heart told me Adam and Eve were responsible for their sin, not me. My heart told me I should pray to God and no other. My reason told me that I was responsible for both my good and bad deeds and that God would never assume the form of a man in order to tell me that I was not responsible. He had no need to live and die as a human; after all, He is God. So there I was, full of questions and praying to God for help. I had a real fear of dying and not knowing the truth. I prayed and I prayed. I received answers from preachers and priests like, “This is a mystery.” I felt that God wanted people to go to heaven so He wouldn't make it a mystery as to how to get there, how to live life accordingly, and how to understand Him. I knew in my heart that all that I was hearing was untrue. I live in Arizona, USA and at the age of fifty-two had still never talked to a Muslim. I, like many Westerners, had read much in the media about Islam being a fanatical religion of terrorists, so I never researched any books or information about Islam. I knew nothing about the religion. My Discovery About four years ago, I retired after twenty-four years as a police officer. My husband also retired as a police officer. The year before my retirement I was still a police sergeant/supervisor. Police officers worldwide have a common bond, which we call a law-enforcement brother-sisterhood. We always help one anther no matter what police department or country. That year I received a flyer asking for help with a group of Saudi Arabian police officers who had come to the United States to learn English at a local University and attend a police academy in the city that I live in. The Saudi police officers were looking for homes to live in with host families in order to learn about US customs and to practice the English that they would be learning. My son is raising my granddaughter as a single parent. We helped him to find a house next to ours so that we could help in raising her. I talked to my husband and we decided that it would be good to help these police officers. It would be an opportunity for our granddaughter to learn about people from another country. I was told that the young men were Muslims and I was very curious. An Arizona State University Saudi interpreter brought a young man named Abdul to meet us. He could speak no English. We showed him a bedroom and bathroom, which would be his when he stayed with us. I liked Abdul immediately. His respectful and kind manner won my heart! -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I grew to love these young men, and they told me that I was the first non-Muslim they had ever taught Islam to… -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Next Fahd was brought to our home. He was younger and shyer, but a wonderful young man. I became their tutor and we shared many discussions about police work, the USA, Saudi Arabia, Islam, etc. I observed how they helped each other and also the other sixteen Saudi police officers who came to the USA to learn English. During the year they were here, I came to respect and admire Fahd and Abdul for not letting the American culture have any impact on them. They went to mosque on Fridays, said their prayers no matter how tired they were, and were always careful of what they ate, etc. They showed me how to cook some traditional Saudi foods and they took me to Arab markets and restaurants. They were very kind with my granddaughter. They showered her with presents, jokes and friendship. They treated my husband and me with much respect. Each day, they would call to see if I needed them to go to market for me before they went to study with their fellow Saudi officers. I showed them how to use the computer, and I ordered Arab papers online and began to search the Internet to learn more about them, their customs and religion. I did not want to do things that would offend them. One day, I asked them if they had an extra Qur'an. I wanted to read what it had to say. They sent to their embassy in Washington DC and they got me an English Qur'an, tapes, and other pamphlets. At my request, we began to discuss Islam (they had to speak English and this became the focus of our tutoring sessions). I grew to love these young men, and they told me that I was the first non-Muslim they had ever taught Islam to! After a year, they completed their studies and training at the police academy. I was able to help them with their police studies, as I had been a police instructor during my career as a police officer. I invited many of their brother-officers to the house to help with university projects and to practice English. One brother had his wife come to stay here in the US, and I was invited to their home. They were very gracious and I was able to talk to his wife about Muslim dress, prayer ablutions, and similar things. A week before "my foster sons" were to return home to Saudi Arabia, I planned a family dinner with all their favorite traditional foods (I bought some because I didn’t know how to cook all of them). I purchased a hijab and an abaya (long Islamic gown). I wanted them to go home remembering me dressed appropriately as a Muslim sister. Before we ate, I said the Shahadah (public declaration of faith). The boys cried and laughed and it was so special. I believe in my heart that Allah sent the boys to me in answer to my years of prayers. I believe He chose me to see the truth by the light of Islam. I believe Allah sent Islam to my very home. I praise Him for His mercy, love and kindness to me. My Journey in Islam My Saudi boys returned to their homeland about a week after my reversion. I missed them greatly, but was still happy. I had joined the local mosque as a member almost immediately after my reversion and registered myself as a Muslim. I was anticipating a warm welcome from my new Muslim community. I thought all Muslims were like my Saudi boys and the other young Saudi officers whom I had met and spent time with during the previous year. My family was still in a state of shock! They thought I would stick with this new religion for a while, become disgruntled, and move on to another religion as I had done all my adult life. They were surprised at the changes that I began to make in my daily life. My husband is a congenial man, so when I said that we were going to be eating halal foods and eliminating haram (forbidden) foods, he said, “Okay.” My next change was removing pictures of people and animals from the rooms in the house. One day my husband came home from work to find me placing family pictures that had once hung on the walls in our home, in large, handsomely-bound photo albums. He watched and didn’t comment. Next I wrote a letter to my non-Muslim family telling them about my reversion and how it would and wouldn’t change our family relationships. I explained a few of the basics of Islam. Still my family kept their own counsel, and I continued to work on learning prayer and reading my Qur’an. I got active in sister groups on the Internet and this facilitated my learning about my new beliefs. I also attended a “Fundamentals of Islam” class at the mosque when I could get away from my work. I was still a state police sergeant and it was difficult – no, impossible to cover. This became a source of real discontent and concern for me. Just eight months and I could retire, so I asked for and was granted the right to telecommute from my home three days a week doing planning and research projects. After the first six months had passed, sisters at the mosque that I attended still hadn’t warmed up to me. I was disappointed. I began to feel like an outsider. I was puzzled and concerned. I tried to become active in community services with a few sisters who had been friendly towards me. I looked for the kindness, friendship, and best of manners that were practiced each and every day by my Saudi boys. I made many mistakes at the mosque, such as talking in the prayer room as I tried to get up and down from the floor. I went to a community celebration and ate with my left hand; I wore clear nail polish on my trimmed nails and got scolded. I did wudu (ablutions) incorrectly and was frowned at. I became very discouraged. Then one day I received a package in the mail from a sister-friend who I had met on the Internet. In the package were several abayas, hijabs, silk stockings, and a warm and friendly note welcoming me as her sister in Islam. She lives in Kuwait. Next a dear sister sent me a prayer robe and prayer rug she had hand-made herself. This dear sister lives in Saudi Arabia. I got an email that had a statement that I always remember at times when I get that “outsider” feeling. The note said: “I am glad that I became Muslim before I met many Muslims.” This is not an insult. It was a reminder that Islam is perfect and it is we Muslims who are imperfect. Just as I have shortcomings, so may my sisters and brothers. I also began to understand what I personally believe to be one of the greatest gifts that Allah gave to the Muslims: the sister and brotherhood in Islam. Over the past four years my life has changed dramatically. My family has come to accept with generosity and tolerance that I am Muslim and will remain Muslim. All thanks be to Allah for sparing me the trials of so many reverts who must deal with beloved family who strive to dissuade them from Islam. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My journey in Islam will continue, and I look forward to many new experiences. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gradually, I made some sister friends locally and by cyber space, dozens of sister friends became my Muslim family bringing me support, love and friendship. It was close to my first year as a Muslim that I became ill with a series of life-threatening diseases. I clung tight to the rope of Islam and was grateful for the black seed tea and ZamZam water that my sister-friends sent me from around the world along with their daily du`aa’ (supplications). As my health continued to fail and I grew weaker physically, I had to discontinue community service work and became more isolated from the local Muslim community. I continued to work hard on my prayer, having great difficulty with the Arabic pronunciation but not giving up. My Islamic teacher made some cassette tapes, and a sister brought them to my home to help me. After two years, I had learned to recite four Surahs (chapters) of the Qur’an. This may seem like a small number to most Muslims, but for me it was a very big accomplishment. I set about learning the words for the other parts of prayer; another two years of struggle. During the early part of my third year as a Muslim, I suffered a heart attack and had heart surgery. It was a sad time for me, as I knew that I would never again touch my head to the floor when praying, but would forever have to sit in my chair and pray. It was at this time that I truly understood the provision from Allah that Islam is the religion of ease. Praying while seated in a chair is acceptable; not fasting when one is sick is acceptable. I did not have to feel that I was less a Muslim because of these circumstances. After visiting several mosques and observing that they were like mini United Nations, I began to see that the small groups within the mosque were mostly formed because of language and culture and not because of liking or disliking any person. I felt good that regardless of these differences, I could always count on a smile and an “As-Salaam’ Alaykum!” After a while, I began to gravitate towards sisters who are reverts to Islam like me. We have much in common – we experience many of the same trials, such as non-Muslim family members, difficulty pronouncing Arabic, being lonely on Muslim holidays, and not having a family member to break fast with during Ramadan. Sometimes our reversions meant losing life-long friends who just couldn’t accept our new habits, or it was because of our discontinuance of activities common to non-Muslims, such as dancing and mixing in groups. As I grew less able to do community services, I searched for some way to contribute to the greater Muslim community. I continually asked Allah for His help in this. One day, my young granddaughter suggested that I write books about my Saudi boys, Islam, and my family’s experience with Islam. I decided to write the books and also include stories about a group of young girls, both Muslim and non-Muslim, who were friends. The stories would include the young girls’ problems encountered at school and at home and I would use my knowledge of Islam as a guide for these book characters. I began writing a book series that I called Islamic Rose Books. I created an e-group for sister authors and aspiring writers and this developed into the creation of the Islamic Writers Alliance. The Alliance is an international organization created to provide support for female Muslim authors and aspiring writers. Our main goal is to help each other promote our works to readers and publishers. I also decided to help two Muslim food banks by creating databases that help them to track their inventory, clients, and contacts and to create reports necessary for funding purposes. I decided that I would spend a large portion of my profits from book sales to buy books for Islamic children’s libraries. I have discovered that many such libraries have lots of empty shelves where Islamic books belong. I still have much to learn about Islam. I never tire of reading the Qur’an and one of my favorite pastimes is reading about prominent, historical Islamic figures. When I am unsure about something in Islam, I look to the Sunnah of the Prophet (peace be upon him). I see how he responded to situations and use this as my guide. My journey in Islam will continue, and I look forward to many new experiences. I thank Allah daily for His Mercy and Love. Linda Delgado is a Muslim, lives in Arizona, is married, and has three children and eight grandchildren. Mrs. Delgado is a graduate of the University of Phoenix and is a retired State Police Sergeant. She is also the Director of the Islamic Writers Alliance www.islamicwritersalliance.net and author of Islamic Rose Books. www.widad-lld.com. Go back to index page -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- An Australian Catholic Woman’s Reversion By Eman I was raised as a strict Catholic in the South coast of Australia. Being of Italian origins, I had never been in contact with Islam or Muslims; I didn’t have any information about Islam. As I was growing up, I questioned my family about their Catholic identity, and the response was always: “Italians are all Catholic and we have always been.” I thought to myself, is it right that we should believe in something simply because our parents follow it? By the time I was 15 years old, I already had a strong belief in God. I would go to Sunday mass every week with my mother, but I found praying to Jesus to be very confusing. I started asking my mother questions about the difference between God and Jesus, but her answers never seemed to satisfy me. At the age of 16, I got married, had two boys, and then separated by 21. After that, by the will of Allah, I met a Muslim man. I began associating with his friends, including a sister who was wearing hijab and was also a convert. She introduced me to more Muslim sisters who gathered regularly at a Muslim youth center in Lakemba. They explained Islam to me effectively, and the missing pieces were filled in by what I read in the Holy Qur’an. I asked a sister to lend me a book explaining the Prayer, and I taught myself to pray five times daily. Months went by in this state. One day, my mother became furious when she found Islamic books in my room. She was devastated to learn that her only daughter, who was raised a strict Catholic, was interested in Islam of all religions (for some reason, whenever anyone hears that I converted to Islam, they say, “Why that religion?!”). My mother made it clear that if I changed my religion, she would have nothing to do with me - I wouldn’t be her daughter anymore. Notwithstanding this, my faith grew stronger. I sincerely wanted to live an Islamic life, but the only way to do so was to live on my own with my two children. I had to establish Islam, not just as a religion but as a complete way of life. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- “…Allah alone could bring my mother close to me again.” -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- When my knowledge of Islam grew, I understood that I had to either obey Allah, the Creator of all, or listen to my parents who didn’t want me to convert. I was in a dilemma: should I keep my parents happy, or should I choose what I believed to be the right path of life. I chose the path of God Almighty - our Sustainer and Nourisher and the only true Guide to success. In order to make my choice official, on March 29, 2000, I put on my hijab. From that day on I didn’t care about the opinions of my friends and relatives as long as I believed that I was doing the right thing. When I began wearing hijab, my life became easier with Allah’s help. One of my Muslim friends chose the name Eman for me, meaning faith. I decided to give my children Islamic names: Tareq and Bilal. As a Muslim, I have overcome my fears of others’ opinions and try to fear Allah only in my actions and decisions. I phoned my mother and told her the news about my choice to wear hijab. At first she didn’t believe me - she told me that if she saw me wearing hijab she would rip it off. A week went by and she realized that I was serious. She told me never to set foot in her house again and that she did not consider me her daughter anymore. It was the hardest thing I have ever experienced in my life. I knew that Allah alone could bring my mother close to me again. So after a few months, I was praying and I started to cry while making dua’ (supplication) to Allah to let my mother call me. The next day Allah answered my dua’ and my mother rang. Alhamdulillah (all praise be to Allah), Allah is the Controller of all affairs! Later on I started having financial problems. I made dua’ to Allah to ease my situation, and the next day I received a check in the mail. After that, there was no way I could disobey Allah by not following His commands. I strove to do what was good and avoid what was evil. Taking my son to kindergarten, I met more sisters. I got very close to two of them, and they helped me and always made me feel secure, especially when my mother rejected me. I was told about Arabic classes for my five year-old son, and he has learnt a lot since I converted. I have taught him how to recite the Qur’an. In sha’ Allah (God willing), my children will grow up learning about Islam and the best way to live their lives. It’s been almost two years since I converted, and I am now able to speak to others about Islam. One morning I went to the shop and a young girl served me at the counter. She asked me, “Did you convert?” I replied yes, and she told me that she also believes in Allah and is thinking of converting. We kept in contact; I gave her a copy of the Qur’an, books, and video tapes so she could understand and learn more about Islam. At the same time, I knew to stay close to her and give her as much advice and help as possible. My being a Catholic convert to Islam helped her to relate to the religion, though she already knew some things about it. After six months, she called me and asked if I could take her to the mosque to convert officially. I was so happy that Allah used me as a means of her guidance. Alhamdulillah she is now a Muslim! I thank Allah everyday that He awoke me into this wonderful religion. Islam is a religion of peace and goodwill to all human beings, irrespective of color or ethnicity. It is a great privilege to be part of this way of life. It is a great honor to guide a non-believer to Islam, and alhamdulillah I have been used for this great task, and it has encouraged me to do more da’wah in the path of Islam. I strongly encourage other Muslims to do the same. May Allah give us guidance to follow the path of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him). Amin! Go back to index page -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Affected by the Muslims Around Her: Aisha's Journey to Allah By Aisha Robertson It was a hot and humid night in August of 1991, and I decided to look up every reference to Christianity that I could find in the Qur'an. After two years of informally studying Islam, I knew that this had to be the “Truth” and the straight path to God. Still, something was holding me back from making a final decision to convert, and I was sure that I would find the resolution to my anxiety in the Qur'an. Alhamdulillah (all praise be to Allah), I did! I read Surat Al-Ma'idah, verses 82-85 and I became convinced that within my true essence was a natural yearning to be a Muslim. In reality, I had been a Muslim since the day I was born. I was in the middle of completing my Master’s degree in history and had already finished my B.S. in Education. I knew that my life would drastically changed forever with my new choice. Over a period of four years, I had met some very good Muslim sisters and brothers who patiently and intelligently helped me along my path to Truth. I had never completely accepted the idea of Christianity to be the only way to God. I don’t know why. Previously, I asked a priest to explain the concept of trinity, and when he couldn't, I started to have my doubts. The same priest condescendingly advised me to simply believe it as a matter of faith. In other words, Christianity does not have to make sense. I am expected to flatly accept its concepts as a matter of faith, otherwise I was not being a good Christian. The idea that religion does not have to make sense bothered me a lot. I could not understand why God would give me a brain with which to think and reflect, and then expect me not to use it when it comes to worshipping Him! I became curious about other religions, and while spending one year in Japan I delved into Buddhism. I soon rejected this religion because I was not comfortable with bowing before statues of Buddha. I decided to stick with the religion that I was raised on and with which I was most comfortable. At that point, I knew almost nothing about Islam; I thought it was something only Arabs practiced. Looking back, it is hard to believe that a student of history could subscribe to such false notions - it just proves the point that many Western history textbooks are unjustly biased against Islam. Alhamdulillah, today I have noticed a lot of positive changes in the way Islam is presented in Western textbooks. One of the most influential aspects in my conversion was the brothers and sisters whom I met who not only practiced their faith with dignity and enthusiasm but were also kind and tolerant of me as a non-Muslim. I met many such Muslims at the university I attended. There was a Malaysian sister, wearing her hijab and long dignified flowing clothes, who would walk respectfully across the room to her seat in my class. There was a brother who regularly came into the university bookstore where I worked. I noticed that he dressed very modestly and always looked so clean. After I became Muslim, I realized why - he made ritual ablutions five times a day! There was also a brother who sat next to me on a domestic flight and who showed me great respect and kindly reassured me when we encountered some heavy turbulence. He was a pilot himself, and when he noticed my anxiety as the plane took a deep plunge in the turbulence, he started to talk to me about how he was a pilot for an international carrier and that everything would be just fine. He then proceeded to explain in some detail the workings of the aircraft we were on. The logic of it all was very reassuring. Ultimately, I realized all of these people were Muslims, and they came from different parts of the world. I admired the way they carried themselves and the fact that they were proud that they were Muslim. Nevertheless, they were always considerate and kind to me as a non-Muslim. About one year before I would actually convert, I became more interested in Islam. On a bulletin board at the church that I attended, I noticed a flyer about a Christian - Muslim dialogue session. The flyer listed some basic information about Islam. Of particular interest to me was the mention that there are currently one billion Muslims in the world. It suddenly dawned on me that because there are clearly not one billion Arabs, Islam must be a religion for everyone! I thought there must be at least some truth to this religion if so many people practice it. I did not attend the Christian - Muslim dialogue, but I did go to the library and check out an English meaning of the Qur'an. I read it in three days and was enthralled. My overall impression was that Islam is a way of life and is based on a balance between justice and mercy. I decided I had to find out more about this religion. There happen to be a branch of the MSA (Muslim Student Association) where I attended university, and I got a lot of informational pamphlets from them. I also became friends with some Muslims and asked innumerable questions until it got to the point where I had to make a final decision about converting. None of my Muslim friends pushed me to convert. In fact in retrospect, I am amazed at how patient they were with my questions. After my conversion I was extremely grateful to Allah Almighty for this guidance. It is hard to explain: I felt at times like I was walking on air. I was so eager to learn the Prayer and to wear the hijab (headscarf) even though I knew people would stare or make rude comments. I definitely went through difficult trials with my family and almost all of my friends rejected me as a Muslim, but alhamdulillah, Allah gave me better friends! I think the best way to describe my gratitude to Allah for this most valuable gift of faith is to say that my worst and most difficult days as a Muslim have been so much better than the best days I ever experienced as a non-Muslim! Go back to index page -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Physically Confined but Spiritually Free: An American Prisoner's Journey to Islam By An-Najee Jones In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, Most Merciful. You hear many times about men entering prison and accepting the religion of Islam. Some say that it is a unique phenomenon particular to the black inmate population, male as well as female. The truth of the matter is that many prisoners of diverse backgrounds make the reversion to Islam. My story is only one of many. It is written not to draw attention to myself; rather, it is written as a testimony to what faith in Allah can do to a person physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I pray that my story inspires others to study the signs of the Creator so that they may recognize the Truth and live in accordance with it. I was first introduced to Islam in 1984. At that time, I was only a boy of 11 years and did not understand what exactly I was hearing. I was told that Muslims pray to only one God and do not eat pork. I was also told that Islam is a religion truly for the black race and that any other race could never really be Muslim. All of this was strange to me. I was raised in a Baptist family and was taught that the only way that I could be saved was to believe in Jesus while also recognizing that the only way that I could talk to God was by praying to Jesus. I was told that I was a sinful person by nature and that the only way that I could be purified was through the “blood of Christ.” These contradictory philosophies only served to confuse my young mind even more. So in response to this mental onslaught, I chose to ignore both. During my teenage years I attended neither church, mosque, nor any other type of religious institution. Instead, I devoted myself to preparing for my worldly future: I dedicated myself to my country. I entered the ROTC (Reserve Officers Training Corps) program at my high school and excelled. I was told that there was no greater calling than to stand up and fight for one’s country. To this ideal, I put forth all of my efforts. It was also during this time that I started to fall prey to street life. I soon gained a reputation as a tough guy, and while it earned me a lot of respect from others on the streets, it also led to my downfall. On August 26, 1990 I was arrested and charged with “aggravated assault with a deadly weapon” as well as “accessory to murder.” Being highly publicized, my case sent shockwaves through the community. Most of my co-defendants were good students who were expected to succeed in whatever they chose to do. Thus, many people were baffled as to how all of this happened. In September of that year, our charges were upgraded to “organized crime conspiracy to commit murder” and “organized crime murder.” I was then placed in solitary confinement because I was considered a threat to the security of the institution. In April 1991, I was formally sentenced to 20 years in prison for the part I played in those crimes. I would like to think that I was a man at that time; but in reality, I was still a boy trying to act like a man. And so in this self-deluded state, I was thrust into an environment that I was totally unprepared to deal with. On July 21, 1991, I arrived at my first unit of assignment, the Clemens Unit in Brazoria, Texas. This unit was nicknamed the “Burning Hell.” My first cell partner called himself Mac-T. He attempted to lay down the rules of the cell immediately: 1- take off your shoes before entering the cell, 2- clean the floor before you leave the cell, and 3- no noise when he is praying. Thinking that I was tough, I really did not try to listen to what he was saying. So needless to say, we did not stay in the cell together longer than a day. Only in later years did I learn that he was a Muslim. Soon after that, I started to assimilate into the prison culture: fighting, stealing, gangbanging, and getting drunk at every chance. Anything to try to forget my wasted life and shattered dreams. I left Clemens in December of 1991 so that I could attend college at the Hughes Unit in Gatesville, Texas. My journey was just beginning. Upon my arrival at the Hughes Unit, I immediately recognized the complete difference in the environment. Where as in Clemens everyone was about the same age as me, in this new unit most people were 15 to 20 years older than I was. My reputation preceded me to Hughes, so I was forced to live up to it. A few of the older men saw what I was doing and tried to warn me that this was not the way to do my time. Nonetheless, the cycle that I had started in Clemens came back in full swing. I fought a lot, drank a lot, and did everything I could do to break the rules of an establishment that I saw as corrupt. In 1993 when my father died, my life spiraled completely out of control. In my eyes, I had nothing to live for – my one source of stability was gone. It was during this time that I met three brothers who would have a huge impact on my life. One was named Yaqub, another Kareem, and the other Wadi. These were three of the most disciplined people I had ever met. They were devout Muslims whose sole purpose in life was to please God. Often times, they would invite me to the Islamic services, but with my gangster persona and corrupted mentality, I would decline and go on about my mischief. By this time, I considered myself an atheist. The only thing I worshipped was power; the only thing I believed in was myself. It was in that state that I was to meet a young man who would inspire me to return to the one thing that had been missing from my life for years: God. It was 1995, and I was working in the kitchen as a diet cook. My job was to ensure that the food was up to dietary standards and that each person on the approved list received their tray during mealtime. My assistant was a young man named Haywood. He was a Muslim and went by the name Mustafa. We were good friends and would talk about everything: politics, education, and even religion. And so one day, while he was studying, I asked him what he was reading. He replied, "This does not have anything to do with drinking or killing – you wouldn’t be interested.” I bothered him until he finally let me see what it was that he was studying: he was teaching himself Arabic. When he asked if I knew what it was and I said yes, he didn’t believe me. I told him that I had seen it when I was introduced to Islam in 1984. I told him that I could even learn it if he taught me the letters. He said, "NO WAY!" so I tried to bet him that I could learn it, but he told me that Muslims do not gamble. I resolved to learn Arabic just to prove to him that I could. He taught me the letters and around 20 minutes later, I had them memorized. The feeling of accomplishment was incredible! When he saw that I had committed them to memory, he gave me a short list of words to learn, thinking that I could do nothing with it. I really do not blame him for feeling that way – I know that I would have felt the same way about me. After learning the word list, I needed another way to study Arabic. Little did I know that my next decision would change my life forever. On a whim (or perhaps by inspiration), I decided to ask a Muslim named Faheem for a copy of the Qur'an, Islam’s sacred Book, to aid me in my study of the Arabic language. He gave me one saying, "God-willing, you will become a Muslim." I did not think so but I thanked him anyway. My next step was to start trying to read the Arabic in the Qur'an. As I was reading, some of the injunctions and stories in the scripture caught my attention. They touched me in a way that is hard to describe, and after a few months of studying, I told Faheem that I was thinking about becoming a Muslim. He encouraged me and gave me a lot of advice. In my studies, I reflected upon the actions of Yaqub, Wadi, and Kareem. These were three brothers who had endured the brutality and hopelessness of prison life for decades and still held their heads up high with the knowledge that all things are in the hands of Allah. No matter what man tried to do to them, they maintained their faith in the doctrine that there is no might or power except the Power of the One True God, Allah. And so it was, with these thoughts in my head, that I continued my journey. The final piece fell in place on a Friday night. The next morning I was supposed to pick up a package of illegal contraband that I had been waiting for. As I sat in my housing area that night, I decided that I would read from the Qur'an. As I opened the Book, the words of a particular verse jumped out at me: Surah 3, verse 103, which reads, "¼and you were on the brink of a pit of fire, then He saved you from it, thus does Allah make clear to you His communications that you may follow the right way." These words shook my very soul such that I decided not to go to my meeting the next morning. The next day, I found out that the person who I was supposed to meet had been apprehended. I was so taken aback by this that I did something that I had not done since my youth: I prayed. I prayed for forgiveness of my sins and bad conduct; I prayed for guidance and mercy from the God I had turned my back on. I decided then and there that I wanted to dedicate my life to doing good and pleasing God. When I took this good news to Faheem, he sat me down and asked me if I was resolved on my decision. When I told him yes, he began to educate me on the basic beliefs and teachings of Islam. When other Muslims saw this, some encouraged me while others, familiar with my ways, told the brothers that they were wasting their time. I would not be denied, however. As I learned the Prayer, a whole new world opened up to me that I had never seen before. In this world was peace, contentment, and most importantly, a sense of completeness. The lessons that I was learning about Tawheed (Unity and Oneness of God) touched my soul. By the Grace of Allah, and with the help of the Muslims that were in the cellblock with me, I learned very quickly. I was ready to take my Shahadah (public declaration of faith), but I still had one piece of unfinished business: I needed to disassociate myself from my gang. By that time, I had a lot of rank and influence in my organization so I thought that there would be no problem with me walking away. I thought wrong. They say that with knowledge comes responsibility, and with responsibility comes accountability. As such, people wanted me to be held accountable for my actions, so they came up with a plan to take me out. I had decided to call a meeting of the other leaders of my organization to let them know what it was that I was doing and why. I owed no one an explanation, but I wanted to be up front with them in order to make a clean break. I was oblivious to their plotting against me, thus I naively went to the recreation yard to meet them. Allah says in the Qur'an in Surah 3, verse 55: "And they planned and Allah (also) planned, and Allah is the best of planners." During the meeting, certain inmates who were trying to get rank within the organization proposed that I should be beaten and/or killed. This was all discussed while I was present! I was outraged but not shocked. Many people in prison look at Islam like it is just another gang. Thus, to the spiritually-blinded eyes of many of my former gang mates, I was changing my loyalty from one gang to another. There was one man, however, who understood the difference. His name was Willie, an he was as wild as they come. Thus, imagine my shock when he said the following words: "How can we even sit here talking about doing something to this brother just because he wants to give his life to God." He went on to remind the members of the meeting about all of the things that I had done to help many of my fellow gang members. In the end, they recognized the truth of his words and decided to leave me unharmed. Years later, some of the same brothers would embrace Islam in much the same way that I did. Allah touches the hearts of men in ways that we do not perceive. It is only later that we comprehend and recognize the wonderful plan of the Creator. The next night, I declared my Shahadah in front of all of the community that was present at the Islamic teaching service. I can not express the feelings of love and joy that I felt when I publicly declared my belief. While I had been saying my Shahadah in my ritual prayer for weeks, it was not the same. It felt like a massive burden had been lifted off of my back. For the first time in my life, I was truly free. It was like I had been born again – returned to the natural state of my early childhood. This was a new beginning. I had little idea of where my journey was taking me, but I was nevertheless glad to be going. The next few months were spent in intense studying. I wanted to learn everything at my disposal about Islam. My studies were aided by four brothers who helped me greatly: Faheem, Shafiyq, Malk`ilm, and Ismaiyl Shareef, a.k.a. "The Minister." These four were instrumental to my intellectual and spiritual growth as a Muslim, and I thank Allah every day that He allowed me to cross paths with them. Malk`ilm and Shareef were concerned with studying Arabic. Shafiyq was into hadeeth (Prophetic traditions), and he never passed up the chance to share something with me. Faheem was my partner, my confidant, and my biggest supporter. I started using an Arabic/English dictionary to understand the Arabic text of the Qur'an. I had been misled and duped by the translators of the Bible my whole life, so I was highly skeptical of someone else’s translation of the Holy Qur'an. My goal became to not only read and write Arabic, but also to be able to understand and translate the Book on my own. I had no instructor, but I did have determination, faith in Allah’s Power, and a will to succeed. I would spend up to 10 hours a day learning the words of Surah 2. As I familiarized myself with the words, I would commit the verses to memory. It was a hard and long process that definitely took its toll on me physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. I would often pray to Allah to lighten the load of my intensive studies. I did this until I came across the verse in which Allah tells the believers that He has imposed no difficulty upon them in their religion (22:78). This greatly lifted my spirits and gave me the strength to carry on. So, within six months after taking my Shahadah, I was teaching the beginning Arabic class. Al-Hamdu lillah li dhalik (Praise be to Allah for that). As I became more spiritually aware, I began to see the value of true Islamic knowledge. It is reported in a Tradition: "Seek knowledge even as far as China." Thus, my immediate task became to acquire all of the Islamic knowledge that I could obtain through my limited resources. I started studying the books of Hadeeth. I became familiar with the different authors of the major canonical books of Traditions. Next, I sought out a deeper and better understanding of the fundamentals of faith. I strove to recognize the spiritual meanings of the physical acts of worship that we perform everyday. I also turned my attention to the science of Qur'anic exegesis. I studied the works of Ibn Kathir and Jafar As-Saddiq in order to get a richer understanding of the different schools. I next turned my attention to Islamic history, while trying not to confine myself to a particular author or school of thought. I read the works of Ibn Atheer, Muhammad Hykal, al-Ameen al-Amilee, and Ameer Ali. The more that I learned about the "Golden Age" of Islamic history, the more my faith in the future of humanity grew. Allah the, the Most High, tells us in His Book that we must reflect on the generations that passed away before us. By studying the actions of the Ummah (Islamic nation) of the past, we see what sincerity of faith and dependence on Allah can accomplish. Similarly, I recognized what disunity can do to the Ummah. Petty hatreds and grudges can destroy the oneness of the Muslims. With this knowledge, I then sought to inspire others to open their minds to the Truth and to embrace Islam wholeheartedly, without any reservations. Soon after, I was asked to start giving lectures at our teaching services. I tried to stay away from frivolous topics and discussions so as to give a clear and correct view of Islam. My objective was to establish the basics and stay away from the different ideologies and fractionalization. Once I began to speak, Allah opened up for me many doors of knowledge and understanding. I still continued to focus on perfecting my knowledge of the Arabic language and the Islamic sciences. In July 1999, I was transferred to the Beto Unit in Palestine, Texas to attend another college. As I settled in, I began to teach Arabic once again but this time at the advanced level. The regional Islamic Chaplain, Imam Abdullah Rasheed, asked me to participate in handling the Islamic affairs, so I was appointed to the Majlis Al-Shura (decision-making council) and acted in that capacity for two years. The experience and knowledge that I gained working under Imam Rasheed and his successor, Imam Omar Rakeeb, helped me to grow not only mentally, but it also made me aware of my moral duty as a Muslim. On June 17, 2003, I was released from prison after almost 13 years of incarceration. While some say that my time in prison was a waste of life and potential, I look back on it as a blessing from a Most Merciful God. I used to ask myself, "What would have happened if I had never come to prison?" This was something that bothered me all of the time until I read in Surah 64, verse 11: "No affliction comes about but by Allah's permission; and whoever believes in Allah, He guides aright his heart; and Allah is Cognizant of all things." This helped me to understand that my going to prison was only a trial from Allah. It helped me to recognize my error and amend my life. And while I missed out on a portion of the life of this world, in sha' Allah (God willing) I gained a much greater portion of the Hereafter.[/quote]
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