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[quote]Dear Atifrafi

Your quote:

“People remaining unmarried and committing adultery is not anyone's imagination here, but i would say that marriage is not a guarantee that one will not commit adultery.”

Because of married people committing adultery, do you assume that it is better to commit adultery being unmarried ?  Adultery is a capital sin.  It should not be committed in either of the states – married or unmarried.

Be aware that adultery is mostly committed by unmarried, because, every healthy man have to have an outlet.  It is quite natural.  That is why marriage is necessary to be in sane mind, keep our Eimaan intact, our healthy in a good state following the Islamic moral ethics.

To simplify things, let us start in this way :

When a men or women are becoming ready for marriage, i.e. At the age of their puberty, say it is between 12 to 16, very few get married at this age.  One may remain unmarried for certain period for want of resources which are depending upon his income, his immediate responsibilities at home with respect to other sisters’ marriage, education of himself and other siblings, care of parents if they are aged, living standard of his family, housing problems, plus other socio-economic problems.

During such time, he has to restrain himself by not committing illegal sexual intercourse.  Some may take 5 years (after the age of 16), some 10 years and others 15 years.  At the most, majority of the men stay unmarried till they read 30.  They strive hard to get away with every problem at hand and make themselves to be ready to get married.  In such case, what holds them back from entering into a marriage fold ?  If you feel still not attracted to the marriage and sure of being sinless (fornication, etc). then it means you have some medical problem.  For a healthy man, everyday is burning day for him in loneliness.  This is general trend.  Even at the age of 30 or 35 few people take another route – they go away from home to gulf countries without marrying.  This type of journey takes their 5 to 10 years away from their life.  Once they go back to their home, say by the age of 45 or so, they become tired and tasteless.  AT this age, it becomes very difficult for them to marry a girl of their choice.  But to take care of their old age, there must be someone very personal.  This time, only a wife can serve him better than anyone else.

The people who do not have the above experience, must get married at the age of 30 in order to raise their own family and children.  By the time they become retired, say at the age of 60 or so, their children become ready for the next round of their responsibilities.  This is how the world is going on smoothly.

Suppose anyone, at any stage feel very strongly a desire to have a sexual intercourse, the marriage becomes Fardh on him.   If he does not and can pull his life till such time that he settles all his problems, then the marriage becomes fardh or Sunnah depending upon his personal condition.

Your quote :

“By using the words “can”, “have to”, “must” or “may” I am not daring to add something into Qura'n but this is something very clear in the Quran. I have asked u earlier that why don't u translate the word "Fankihu" as "U MUST" marry. Is it correct or not ?”
Unquote

What ever we can add, we can add or delete only in the translation.  The adding the deleting in translation is only an effort to give the maximum clearest message of Allah to the mankind.  Hence, no translation is perfect.  Neither English nor Urdu or any other language can give the exact message of Allah.  The nearest meaning is given to general understanding.  In case of a dispute of minute details, it is always stressed to look into the original language – Arabic to find the exact message.  Hence, none can translate “Fankihu” with any wishful prepositions assuming a meaning as we want.  No. To marry, stress is already there. It simply can be understood that you “marry” or “wed”.

Your quote :

“The dressing order is very clear. The Marriage verses are also clear to recommend, not to order. For us, I think we should do what is recommended in the Qura'n but we should be clear what is recommended and what is Fardh.

Unquote

All orders of Al-Qur’aan are to be obeyed.  If at all there is any leniency, it would have been clearly defined.  Like, making love with wife during the nights of Ramadhan, For breaking an oath, or indulging in sexual acts during fasting, you can compensate such sins with freeing slaves, if you do not have animal to sacrifice during Hajj, they you can fast for 3 days there and 7 days on return home, if you do not have means to marry a free woman then you can marry a slave girl with the permission of the owner, etc. etc.  If you chose to reject any command of Allah, saying there is no stress, there is only recommendation, there is no order, etc, read the following :

“Verily, those who disbelieve in Allah and His Messengers and wish to make distinction between Allah and His Messengers (by believing in Allah and disbelieving in His Messengers) saying, “We believe in some but reject other,” and wish to adopt a way in between.”  “They are in truth disbelievers.  And We have prepared for the disbelievers a humiliating torment.”  “And those who believe in Allah and His Messengers and make no distinction between any of them (Messengers), We shall give them their rewards, and Allah is Ever OftForgiving, Most Merciful.” ( An-Nisa, Chapter-4, Verses-150-152

“And who does more wrong than he who invents a lie against Allah or rejects His Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, revelations, etc) ?  Verily, the Zalimum (polytheists and wrongdoers, etc.) shall never be successful.”   (Al-Anam – Chapter-6, Verse-21)

Read also Surah Al-Anam, Verses-39, 49, 93 and 157.  Surah Al-Araf, Verses-9, 36, 37, 51, 182,

To the people who follow their vain desire, Allah warns :  “ And had We willed, We would surely have elevated him therewith but he clung to the earth and followed hi own vain desire.  So his description is the description of a dog: if you drive him away, he lolls his tongue out, or if you leave him alone, he (still lolls his tongue out.  Such is the description of the people who reject Our Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses, lessons, signs, revelations, etc).  So relate the stories, perhaps they may reflect.”  “Evil is the likeness of the people who reject Our Ayat (proofs, evidences, verses and signs, etc), and used to wrong their ownselves.

Your quote :

“About frustration, I was quoting those people who marry more than once, even more than 4 and say that they are doing this to save themselves from adultery. Just to fulfill their lust they use the name of Islam. If u know about Pakistan, here is a very popular politician who has married i think about 9 times ( officially) and he says the same. This is what i was pointing that people are using the name of Islam to fulfill there own lust.”

Unquote

People do not marry out of frustration.  Marrying up to 4 is allowed.  If you think that people are simply taking advantage of the verse, which in your own opinion, does not give any permission etc. you are absolutely wrong.  This is the verse (4:3) making it clear to the people that if they could deal justly, they can marry up to 4.  In order to understand a command of Allah, you must know the background and situation under which it was revealed.  Read the following :

Tafsir Tabari :

The Prohibition of Marrying Female Orphans Without Giving a Dowry

Allah said,

[وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تُقْسِطُواْ فِى الْيَتَـمَى فَانكِحُواْ مَا طَابَ لَكُمْ مِّنَ النِّسَآءِ مَثْنَى]

(And if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls, then marry (other) women of your choice, two) Allah commands, when one of you is the caretaker of a female orphan and he fears that he might not give her a dowry that is suitable for women of her status, he should marry other women, who are plenty as Allah has not restricted him. Al-Bukhari recorded that `A'ishah said, "A man was taking care of a female orphan and he married her, although he did not desire to marry her. That girl's money was mixed with his, and he was keeping her portion from her. Afterwards, this Ayah was revealed about his case;

[وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تُقْسِطُواْ]

(If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly)'' Al-Bukhari recorded that `Urwah bin Az-Zubayr said that he asked `A'ishah about the meaning of the statement of Allah,

[وَإِنْ خِفْتُمْ أَلاَّ تُقْسِطُواْ فِى الْيَتَـمَى]

(If you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with the orphan girls.) She said, "O my nephew! This is about the orphan girl who lives with her guardian and shares his property. Her wealth and beauty may tempt him to marry her without giving her an adequate dowry which might have been given by another suitor. So, such guardians were forbidden to marry such orphan girls unless they treated them justly and gave them the most suitable dowry; otherwise they were ordered to marry woman besides them.'' `A'ishah further said, "After that verse, the people again asked the Messenger of Allah (about marriage with orphan girls), so Allah revealed the Ayah,

[وَيَسْتَفْتُونَكَ فِى النِّسَآءِ]

(They ask your instruction concerning the women..) [4:127].'' She said, "Allah's statement in this Ayah,

[وَتَرْغَبُونَ أَن تَنكِحُوهُنَّ]

(yet whom you desire to marry) [4:127] refers to the guardian who does not desire to marry an orphan girl under his supervision because she is neither wealthy nor beautiful. The guardians were forbidden to marry their orphan girls possessing property and beauty without being just to them, as they generally refrain from marrying them (when they are neither beautiful nor wealthy).''

The Permission to Marry Four Women

Allah's statement,

[مَثْنَى وَثُلَـثَ وَرُبَاعَ]

(two or three, or four), means, marry as many women as you like, other than the orphan girls, two, three or four. We should mention that Allah's statement in another Ayah,

[جَاعِلِ الْمَلَـئِكَةِ رُسُلاً أُوْلِى أَجْنِحَةٍ مَّثْنَى وَثُلَـثَ وَرُبَـعَ]

(Who made the angels messengers with wings, - two or three or four) [35:1], does not mean that other angels do not have more than four wings, as there are proofs that some angels do have more wings. Yet, men are prohibited from marrying more than four wives, as the Ayah decrees, since the Ayah specifies what men are allowed of wives, as Ibn `Abbas and the majority of scholars stated. If it were allowed for them to have more than four wives, the Ayah would have mentioned it. Imam Ahmad recorded that Salim said that his father said that Ghilan bin Salamah Ath-Thaqafi had ten wives when he became Muslim, and the Prophet said to him, "Choose any four of them (and divorce the rest).'' During the reign of `Umar, Ghilan divorced his remaining wives and divided his money between his children.

Therefore, had it been allowed for men to marry more than four women at the same time, the Prophet would have allowed Ghilan to keep more than four of his wives since they all embraced Islam with him. When the Prophet commanded him to keep just four of them and divorce the rest, this indicated that men are not allowed to keep more than four wives at a time under any circumstances. If this is the case concerning those who already had more than four wives upon embracing Islam, then this ruling applies even more so to marrying more than four.

Your politician in Pakistan is not your mentor or guide in Islam.  Nor you or anyone else is going to answer for his excesses committed.  If he marries 9 or more, he is responsible for that.  Without knowing the full truth, it is not good to comment on anyone. As long as he keeps 4 wives at a time, none has a right to comment anything bad on him. None will question you as to why didn’t you follow him.  But you will be answerable if you do not follow our Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him).

Peace & Plenty of Smiles

Zeenaeem[/quote]

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