Studying Islam

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[quote]with the name of allah
alsalam alkum

i'm sorry that i misunderstood, i thought that you were asking: if marriage was "fard". due to my up-bringing in the usa and christain up-bringing. i was taught that, a man can only be married, to "one" women, and that one women can only be married to one man at a time. one must divorce, to be able to marry again. there are many reason's one may divorce. however, depending on youe religious beliefs, would determine a couples divorce. for instance, the chruch doctorine that i was brought up to believe in. a couple would have to get marriage cconsolation before marriage as well as for a divorce. if the couple after this still wish to divorce. then they would be granted permission to do so from the chruch. but we are told that divorce isn't liked by g-d, and that, we must ask for forgiveness. and then we are free to marry again.  now, the plural marriage, at one time. based upon my understanding of this. i agree with one wife at one time in normal circumstances. from reading the stories of the life of the prophet(sws). i notice that, he was married to one women, until that women died (khadejah, may allah be please with her). and not only that, he had no desire to marry another at the same time he was with her, even thou, he could have since that was a normal pratice at that time. i also, discovered that, when he decided to except plual marriage, he didn't do it for his own selfishness. he had a reason. what i found intersting in these cases, was the fact, that it was at the reguest of the women. and the women had the choice to chose. today, you find women being forced into plural marriages and not only that. you find the many cases of women not having choices at all, when it comes to their lives. i haven't found these pratices of islam today, in the islam of the pratices of the prophet(sws). i can't find one story, were the prophet(sws), forced any one person to do anything. espesiallly when it came to women and things that concerned them. today i find that,that muslim men and muslim women, lack, the freedom of free choice. look around the world, and see, truly see, the condition of the muslim's. it's easy to play, "the blame game", but the truth lies within the ummah, and not in one country, one sect of people, or one opnion. the saddes thing i have had to witiness, in this country among the muslim's, is how they tare each other apart by these things. you have one masjid of one race, and another based upon another race, and then, you have people like me, who wonder around confessed by all the racsim we witiness from muslim's. the islam i chose is nothing like the islam i found through the muslim communities. there are so many differences among the muslim's opnions about islam, that i've learnt the only guidence is the qur'an and the sunnah. i know the prophet(sws) wouldn't teach anything that goes agaisnst the qur'an. we i have doubt, i leave it alone until allah gives me insight. i have to anwere to allah for what i do, if i'm going to be punished for something from allah, i want to make sure i'm being punished, because it was my choice and not that i did wrong listen to someelse who was wrong. may allah bless us with understanding, to not let our hearts go astray after he has guided us, may he forgives of our wrongs and reward us for a good,may we seek refudge with him from shtan, from the troment of the grave, form the day when all mankind shall give account, and from the day's of the da'jal. may allah have mercy on us all. for- give- me, if i offend you or anyone else. i leave in peace.[/quote]

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