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[quote]salaamz...
okay, i think people are getting to emotional/personally involved in this topic
but anyway
my general concensis on this issue is that yes men are allowed to punish their wives only in the total extreme sinario of if they sleep with other men. They have to go through some rules first, eg, not sleep with them for a few nights, talk to them, reason with them...if all else fails, LIGHTLY hitting is allowed. Women have the same authority over their husbands, but because men are physically stronger, it is probably not advised for a woman to advance on a man cheating on her because if he retaliates he has more of a physical capacity to harm her.
The problem with this rule is many men take liberty to apply it whenever they feel like it and beat their women freely (resulting in domestic violence). Only if you are applying all the other rules of islam e.g salah fasting everything that islam asks you to do to make u a good muslim can you turn to the quran to suport your actions. Dont cherry pick religion. I know many women that have been abused so much by husbands who arent even good muslims themselves. The women have done nothing wrong,simply been there infront of their husband while the husband was angry and fallen pray to their anger. Islam teaches us to control our anger. This authority is a double edged sword. If abused, those who do abuse it will be held heavily responsible. Allah does not forgive unless those we wrong forgive us. Men are using this as an excuse to seriously hurt their wives- if they were decent muslims that followed the quran and everything it taught instead of cherry picking religion then they would only lightly punish their women if they did something as horrific as slept with other men. First of all, the state of islam would punish a woman/man for that sort of behaviour anyway (whipped in public). Is it not better for the husband to resolve this issue and punish her for this act within the privacy of their own home instead of a public humiliation? Second of all this does not give a man the authority to beat her freely- nore does it give him the authority to pulvarise her, nore does it mean if the man did something similar (e.g. slept with other women) he would get away with it. The state would punish him too, and the wife if she wanted could also take similar action, if she is in a safe position to do so.
 The reason why this rule is there is to preserve the sanctity of marraige. As I understand it, a man or woman can only be accused of adultry if four witnesses see it happening. Now we all know how rare it would be for four witnesses to find anyone commiting adultry. But what if the husband/wife know their other half is commiting such an act and is not being publicly punished for it simply because 4 witnesses haven't been found? In this case i think a man IF HE KNOWS FOR CERTAIN because the woman has admited it can beat her lightly to punish her within the home and not make it a public scene. However there is always a danger of the man taking his anger out on his wife for this, which is why im stressing the importance of him being a god fearing man who knows he will have to answer for his actions if he does abuse his authority. 
Islam is fair and just. The prophet told us to look after our women three times in the last sermon because he knew we are the weaker sex and will be downtroden if rules were not set up to protect us. There is wisdom in Allah's sayings, we just have to be open minded to see it.

Edited by: tweety on Thursday, May 24, 2007 7:26 PM

Edited by: tweety on Thursday, May 24, 2007 7:27 PM[/quote]

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