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Is beating wife allowed? Does Quran permit?
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[quote]Surah 4.34 The following is a typical translation of the verse: 4:34. ‘Men are in charge of (or overseers of - qawwamuna) women, as Allah has given them more (strength) than the other (sometimes translated as made them superior to the other), and because they spend of their wealth (to provide for them). Therefore women who are virtuous are obedient to God, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what God would have them guard. As for those women on whose part you fear rebellion (nushuz), admonish them and banish them to beds apart, (and last) beat (adribu) them. Then, if they obey you, seek not a way against them. For God is Most High, Great (above you all). Qawwamuna Qawwamuna comes from the root qawwam, the intensive form of qa’im – ‘one who is responsible for’ or ‘one who takes care of’ a thing or a person. Qawwam can be used to mean keeper, custodian, guardian, to be in charge of, manage, run, tend, guard, keep up, preserve, take care of, attend to, watch over, look after, direct, superintend, but it also means maintainer, caretaker, provider, and supporter. Some translators of the Qur’an have used the word ‘guardian’, ‘one who stands firm in the business of others, protects their interests, and looks after their affairs’. The same word is used elsewhere in the Qur’an, as later in the same Surah, 4.135: ‘O you who believe, stand out firmly (qawwamina) for justice as witnesses to Allah…..’ Husbands are required to protect and support So the true Islamic sense of the word is to protect and support - Muslim men are not expected to dominate, abuse or exploit, but to take care of their women, and this duty and responsibility of a husband is something that Muslim women are urged to accept. Muhammad Asad’s translation of this verse reads: ‘Men shall take full care of women, with the bounties which God has bestowed on them more abundantly than upon the latter, and with what they may spend out of their possessions. The righteous women are the truly devout ones, who guard the intimacy which God has ordained to be guarded. As for those women whose ill-will you have reason to fear (on whose part you fear nushuz – disloyalty, rebellion, ill-conduct), talk to them persuasively, then leave them alone in bed (without molesting them) then (adribu) them (ie. either separate from them, or resume sleeping with them when they are willing and seek peace); and if they return to obedience, do not seek an excuse for blaming them: For God is Most High, Great (above you all). Nushuz Some translations use the word ‘rebellion’ in order to translate nushuz. This implies the power and authority of the husband, and suggests that when a wife rebels against her ‘lord and master’ it is sinful action on her part. It is important to realize that the very same word, nushuz, is used later in the very same surah in regard to the behaviour of the husband, and here we may observe that the word is usually translated as ill-treatment rather than rebellion. Very interesting….. ‘If a wife fears ill-treatment (nushuz) or desertion on her husband’s part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves, and such settlement is best…..’ (Surah 4.128). In fact, ‘ill-treatment’ is a far better translation; the word nushuz has a large number of possible meanings, including animosity, hostility, ill-will, ill-treatment, discord, every kind of deliberate bad behaviour of a wife towards a husband (or vice versa) including what is today called ‘mental cruelty’, and also the deliberate, persistent breach of marital duties (ie. refusing physical intimacy) on the part of either husband or wife. In the context of Surah 4.34 the most appropriate meaning would seem to be that of marital discord, in this case a wife’s ill-will which implies a deliberate and persistent breach of her marital obligations. If a husband finds that his wife has become disloyal to him, and is conducting herself to his shame, then it is not right for him to just ignore this, but it is his duty to do something about it. With luck, it may be enough to communicate. Communication is everything in a relationship, especially in a marriage. However, the text implies that things have gone far beyond this point. If the wife takes no notice of discussion and counselling, then the relationship is really starting to break down. A husband might then begin the process of separation by no longer sleeping with her. Shifting to separate beds is usually such a serious step in a marriage that it clarifies the mind, and the couple are brought to the stage of talking things through seriously in order to reach some agreement. Adribu (Arabic root – daraba) The word translated as slap/hit/beat derives from the Arabic root daraba. In fact, daraba can be translated in over a hundred different ways, including to separate, to part, to set out (on the road), to shroud (in darkness), to mint (a coin), to publish (a book), to cover (as in ladies’ dress), to dispatch, to throw, to raise, and many more - and translators of the Qur’an and commentators on it have always had trouble with this word. As it happens, words derived from this same root occur no less than 58 times in the Qur’an, and are used in different contexts in ways that can be ambiguous and open to widely different translations into English. In none of these other places is it used or translated in the sense of to hit, strike or beat. If a husband had descended to the level of beating his wife, the divorce proceeding would most probably become inevitable, and any possibility of a process of reconciliation (as outlined in Surah 4.35, the next verse) wiped out. Aishah’s appraisal of the Prophet’s (pbuh) character Aishah was crystal clear: ‘The Prophet (pbuh) never abused or spoke ill of anybody,’ she said. ‘He forgave faults and refrained from retaliation. He never thought of taking personal revenge, forgave non-believers promptly on their conversion to Islam, never fought on personal grounds, took an interest in his household affairs, condemned vendettas and blood-feuds, and never beat anyone – not even a slave.’ (Ibn Sa’d 1.430, 502). The Proper Way – the Process of Support Returning to Surah 4.34, the next verse gives the excellent advice that if the relationship really looks like breaking up, then both spouses should call in the help of two supporters, one for each side in the dispute, and listen to everything that needs saying with witnesses who can help calm things down. 4:35. If ye fear a breach between them (ie. the man and his wife), appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family, and the other from hers; If they wish for peace (desire reconciliation), then God will cause their reconciliation (make them of one mind): for God has full knowledge, and is acquainted With all things.’ So therefore it is logical to conclude that the verses of Surah 4.34-35 suggest that when a wife has seriously jeopardised her marriage by her ill-will, the husband should reason with her, then abstain from sexual intimacy with her, and if that fails, separate from her. Two arbiters should then be called in to present the case of both sides, and do their best to reconcile them. If the marriage is not ‘dead in the water’, Allah will help to bring about their reconciliation. Refrence taken from On Beating One’s Wife by Sr. Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood[/quote]
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