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[quote][quote]women are against beating because no one likes to be beaten.Hitting never solves anything it instills fear rebellion anger and resentment. It might subdue a woman but it wont solve anything the fragile bond of trust will break with the first slap. Dialog is the only solution a husband and wife need  to keep their communication channels open at all times and a 2 way channel not &quot; I talk you listen&quot; but both talking and listening . 
  “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. &quot; a protector is not an aggressor and maintainer takes care of all needs physical, emotional and other things, it is a very heavy responsibility are men who complain about their wives actually fulfilling their responsibility? dissatisfaction lack of cooperation always has a root cause. Is it that the husband is too busy and the woman always bogged down with domestic problems? or maybe inlaws? maybe she doesn't get along with her mother in law and she complains to her husband but the answer she gets I dont want to hear anything she is my mother and you will do as she asks or something similar. Who is responsible for her happiness in this place? So a husband and wife need time privacy and at all times to keep talking pride and anger should not come in the way a husband could be wrong so an apology will not make him small.
              In the same way a wife needs to understand that a husband needs emotional support and  talk to her husband not just complain but really talk share what he is willing to share and respect his blood ties like mother father brother sister etc. 
              Marriage is give and take and respect of each other's needs. abuse and violence will never solve any relationship let alone a marriage. Lets examine these phrases &quot;but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all). ”  so what does obedience  mean between a husband a wife ?
 &quot; i command you obey?&quot;  no but you both talk find a solution and when a reconciliation takes place then no after shocks should be felt.  
     &quot;It is important to realize that the very same word, nushuz, is used later in the very same surah in regard to the behaviour of the husband, and here we may observe that the word is usually translated as ill-treatment

‘If a wife fears ill-treatment (nushuz) or desertion on her husband’s part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves, and such settlement is best…..’ (Surah 4.128).
           The wife will probably see hitting   as ill treatment so she can invoke her right to an arbitrator to settle the matter and if not satisfied ask for a divorce.
                    It is always better to settle things with trust and kindness in an open dialog  not with blows.[/quote][/quote]

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