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[quote]Asalaamu Aleikum wa Rahmatu Allah, I think the the parents and elders inthe family finding suitable mates for their young is a good idea. Especiallys ince the boy or girl is allowed to refuse. Their should be no compulsion in marriage. I have also seen more successful arranged marriages than those based on flaming hearts of love. I think falling in love is healthy. I also think falling in love after marrying the suitable partner is better and definitely longer lasting. My parents for example married because of their common goals, qualities, and expectations of a mate. They grew to love each other in a love of longevity, not a love of temporary bliss. I think when you fall in love with someone before marriage, you become blinded by this elevate feeling of eing in love and don't see many things you would otherwise see as faults and incompatibalities in your mate. When you are in love, your heart takes over. This can be dangerous pre-marriage, because maybe you will excuse any poor behavior or character, or worse, you will even let your body succumb to desire from this feeling of being in love. The safest way is to choose a mate with your brains and good judgement, then the love will grow from this base with such a strong foundation it will withstand many things in the future. This is my opinion. Allah knows best. Jameelah[/quote]
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