Studying Islam

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[quote]I do not think many men would marry a second wife just to releave their urges because their reason would overide their feelings.  Every man knows it's not easy to take care of more than one wife as you have to support them financially as well as emotionally.  But there are a few men out there who take second, third, or fourth wives just for sex.  Although picture this, you are the first wife of your husband and he marries another woman without getting your permission.  Your angry for a while but you soon realize that nothing much has changed in your relationship other than that he sleeps somewhere else every other day.  He is still taking care of you financially as well as emotionally.  Personally I think that it would not be as bad as most women think.  It's not like women need to have sex every day, so they would not go crazy if they didn't sleep with their husbands every night.  In fact women are the one's who are usually giving their husbands excuses as to why they cannot have sex that night.

I think what makes most women who are in a polygamous marriage angry is just the thought of their husbands being with another women instead of them.  But those feelings are brought upon by Shaitan as we know from a haddith that Aisha (ra) was angry one night when the prophet Muhammad (SAW) left her house to go to another one of his wives.  When he came back he noticed her anger and asked her about it.  He realized she was angry due to feelings of jealousy and told her that these are brought upon by Shaitan so whenever this happens she should supplicate to Allah to get rid of the evil thoughts brought upon by Shaitan.

"As before, there are other ways of providing for widows. Why not let the unmarried noble men deal with them, if they are noble enough?"

The prophet Muhammad commanded that unmarried men, if they have not been married before should marry virgins.  This is a well known sunnah of the prophet Muhammad.  So to ask an unmarried man to be noble by marrying a widow is something which is not approved of by Islam.  Consider this, a young man marries a middle aged widow.  This is his first marriage so he's expecting fun and excitement.  But he finds that not only is he unsatisfied with the sex life, but he's also unable to connect on a personal level with his wife due to the age difference.  This would lead to feelings of regret and may even lead the husband to end up committing adultery.  I knew of a man who was in a similar situation.  He married a widow and regretted his decision due to their age difference as well as her not being a virgin.  He asked her to allow him to marry a second wife but she refused and he did not know what to do as divorce is considered a last resort and every sheikh he asked adviced him not to divorce his wife.  See what kinds of problems that can cause?[/quote]

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