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Permission from first wife
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[quote]Since you are fond of case scenarios let me give you a few, based on personal witness. 1) A man married a woman out of love and family blessings. Later divorces her, out of disagreement and perhaps family pressure. The woman takes away the baby. He gets married, and this time an arranged marriage, for some good six to eight years. Later wants the former woman back, after all it is love. So re-marries the former woman without the second and current woman's consent. Establishes a separate home in a different city, abandoning the other woman with his mother. Several issues arise from this incident. 1) the evils of arranged marriage. 2) divorce on the basis of family instigation. 3) no consent or say of the second woman. The poor second woman comes from a place where her older sister (my mother's age) is still unmarried. Out of societal norms, she decides not to seek for a divorce. Her emotional life has been ruined utterly. Practically she lives like a nun. Now what would Islam as interpreted by our mullahs advise her, patience? and Islamically speaking, what law has the husband broken. none at all (since he sends her money), yet this is a gross violation of someone's rights. and if there had been a law that would have required the husband to seek the wife's permission, it is quite possible that she would have refused. Yet this concept of refusal is a generalization. Perhaps she would have relented imposing some conditions. But she would nonetheless have been consulted. After all I would like to be consulted on a decision that affects me, then why must we deny the woman her right of granting permission. When she retains this right, the husband can be kept in a check, just as the husband would expect his wife to be in check through modest conduct. 2) Another case. Man divorces first wife, and marries second out of love. Technically no violation of the law. The man cannot be punished. But what does the woman do in a society such as in Pakistan? Permission would have kept him in check. A check that is in addition to the Shariah law of conduct. The Shariah is very strict on extra-marital affairs. I cannot for once accept the legalization of such affairs for it stands in stark contradiction to the very principles of Islam. I will end here with two points: 1) It seems unfair not to include a woman in the second marriage decision. The right of permission should rest with her, and it should be upto the husband to convince her, that her rights would not be infringed. 2) I cannot condone legalization of extra-marital affairs. In the end I would say, just as slavery was time specific, so too is polygamy. It was a custom of the Arabs. But if societies have evolved since then, then so must our laws to reflect changed circumstances. Edited by: junaidj on Monday, January 03, 2005 8:24 AM[/quote]
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