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[quote]Assalamu Alaikum,
 [quote] Somehow I am not comfortable with the notion that one does not need permission from the first wife for second marriage. To me this reeks of violation of the rights of the first wife. [/quote]Perhaps in the Arab society at the time in which the Qur’an was revealed, the women did not object to such a thing as they do today? In fact, plural marriages was something that was very common and acceptable according to the custom of that society and I have even read that women would see it as a competition as to who will be the man’s favourite wife.

The scholars at al Mawrid have emphasised the need to see the ground on which the Qur’an has permitted -- and mark my words, I say permitted, not encouraged nor obligated -- the men to marry more than once. The important thing to note is that there was a purpose for it and the purpose was not to satisfy the man’s cravings for more pleasure. It is also just as important to note that it was seen as an acceptable norm by the people at the time. It certainly was not as the situation happens to often be today, where the woman gets married to a man, builds a family with him and then later finds to her suprise that he married another woman and has a family with her too. This situation is yet worse in many non-Muslim countries where the man marries a non-Muslim, she converts and later on finds that he married a second. Not having had knowledge of the permissibility of such a thing, she is then left to accept this awkward situation because Islam supposedly requires it. Such men murder Islamic directives at their whim!
 [quote] Second if the objective of multiple marriage be upbringing of orphans, can they not be financially supported, is marriage necessary. [/quote]According the scholars at al Mawrid, it seems that the very point these opening verses of Surah Al Nisa stress is the caring of the orphans. The verse itself stresses the condition that if they feel that they shall be much better able to take care of the orphans by marrying more than once (e.g. to the mother’s of the orphans), then they may make use of the custom of plural marriages, but unlike the culture at the time, a limit is set at four. It would seem that it was the best option but this could also imply that if an alternative that is better and more appropriate be found that it maybe used instead. It would seem that such would apply all the more in societies where plural marriages are frowned upon.
 [quote]Third, even if it be argued that there are other issues i.e., a widow woman's desires as apart from raising orphans, should this not be treated as a test of patience, after all if scholars counsel the unmarried and the homosexuals to stay chaste, then one could make a similar argument for widows. [/quote]But if their case is such that an acceptable alternative is there then it may be appropriate or even better to take advantage of it. With societies having a change of mind on this custom, it maybe argued that it no longer holds good, at least for those societies that do not see it as acceptable. Certainly for a woman who abhors even the thought of her husband having a second wife, I would advice that if she feels there is even the slightest chance he may marry again that she let him know before their marriage that she is strictly against it and that she is only prepared to marry him with the understanding that he will not marry another woman while married to her. If an agreement is made in this regard, the nasty repercussions of an unwanted second marriage can be avoided, and surely prevention is damn well better than cure!
 [quote] The Noble Qura’n doesn’t demand any permission from the first wife.No hadith is of value.[/quote]While this may seem true, the context and background in which the Qur’an was speaking may require us in our days to think again about ignoring the thoughts of the first wife.

May the Almighty forgiving Lord be merciful to us all![/quote]

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