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[quote]A Yorkshire Grandma in Court

In a trial the prosecuting attorney called a local grandma as his witness. He approached her at the stand&quot;So Mrs.Russel, do you know me?&quot; She responded,&quot;Why, yes! I know you Malcolm since as a boy. Always running away from classes. Frankly you have been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat,  manipulate others pretending to be the boss and talk behind their backs, a great sexist I would call you, cheating on your wife and bullying other women. Your wife has dumped you finally!You think you are a big shot when you know you are never going to mount to more than a two bit paper-pusher. Yes I know you!&quot;
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room, &quot;Mrs. Russel, do you know the defense attorney?&quot;
She again replied, &quot;Why, yes I know Mr.Billy since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted and his kids pee in pants when their mum is away at work because he is busy backbiting others and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relation with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire estate.Not to mention he has always been a threat to women including his wife with his complex ways.&quot;

The defense attorney nearly died.

The judge asked both the counselors to approach the bench and in a very quiet voice, said,
&quot;If either of you two idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.&quot;

LOL![/quote]

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