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[quote][blue]a message from a nice person:name has not been disclosed due to confidentiality but we felt we must share this info with our members and visitors-as this is sad and we all must think about the solutions to such problems-plus why we have such problems in our society...[/blue]

'I'm extremely unhappy with a couple of things in my lifestyle - been trying so hard to change myself but often become helpless. Sometimes we are caught up in vicious circles and find no way to get out of them. One such circle in my life is the attraction towards opposite sex. The only solution to purposefully manage it, in my eye, is "marriage" which hasn't been feasible and still is not for so many reasons.

It's not strange why most of Pakistani men have turned into "beasts". Men reach the age of 25 to 30 years and still they cannot marry. More so, marriages often take place without properly researching whether partners are practically compatible or not. Such things make men paedophiles, rapists, gays and sick. Would you believe if I tell you that I've been physically abused by many old-aged Sufis that used to visit our house? Leave this, by my own uncles and cousins. Leave this also, by my own grandfather.

The point is that marriages need to be made easy and the final decision of accepting or rejecting must fully be given to the two partners. Sometimes parents say that they are giving "free will" but, behind the scene, constantly emotionally blackmailing the girl or the boy. If you believe me, I've been trying my best to marry for long. Each time I raised this points to my elders, they cursed me back with taunts like "Children don't even grow up and yell for marriage." A 20 above man is not grown up!! I understand the problems of parents too but, at least, there should be some guidance on how to control sexual needs and desires. No body talks about such things. For years, I thought that "masturbation" is a big sin and a person must regret a lot and repent for committing such an evil. Such information is often spread in the name of Religion.

I mean, you tie down a starving man completely then sometimes you show him the “forbidden fruits”. You know, a hungry lion eats its own cubs. Similarly, a hungry Pakistani man abuses his own brothers, sisters, cousins, grand-sons, grand-daughters, nephews and nieces. These things sound most horrible but, by God, I’m telling you the experiences that I’ve been a self victim or an eye witness of.

I have a Girlfriend from another country… I know it is wrong and I’m shameful in front of my God for this and I curse myself for this but still I think there’s no other alternative available to fulfil my needs and wants. If I deprive myself of such a relationship, I very well know that there’s a lot of probability that I would turn into a “beast” too.

There has been a lot of research in Abnormal Psychology and I can tell you that circumstances can easily turn any man into a paedophile, incest or gay etc. When, because of deprivation, man is obsessed by sexual thoughts, fantasies and (night time) dreams, believe me, they can practically take him so faraway.

I’m going through a very tough period in my life. My parents have lost trust in me and my closed relatives have left me alone. I’m very unsure about my future, career, marriage etc. etc. I don’t know whether I should go back to home from where I’ve had worse memories of my life. I don’t know whether I should marry my Girlfriend; there is a lot of family pressure against it and, also, there are many cultural conflicts between us. As far as marrying in the family is concerned, I’m a highly controversial figure in the family

Anyway, I should end this long post. I have discussed these things with you for the sake of knowledge dissemination and elicitation. Please do let me know about your suggestions and viewpoints if you want to convey them.'[/quote]

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