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Is beating wife allowed? Does Quran permit?
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[quote]I see Sanwal that you have been reading the previous posts on the topic “it is common for husbands to beat their wives.” It is good to read previous discussions and gain knowledge and ideas of Participants. Let me start with your last point Further, please read 38: 44 (Suad): Here One of Allah’s apostle Ayub (peace be upon him) was ordered by Allah (the exalted) to beat his wife. 38: 44 is also supports that Islam does allow Husbands beating Wives. But surely as a last resort. (38:44) (and We said to him): “Take in your hand a bundle of rushes and strike with it, and do not break your oath.” *46 Indeed We found him steadfast. How excellent a servant (of Ours) he was. Indeed he constantly turned (to his Lord). *47 *46 A careful study of these words shows that the Prophet Job during illness had been annoyed with somebody (according to traditions, his wife) and sworn to beat him or her by giving so many stripes. When AIlah restored him to health and the anger of the illness was gone, he became worried as how to fulfil the oath. For if he carried out the oath, he would be inflicting pain on an innocent person, and if he did not, he would be committing the sin of breaking the oath. Allah took him out of the difficult situation by the Command: "Take a broom • containing as many sticks of straw as the number of the stripes you had sworn to give;then strike the person just once with the broom so as both to fulfil your oath and to avoid giving undue trouble to the person concerned. " This is the translation and explanation given by Maulana Maududi. I think it is quite clear that this surah is dealing with another issue and a particular instance and not dealing with hitting a wife. Coming to the part “The Reason-of-revelation (Shaan-e-Nuzool) of the Verse 4:34 also is helpful in clarifying the subject further. "Once a companion Saad Bin Rabia’ (may Allah be pleased with him) slapped his wife Habibah (may Allah be pleased with her) and the matter was reported to Rasoolullah’s (peace be upon him). Rasoolullah (peace be upon him) was about to give his verdict in favour of Wife, but, prior to that, Gabriel (peace be upon him) appeared and revealed this Verse “The Men are rulers over their women…..”, after this revelation Rasoolullah’s (peace be upon him) uttered that I wished something else and Allah (the exalted) ordered something else (Ibn-kathir)." I sort guidance on this and was told that this was not a correct quote or an authentic Hadith. Coming to the verse 4: 34 الرِّجَالُ قَوَّامُونَ عَلَى النِّسَاءِ بِمَا فَضَّلَ اللَّهُ بَعْضَهُمْ عَلَى بَعْضٍ وَبِمَا أَنْفَقُوا مِنْ أَمْوَالِهِمْ فَالصَّالِحَاتُ قَانِتَاتٌ حَافِظَاتٌ لِلْغَيْبِ بِمَا حَفِظَ اللَّهُ وَاللاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلا إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًا Let me quote from an article “Quranic Concepts on Gender Relations” Dr. Zainab Alwani The foremost quality of mind and character that flows from this commitment is a state of constant vigilance or an awareness of the presence of God, the All-Knowing.Tazkiya, or purification, is the important process of building this quality of God-consciousness, or taqwa. The Qur’an explained: “Ó mankind! We created you from a single (pair) of a male and a female, and made you into nations and tribes, that you may know each other (not that you may despise each other). Verily, the most honored of you in the sight of God is the most righteous of you…” (49:13). In this regard, the only aspect by which one person is deemed better than another in the sight of God is that of his/her piety. Taqwa is at the heart of traits cultivated by the five basic duties of every Muslim, the pillars of Islam.[2] These basic duties serve to build up the moral character of both the individual and the community. In addition, Qur’anic guidelines focus greatly on defining human relations, especially male/female relations by defining their roles, rights and responsibilities within marital relations, parent-child relations, family care, and with relatives, neighbors, friends, and colleagues. (Qur’an 16:68-72) The picture that the Qur'an illustrates reflects cooperation and a complementary relationship among the bees to fulfill their mission. Similarly, God has provided a mechanism to regulate and balance human relationships by prescribing behaviors that benefit relationships and prohibiting those that damage relationships. For example, God describes spying, mockery, and back-biting as prohibited behaviors that can destroy relationships,[4] while being truthful, trustworthy, just, and forgiving maintains and strengthens relationships. At the family level, there are rights and responsibilities for each person in the family to practice, which further encourage healthy relationships. Human beings are encouraged to learn how to work together in order to accomplish their goals[5]”. Since the Qur'an clearly explains the mission of mankind on earth as vicegerents of God, gender roles and relations are well defined. In order to establish an effective vicegerency as individuals, the Qur'an acknowledges taqwa (God-conscious piety) as the only distinction among mankind (men and women). Quranic teachings clearly outline the gender relations through major concepts that promote gender equality and justice in all levels. 1) Zawjiya (Pairing), establishes equality and cooperation; “O mankind! Reverence your guardian-Lord, who created you from a single soul. Created, of like nature, its mate, and from them twain scattered (like seeds) countless men and women—fear God, through Whom you demand your mutual (rights), and (reverence) the wombs (that bore you), for God ever watches over you” (Qur’an 4:1). Islam teaches that all people are created equal in worth and value regardless of race, ethnicity, gender or class. 2) Wilayah (Protectors and supporters of each other) - The Qur'an outlines the relationship between men and women as partners (Awliyā') of one another in establishing a healthy family and just society. The concept of wilaya establishes that men have no level of superiority over women, as God orders both genders to guide one another and keep each other in check. The Quran states in chapter 9, verse 71, "Men and women are protectors of one another: They enjoin what is just, and forbid what is evil, they observe regular prayers, practice regular charity and obey Allah and his messenger on them will Allah pour his mercy for Allah is exalted in power, wise(9:71). The verse outlines the foundation of gender relations as wilayah[6] (protectors and supporters of one another), and defines the relationship between men and women as partners (awliya') in establishing a healthy family and society. It further expands that concept to give each person (male and female) equal responsibility for their actions and fulfillment of religious duties. Islam provides a framework within which people can fulfill their duty of serving God and fulfilling His will, the Qur’an emphasizes certain values that inform the thought and behavior of Muslims. Some of the main values are God-consciousness (taqwa[7]), Love, doing good (ihsān), justice (`adl), and equality (musāwah). All of the teachings of Islam are to be implemented and interpreted through these values which ensure that the guidelines and rules will be applied in a manner that is consistent with the objectives of Islam, rather than implemented in a rigid or piecemeal fashion that may do more harm than good.[8] 3) Qiwama: The third concept Qiwama is in the area of family, where the Qur’an assigns men to be financially responsible for the family;[9] women are then free to take care of the family by being nurturers, without having the added stress of earning an income. The Qur’an states, “Men are Qawwamun over women, because God has given one more (strength) than the other, and because of the sustenance they provide from their own means. Therefore, the righteous women (as-salihat) are devoutly obedient (qanitat), and guard what God would have them guard (hafidhat lil-ghayb)... (Qur’an 4:34-35) Qawwamun conveys the notion of providing for and that the term is used prescriptively to indicate that men ought to provide for women in the context of child- bearing and rearing. It also does not necessarily mean that women cannot provide for themselves in that circumstance. The term qawwamun is not an unconditional statement of male authority and superiority over all women for all time[10]. This variance does not negate the principle of equality; rather it is a sign of social complement and solidarity between people. Each gender has special qualities that, in general, lead each gender to be better qualified for a particular role. Due to the fact that women have the exclusive ability and responsibility for the continuation of humanity's existence; men must fulfill the financial responsibility to maintain stability and balance in the family and society. Moreover, the roles are not mutually exclusive. It is a natural part of life for variance to exist between people concerning their strengths, abilities and qualifications[11]. Therefore, Islam emphasizes women rights of education, work, and socio-economic and political development. Muslim women throughout the history of the Ummah played a significant role on socioeconomic development of their societies. Some of the contemporary Muslim scholars[12] explain the verse by emphasizing the male's treatment of the female. The verse establishes the fundamental obligation for men, with regard to women, to create a balanced and shared society. The word qawwamun was mentioned in only three verses in the entire Qur'an; two of them call upon believing men and women to establish justice as an ultimate goal in any situation, O you who believe stand out firmly for Justice as witnesses to God even as against your parents, or your kin, or whether it be against rich or poor. Follow not the lusts (of your heart)…(Qur’an 4:135). The second verse states, O you who believe! Stand out firmly for God as witnesses to fair dealing, and let not the hatred of others to you make you swerve to wrong and depart you from justice. Be just: that is next to piety. And fear God. For God is well-acquainted with all that you do (Qur’an 5:8). Qawwamun in verse 4:34 refers to men’s responsibility toward his family to be fair and compassionate, as Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) exemplified through his sayings and actions. Therefore, men are responsible for maintaining the family financially, and providing for a broad range of needs, including spiritual, emotional, and intellectual needs. Without this divine injunction, some men may not fulfill their financial responsibility towards their family (Abugideiri and Alwani 2003). While men are obligated to work in order to support the family, women may choose to work outside the home or may choose not to work, depending on the individual circumstance of the family. Muslim women did not restrict the meaning of work only to the financial support of their families. They came to realize that each individual has special qualities that better enable them to perform a certain societal role; and society as a whole functions more effectively when that role is fulfilled. As the Qur’an says, “And in nowise covet those things in which God has bestowed His gifts more freely on some of you than on others: to men is allotted what they earn, and to women what they earn. But ask God of His bounty. For God has full knowledge of all things.” (4:32). Muslim women work diligently on promoting social justice in all levels. They were actively engaged in the process of socioeconomic development of their societies. They became pioneers in establishing many social, educational and even political programs and institutions including schools, orphanages, hospitals, libraries, and other critical institutions. With this understanding, women became the conscience of society, to pinpoint what plagues the community and help in providing valuable solutions. In conclusion, cooperation and complementary gender relationships leads to the fulfillment of humankind’s mission on earth: the healthy partnership wilayyah[13]between men and women as khalifs[14]/vicegerents, stewards or God-agents on this earth. This mission should be maintained and enforced to help cleanse society from corruption and drive it towards peacefulness and purity. This is rather a long article but necessary to clear standing of man and woman in a society in any role, weather a husband or wife or as parents and also mankind’s role in the universe. The bottom line is “equality”. In the relationship of husband and wife responsibilities are given to both men and women men as protectors and caretakers Remember here by women, it does not mean just wife it also means children in the household. Therefore, it is a husband’s duty to provide for both his wife and his children. “It is because Allah has made some of them excel others with what they spend out of their wealth.” Allah has made men excel because they have been made duty bound to spend out of their wealth or money on them. ““so the good women are obedient”, so does it mean good women are obedient to their husbands? If you look at the phrase, obedience here is to God; that women should obey God’s instructions and God’s commands. You could argue that what the verse is saying is that men have been made maintainers of women because they are the ones who spend on their households etc., and therefore the wives should obey them unquestioningly. But here what God is telling that unquestioning obedience is due to God only. “guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded”. This means that wives should guard and protect their husband’s rights and secrets or information only a wife can possess in the same way as Allah guards secrets of mankind. The verse goes on to say: “And as to those on whose part you fear nashuz ”. The word used here is nashuz which means to hate or to rise up. The use of such a strong word actually means or shows that this is not a simple disagreement between the husband and the wife.This means there is a serious breach . So, what should you do if there is breach which is so serious. The first thing you should do is talk , establish a dialogue discuss the problem to come to some kind of agreement. If the wife cannot understand or see the issue or problem and the husband feels it is serious then The next thing the husband is asked to separate himself from the wife and sleep in a different room. This is a big step a husband takes that is he is physically separating himself from his wife.The seriousness of the situation should sink in, now the scene is set either to resolve the situation or to expand the separation . ( By the way this is modern day counseling which the quran had already prescribed). Now we come to final and crucial point. If the above attempts fail you “wa-dribu-hunna”. This is usually translated to mean that the husband should then hit or beat the wife. I fail to see how, when other means of reconciliation have failed, a beating is going to resolve the situation. Beating is not a solution; but 'striking them out' from your house is the best solution and fair too. Some of the possible meanings for both the words, are given below. Again, the appropriate meaning will depend on the context of the verse. Nushuz: Animosity, hostility, rebellion, ill-treatment, discord, violation of marital duties on the part of either husband or wife. Adriboo (root Daraba): to beat, to strike, to hit, to separate, to part etc. In the context of the above verse the most appropriate meaning for nushuz is 'marital discord' (ill-will, animosity etc), and that for 'adriboo' is 'to separate' or 'to part'. Otherwise it is inviting the likelihood of a divorce without any reconciliation procedure and this will contravene the Qur'anic guidance as shown in verse 4:35 below. The separation could be temporary or permanent depending on the reconciliation procedure, and this fits in very well with the divorce procedure outlined in the Qur'an (see 8.5). Therefore the more accurate translation of the above verse would be: Surah al Nisa 4:34 As for those women whose animosity or ill-will you have reason to fear, then leave them alone in bed, and then separate; and if thereupon they pay you heed, do not seek a way against them. The verse following the above verse gives further weight to the above translation. Surah al Nisa 4:35 And if ye fear a breach between them twain (the man and the wife), appoint an arbiter from his folk and an arbiter from her folk. If they desire amendment Allah will make them of one mind. Lo! Allah is ever knower, Aware. An added weight to the meanings outlined above is given by verse (4:128) quoted below, where in the case of a man the same word nushuz is used, but it is translated as 'ill-treatment' as against 'rebellion' in the case of a woman in verse 4:34. Surah al Nisa 4:128 If a wife fears ill-treatment (nushuz) or desertion on her husband's part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves; and such settlement is best. This obviously is a double standard and the only way to reconcile the meanings of the two verses, in the contexts they are being used, is to accept the meaning of adriboo as: 'to separate' or to 'part'.[/quote]
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