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AMby
PAKISTAN
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 Topic initiated on Friday, May 13, 2005 - 12:56 PM 
Marriage
Assalam o alykum,
hope all of u r fine ....i wanted to tell u the good news that i am getting married and i need a lot of duas now from all of u 
just tell me wats the secret of a happy married life...wat r the dos and the donts...
hope to hear from all of u soon
jazak Allah |
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ibrahim
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Friday, May 13, 2005 - 4:15 PM 
wa Alaikum us Salaam dear sister
yeah sure we r Fine. THANKS for sharing this Good news of your Marriage. Well our ALL prayers r with U & for u. plz Dont Worry in this regard.
hmmmmmmm Secrets of Happy MARRIED life ... i think, after 12yrs, NO SECRET. it depends on MANY MANY issues. BUT mostly on:
How well U both understand eachother
How much U both sacrify for eachother
& here in Pakistan there are TOO much problems that r created by OTHERS. I always think that mostly a MARRIED woman in PAK live a v v v TOUGH life.
I pray & hope too that God will SAVE u from all these problems. May u Both live a v happy life. God bless u both & be with U both aal the Time. Amen.
Well when this " incident" is going to take place & ...
HAHAHA |
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Roswell
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Friday, May 13, 2005 - 7:35 PM
Salaam Amby,
Posted by Amby
"i wanted to tell u the good news that i am getting married and i need a lot of duas now from all of u"
Wow, cool. If it's going to happen in the middle of June then sure I can join you in Lahore if you allow me to. Hehehe 
Posted by Amby
"just tell me wats the secret of a happy married life...wat r the dos and the donts..."
Here is my humble opinion. Whenever two person gather together, conflicts may arise. It's a natural phenomena. Now there are two ways, either eradicate this conflict from it's roots or reconcile. The first one means that there will be no conflicts further more which is almost impossible as I suppose. However, Islam teaches us the best solution to cope with such variances.
"And if a woman fears hostility or aversion in her husband, there is no fault in them (two), that they set things right between them; and right settlement is good; and souls are prone to avarice; and if you do good and be godfearing, God is aware of the things you do."
Surha Al-Nisa, 128
That means just avoid the dispute. This is the natural solution which can be adopted living with anyone including, the SAAS lol. I think one should be sacrificing and overrring his/her self-conceit, as you may have realized that the situation may become worse even if you are right, so adopt the Qur'an's way "Concilation is the best" - Qur'an That is the secret of life. sheeesh dont reveal it  . Anyway, my prayers are with you. May Allah showers all of his blessing upon you.
Regards, |
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Nauman
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Friday, May 13, 2005 - 8:50 PM
Text
As-Salaamu Alaikum Amby and congratulation on getting married.
I have also two top priorities in life; first job then getting married. Although I want it to be other way around; damn unemployment.
You have written: “just tell me wats the secret of a happy married life...wat r the dos and the donts...”
As you have guessed it by now that I do not have a first hand experience but still I have learnt a lot from my brother’s marriage. It is very interesting and informative to see a marriage relationship grow from the beginning; I mean for the one who is outside that relationship. So you being the wife of an educated man, I hope, I want you to remember this.
The man wants her wife to love him, cook good food for him and take care of his children; his top priority. One thing that he hates the most is his wife making issues for nothing and arguing him on baseless issues. Apart from that he is not interested in whatever the woman does; no matter she is a working or not. Be kind to his parents. This does not mean that you have to press their feet but don’t show them disrespect.
Last but certainly not least at all, at your own discretion; get the column number 14, if I am right, of the marriage contract filled.
Have a very happy married Life.
[I am not sure whether to write 'With lots of children'. So I leave it here] |
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Loveall
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Friday, May 13, 2005 - 9:45 PM
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.
HAPPY MARRIAGE TO BOTH OF YOU…
By the reply of brother Ibrahim I came to know that you are our sister. After putting the hand of love on you head our all prayers are with you. May you live long and be happy whole of your life, Aameen!
Different men are different. In general, try to understand the psychology of your husband and then make him happy accordingly, if possible, for the same returning reward, Insh’allah.
Wssalam with the saying of God:
And the believing men and the believing women, they are guardians of each other (9: 71). |
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AMby
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Saturday, May 14, 2005 - 9:15 AM
Assalam o alykum,
thanx for all ur duas as i know i will need them knowing that life is not a bed of roses....i am soo apprehensive as i c soo many couples sad and soo many married girls suffering coz of one thing or the other....and all of them say nearly one thing that its impossible to understand a man
so wat do men say to that ????? |
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ibrahim
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Sunday, May 15, 2005 - 4:21 PM
wa Salaam
Dear Sis, 1st of all plz keep in mind that "this worldly LIFE is a TEST 4 US whether We're Happy OR sad, Poor OR rich etc. etc. etc."
2ndly, Allah; our kind Lord Does not OVERBURDEN us. Our Test is always IN ACCORD with our capability & capacity.
Married life is NO DOUBT may become a TOUGH test 4 some 1 BUT then there will be MORE chances of Getting MORE reward from GOD & of getting a BETTER place in the Heaven. What MORE u WANT?
So plz Don't WORRY. Just Pray for an Easier Married Life, Learn from Our Experiences & Get ready MENTALLY for ALL kind of Sacrifices. If u'll do that, I DO hope that a v v v HAPPY & PLEASENT life FULL of LOVE will WAIT for U. (khuda na khwasta koee Problem ho THEN do not hazitate & Come to US. we're always PRESENT for ALL kind of assistance)
"Roswell" & "Loveall" & All others have Come up w v good POINTS. Plz take care of them.
hmmmmmm SIS, if I, as a man, will say that "Its IMPOSSIBLE to understand a WOMAN" then HOW U'll defend it. (I can Even ADD that "its Impossible to keep the WIFE happy ALL the time" then ...)
So THROW away this topic from ur MIND & just CONCENTRATE on ur Life partner ie. his Thinking, Choices, Prefrences and likes & dislikes etc.
&
TRY TO TAKE CARE OF THEM AS MUCH AS U CAN.
The MORE u'll do it I Guarantee more EASY will be ur life, in sha Allah. ARE u READY 4 IT? i do hope U r.
God Bless u & Be w U all the time. Amen
Regards
(well what u say about "Roswell's PROPOSAL" 4 lahories Bro & Sis to join U???) |
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Loveall
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Sunday, May 15, 2005 - 10:28 PM
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.
QUOTE: i am soo apprehensive as i c soo many couples sad and soo many married girls suffering coz of one thing or the other.... and all of them say nearly one thing that its impossible to understand a man.
In my previous reply I said, “In general, try to understand the psychology of your husband” and perhaps your girl friends are pointing out the matter in this context.
So far as psychology of the husband is concerned, I meant nothing special but to understand his “likes” and “dislikes” only.
In general NEVER hear to those who give you some tip which you asses (before applying) it to be irritating your husband.
So far as the rights are concerned, mother of the husband is right who had born and brought him up and the wife is also right who has been handed over to him to live and die with him. The problem, which arises, is nothing but the clash between the two true LOVEs. The problems may be solved if the mother looks seriously at her retrospectives when she was not a mother - just a wife and the wife looks seriously at her perspectives when she will be a mother not only a wife. When these two thinkings gather at one place I hope these two shades of God, under the feet of home lies paradise - said by the Holy Prophet (Peace be upon him), must make a home a paradise.
The suspiciousness, in general, is one of the roots of the problems. Please see below what God says:
“When you received it with your tongues and spoke with your mouths what you had no knowledge of, and you deemed it an easy matter while with Allah it was grievous? And why did you not, when you heard it, say: It does not beseem us that we should talk of it; glory be to Thee! This is a great calumny? (24: 15, 16)”
NOTE: Do not worry; the understanding of “likes”, “dislikes” etc is not only for you but he as well. The only difference is because man is dominant in the society and a woman has to sacrifice more. |
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Nauman
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Monday, May 16, 2005 - 12:50 PM
As-Salaamu Alaikum.
You have written: “many married girls suffering coz of one thing or the other....and all of them say nearly one thing that its impossible to understand a man so wat do men say to that ?????”
What I feel from this comment of your is that you seems to be a typical Pakistani girl who is needlessly afraid of one of the best blessing in human life. I think a woman, as well as man, should be delighted to start a new type of life.
There is one distinct feature about men and women different. Men are less sensitive as compare to women. So obviously the insensitivity also goes towards their wives. This dos not mean in any way that they dislike their wives now. The romantic phase of beginning married life is withered a little.
Women, on the other hand, are very sensitive. This causes them to exaggerate the issues at hand. In return the negative thinking causing them to torture themselves unnecessarily.
I always believe that men should not gaze at other women and women should not overreact at small matters. I also believe that most of the women’ problems are created by themselves due to mishandling of their matters.
There is nothing to be afraid about. In couple of months, if one deals with wisdom setting aside one emotions, form an excellent relation with a spouse that last forever. Of course the relation should be of love and not pretense.
I do not know how much this help you but still that’s what I think is the right way.
May Lord Bless You With A Happy Married Life.
[Unfortunately I cannot ask you what others are asking; I am writing this from Karachi] |
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Roswell
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Monday, May 16, 2005 - 5:17 PM
Well, I'm from Karachi too. I'll be on the tour de Pakistan this summer Insh'Allah  
Edited by: roswell on Monday, May 16, 2005 5:25 PM |
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Nauman
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Tuesday, May 17, 2005 - 11:00 AM
As-Salaamu Alaikum.
Well, well, well. Now we have 'Roswell Ka Pakistan'.
By the way it is George [Bush] Ka Pakistan. |
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Roswell
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Wednesday, May 18, 2005 - 5:37 AM
| LMAO, hahah literally rolling on the floor lollllllllllllllllllllll |
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AMby
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Wednesday, May 18, 2005 - 12:38 PM
thanx all of u for such nice suggestions..u r most welcome if u can make it..the date is 10th june ...the place has yet to be finalized....
so do pray for me
Jazak Allah |
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Nauman
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Friday, May 20, 2005 - 12:36 PM
As-Salaamu Alaikum.
At your fervor request:
RAJA PAKISTANI is Chaudhary Shujaat and
MUNDA BIGRHA JOY is General Sahib. |
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AMby
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 8:23 AM
Assalam o alykum.
just one more question do u think that a hubby should be told that the wife loves him ??????? |
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Roswell
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Saturday, May 21, 2005 - 6:53 PM
DUH DUH, OF COURSE but this "confession" is recommended after marraige..............
I think, as a boy, this 3 words "I love you" when frequently used by spouse, doesnt reflect the actuall love or intentions. You have to prove it when some situation comes around. I want to extend the answer but this would not be appropriate. Anyway,
You are too exicited lol its normal,
just wait and see ;)
Edited by: roswell on Saturday, May 21, 2005 6:55 PM |
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