| Author | Topic |
mehwish
UNITED KINGDOM
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 Topic initiated on Monday, June 15, 2009 - 12:57 PM 
NEED YOUR HELP PLEASE
ASLAM-O-ALAIKUM:
It's my husband,he don't read namaz at all ,don't keep fast in ramzaan even don't go for Jumma namaz to the mosque, even though he is sitting home doing nothing important.I really want him to do all that I read my all namazes ,try to keep all my fasts.So here you see it's not that I want HIM to do all that I'm doing as well.He didn't read QURAAN in his childhood so that was his parents fault or may be that is the case he is not close to his religion ,but I just want to know what can I do to force him for all this.
please help me
thank you
Edited by: mehwish on Monday, June 15, 2009 12:57 PM
Edited by: mehwish on Monday, June 15, 2009 1:06 PM |
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lofty
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Monday, June 15, 2009 - 7:33 PM 
Don't cook him any food .....
Your job is only to invite him to Islam with wisdom and beautiful preaching. If he does not take heed, you will not be held responsible for his misdeeds.
"Invite to the Way of your Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious." Quran 16:125 |
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mehwish
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Tuesday, June 16, 2009 - 2:25 PM
| if i just stop cooking food for him how he will do what i want for him,i think if i do that it will increase the tension between us .is there any other way for that |
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hkhan
UNITED KINGDOM
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 Posted - Wednesday, June 17, 2009 - 9:43 AM
 invite him to read our courses with u
salam |
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mehwish
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Wednesday, June 17, 2009 - 11:39 AM
quote:
Well, I am surprised you are concerned about the tension between two of you. Majority of women treat their husbands as slaves, you should do the same. I suggest you beat the hell out of him if he does not listen to you. He deserves that beating because he married with his own consent (remember Qabool hai, Qabool hai, Qabool hai).
Or
Follow Quran's advice:
"Invite to the Way of your Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious." Quran 16:125
Now you can either follow my advice or Quran's advice, you choose .....
First let me tell you i'm not agree what you are saying about wives i think that opposite here .we are the ones who treated like salves,we do all our house works,cook food for all family ,look after the kids and sacrifice all our desires for our husband and kids but still then THE MEN not happy with us at all.Even though you and me both knows that what we can do and what we are doing you can't do in hundred years because ALLAH gives us more patience than you.
and second i have asked your honest opinion and there is NOTHING to make a JOKE on.
Edited by: mehwish on Wednesday, June 17, 2009 11:41 AM
Edited by: mehwish on Wednesday, June 17, 2009 11:41 AM |
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lofty
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Wednesday, June 17, 2009 - 1:05 PM
Well, what I have seen men are treated as slaves. If you don't want my advice, don't take it. I never thought you will ---------so soon, now I feel sorry for poor man. Follow the Quran or Henna's advice, you can just ignore my messages. In fact I will delet my post above if it annoys you.
a couple of unacceptable words have been deleted from this post..kindly try & keep a friendly atmosphere(moderator  )
Edited by: hkhan on Thursday, June 18, 2009 12:50 AM |
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shah_625
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Wednesday, June 17, 2009 - 5:59 PM
@lofty
Please I think this is not the place to joke around. I don't know in which circle do you live where all men are henpecks. The sister is certainly going through difficult times and I think instead of giving constructive suggestions, your tone has a sense of sarcasm. Kindly do not be offended.
@mehwish
Sister the first approach you have to adopt is no forcing. You can't force him to do anything. Like lofty qouted the verse of the Glorious Quran "Invite to the Way of your Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious." Quran 16:125
You need to talk to him openly about this matter, before you do anything you first need to know why your husband has such an attitude. You have to listen to his reasoning, what stops him from fullfilling his duties, let him fully express himself.
I'm just giving you an idea from where to start, of course it may sound stupid, but I'm just trying to help with full sincerity.
Edited by: shah_625 on Wednesday, June 17, 2009 6:00 PM |
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aboosait
INDIA
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Posted - Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 3:01 AM
quote:
hkhan Moderator UNITED KINGDOM Posted - Wednesday, June 17, 2009 - 9:43 AM 8)]invite him to read our courses with u
salam
Mehwish,
Iviting him would not be difficult but I dont think he would agree so easily.
I think you should read the courses yourself, understand the methodology followd by the cousrse and if you find in it anything that you have not tried on him yet, apply the same on your husband later. |
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mehwish
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Friday, June 19, 2009 - 5:38 PM
quote:
@lofty
Please I think this is not the place to joke around. I don't know in which circle do you live where all men are henpecks. The sister is certainly going through difficult times and I think instead of giving constructive suggestions, your tone has a sense of sarcasm. Kindly do not be offended.
@mehwish
Sister the first approach you have to adopt is no forcing. You can't force him to do anything. Like lofty qouted the verse of the Glorious Quran "Invite to the Way of your Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious." Quran 16:125
You need to talk to him openly about this matter, before you do anything you first need to know why your husband has such an attitude. You have to listen to his reasoning, what stops him from fullfilling his duties, let him fully express himself.
I'm just giving you an idea from where to start, of course it may sound stupid, but I'm just trying to help with full sincerity.
Edited by: shah_625 on Wednesday, June 17, 2009 6:00 PM
Thank you so much MR.shah for understanding my problem and reply me in such a good and polite way.I was hoping sensible people like you on this form but any way there are all sort of people in the world.I have spoken to him about that and I told him how does it feel to me if he don't read namaz.His only excuse all the time 'I will do it' so every thing rely on I will .He is going to be 40 this year and I told him you can't rely on tomorrow.It's not that he don't want to but he is lazy he said 'i can't go for JUMMA namaz.I don't know how to read.' and then i said if you don't go you wont be able to know at all we have 2 sons , obviously they going to follow him so thats my another concern.
what shell i do
Edited by: mehwish on Friday, June 19, 2009 10:47 PM |
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shah_625
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Monday, June 22, 2009 - 2:42 AM
Sister I think your husband wants to offer salat but what keeps him from doing it is that he doesn't know how to. He would feel embarrassed going to the mosque because he would be thinking what people will say if they find he doesn't know how to offer salat.
Like you said it is his upbringing which is responsible for all this so tell him he shouldn't feel bad about it. But since he's a fully matured man having the sense of right and wrong it is incumbent upon him to fullfill the duties assigned by Allah.
You can present him a good book on salat. But since this is the age of internet you can sit with him and read the following articles as a good guide.
http://www.monthly-renaissance.com/issue/content.aspx?id=45
http://www.monthly-renaissance.com/issue/content.aspx?id=64
Remember to take it slow, you can't expect a change overnight. Don't overdo, meaning don't get after him so much that he gets irritated. Always be polite show love and care when you try to explain to him.
I hope it helps, may Allah guide your husband and we all to the right path. |
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mehwish
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Wednesday, June 24, 2009 - 1:07 PM
Thank you brother for your reply.
you are totally right he is thinking of people more than thinking what ALLAH (SUBHAN-O-TALLAH) thinking about him.which make me very angry i printed out the instruction of salat for him so he can try,i told him i'll help you when ever you need even he bought the book about how to perform the salat by himself and now it's sitting in the book self for ages never read it and even try to .he read few salats in ramzaan so here you can say he can read it and perform it but why he can't read regularly.
what shell i do then
Edited by: mehwish on Wednesday, June 24, 2009 1:09 PM |
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shah_625
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Wednesday, June 24, 2009 - 3:14 PM
Sister relax, like I said you can't expect a sudden change overnight. Don't be angry with him, be calm and make him feel you understand his situation. Tell himThe prayer occupies great importance in a Muslim’s life and is the foremost manifestation of one’s faith. Its objective is to remember God. People tend to forget Him and the prayer reminds them of a superior Being before whom they must submit and consign their matters. They must thank Him on His favours and ask for guidance from Him.
You must also remember that it is the farz rakat which is obligatory. On the day of judgement it is these farz rakat about which we will be questioned, not the sunnah and nafl are not obligatory. So you should tell him to start off with these farz.
It is not expected of him to start offerring all five salat everyday immediately. Tell him to start of with just one but what he should concentrate on is it's meaning. Most of the Muslims who offer salat are unaware of it's meaning and they just offer for the sake of it which is reflected in their day to day dealings.
You yourself should understand the meanings of the utterances in salat and make him also understand them.
So even if he offers one prayer each day but he offers it with understanding it will produce very good results. And soon Inshallah he'll become punctual.
Hopefully this helps. |
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hkhan
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Thursday, June 25, 2009 - 12:31 AM
our you-tube talks should be better for mehwish and her husband instead of renaissance articles straightaway~the standard of which is a bit higher than the english sr. mehwish seems to be acquainted with;
check out; both in eng. & urdu, on our home page on various basic and other topics.
sala'm |
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aboosait
INDIA
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Posted - Thursday, June 25, 2009 - 3:11 AM
quote:
........... prayer .......... is the foremost manifestation of one’s faith. ............
That would mean that you should begin at the begining point, ie., faith.
I. Tell him about Our Creed -
Belief in Allah's Lordship, Oneness, and Attributes Allah's Will Universal and Legal - More of Allah's Attributes - Describing Allah by His Revelation.
2. Tell him about The Qur'an and Sunnah - Sources of Allah's Attributes - Free From Contradictions.
3. Tell him about Angels - Belief - Angel's Functions.
4. Tell him about Allah's Books - Belief - Books Known - The Qur'an Is Protected from Change - Previous Scriptures Changed.
5. Tell him about the Messengers - Belief - The First and Last Messengers - The Best Messengers - Messengers are Human Beings - Islam The Universal and Final Message - Rightly Guided Caliphs ~ The Prophet's Companions
6. Tell him about The Day of Judgment
Belief - The Resurrection - The Records and Scales - The Prophet's Intercession - The Prophet's Pool - The Straight Path - Paradise and Hell - What Happens in the Grave
7. Tell him about Fate and the Divine Decree - Belief - Levels of Belief - Man's Free Will - No Excuse for Sinners - Evil Not Attributable to Allah
8. And in the end tell him about the Benefits - Virtues of Belief in Allah - Virtues of Belief in Angels - Virtues of Belief in Books - Virtues of Belief in Messengers - Virtues of Belief in Day of Judgment Virtues of Belief in Fate. |
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aboosait
INDIA
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Posted - Thursday, June 25, 2009 - 3:55 AM
quote:
I. Tell him about Our Creed -
Belief in Allah's Lordship, Oneness, and Attributes Allah's Will Universal and Legal - More of Allah's Attributes - Describing Allah by His Revelation.
Our creed is to believe in Allah, His Angels, His Books, His Messengers, the Day of Judgment, and Fate whether good or bad.
Belief in Allah's Lordship, Oneness, and Attributes:
We believe in Allah's divinity; that is he is the Lord, the Creator, the Sovereign, and the Manager of all affairs.
We believe in Allah's godship; that is, He is the true God and every other so-called deity is false.
We believe in His names and attributes, that is He has the most magnificent names and the sublime perfect attributes.
We believe in His oneness in all of this, that is, He has no associate in His divinity, His God ship, His names, or His attributes. Allah says in the Qur'an:quote:
"He is the Lord of the heavens and the Earth and all that is in between them, so worship Him and be patient in His worship; do you know any equal to Him?" (19:65).
We believe that He is quote:
"Allah there is no God but He, the Living, the Everlasting. Slumber does not seize Him, neither sleep; to Him belongs all that is in the heavens and the Earth. Who is there that shall intercede with Him except by His permission? He knows what is before them and what is behind them, and they do not encompass anything of His knowledge except what He wills. His throne extends over the heavens and the Earth, the preservation of them does not burden Him; He is the High, the Great" (2:255).
We believe that quote:
"He is Allah, there is no god but He, the Knower of the Unseen and the Visible. He is the Most Gracious, Most Merciful. He is Allah, there is no God but He, the King, the Holy One, the Source of Peace, the Keeper of Faith, the Guardian, the Almighty, the Subduer, the Sublime. Glory be to Allah above what they associate with Him. He is Allah, the Creator, the Maker, the Shaper. His are the most beautiful Names. All that is in the heavens and the Earth glorifies Him. He is the Almighty, the Wise" (59:22-4).
We believe that to Him belongs the Kingdom of the Heavens and the Earth:quote:
"He creates what He pleases. He gives, to whom He wills, females, and He gives, to whom He wills, males, or He couples them, males and females; and He makes whom He wills barren. Surely, He is the Knowing, the Powerful" (42:49-50).
We believe thatquote:
"there is nothing whatever like unto Him, He is the All-hearing, the All-seeing. To Him belongs the keys of the Heavens and the Earth. He enlarges and restricts provisions to whom He wills. Surely He has knowledge of everything" (42:11-12).
We believe thatquote:
"there is no creature that moves on the Earth but its provision depends on Allah. He knows its dwelling and its resting place. All is recorded in a clear book" (11:6).
We believe that quote:
"with Him are the keys of the unseen; none knows them but He. He knows what is in land and sea; not a leaf falls, but He knows it. Not a grain in the deep darkness of the Earth, not a thing green or dry but it is in a clear Book" (6 :5 9 ).
We believe thatquote:
"Allah alone has the knowledge of the Hour, sends down rain, and knows what is in the wombs. No soul knows what it shall earn tomorrow, and no soul knows in what land it shall die. Surely, Allah is All-knowing, All-aware" (31:34).
We believe that Allah speaks whatever He pleases whenever He pleases:quote:
"And Allah spoke to Moses directly" (4:164); "And when Moses came at Our appointed place, and his Lord spoke to him" (7:143 ); "We called to him from the right side of the Mount (Sinai), and We brought him near in communion" (19:52).
We believe thatquote:
"if the ocean became ink for the words of my Lord, the ocean would be finished before the words of my Lord came to an end" (18:109); "And if all the trees that are in the earth were pens, and the ocean (were ink), with seven oceans swelling it therefore, the words of Allah would not be exhausted. Surely, Allah is Mighty, Wise" (31 :27).
We believe that Allah's words are the most truthful in conveying information, the most just in ruling, and the fairest in conversation. He said:quote:
"The word of your Lord has been fulfilled in truth and justice" (6:115); "And who is more truthful in his word than Allah?" (4:87).
We believe that the Qur'an is Allah's word. He literally spoke it to Gabriel, who conveyed it to the Prophet, peace be upon him:quote:
"Say (O Muhammad) 'the Holy Spirit has brought it down from your Lord in truth"' (16:102); "Truly it is the revelation of the Lord of the world brought down upon your heart by the Faithful Spirit so that you may be one of the warners, in a clear Arabic tongue" (26:192-95).
We believe that Allah is well above His creatures in His Person and His Attributes, because He says: quote:
"He is the High, the Great" (2:22); "He is Supreme over His servants, and He is the Wise, the All-aware" (6:18 ).
We believe that Hequote:
"created the Heavens and the Earth in six days, then He settled Himself on the throne; He manages everything" (10:3).
His "settling on the throne" means that He is sitting in person on His throne in a way that is becoming to His majesty and greatness. Nobody except He knows exactly how He is sitting.
We believe that He is with His creatures while He is still on His throne. He knows their conditions, hears their sayings, sees their deeds, and manages their affairs. He provides for the poor and the broken.
He gives sovereignty to whom He pleases and takes away sovereignty from whom He pleases; He exalts whom He wills and He abases whom He wills. In His hand is all good and He is powerful over everything. Whoever possesses these qualities is literally with His creatures even if He is literally above them on His throne.quote:
"There is nothing whatsoever like unto Him; He is the All-hearing, the All-seeing" (42: 11).
We do not say, as do the Incarnationists among the Jahamites and others, that Allah is living with His creatures on Earth. We consider whoever says this a non-believer or one who has strayed, for he attributed to Allah that which does not become Him of defects.
We believe in what His Messenger told us, that He descends to the near sky before the last third of every night and says:/blue]quote:
"Who prays to Me and I will answer his prayers? Who asks Me and I will give him? Who asks My forgiveness and I will forgive him?" (Bukhari and Muslim).
We believe that He will come on the Day of Judgment to judge among His people because He said:quote:
"No indeed! When the Earth is crushed to powder, and your Lord comes down with the angels in rows after rows, and Hell is brought out that day. On that day man will remember, but what will remembrance avail him?" (89:21-23).
We believe that he is the Doer of what He wills.
Allah's Will: Universal and Legal"
We believe that His will is of two kinds: a) Universal will, through which His intention is carried out. It is not necessary that what is carried out is liked by Him. This type of will means permission, as Allah said:quote:
"Had Allah willed, they would not have fought one against the other, but Allah does whatever He desires," (2:253) and "If Allah desires to lead you astray, He is your Lord" (11:34), and b) Legal will, which does not necessarily entail the execution of His desire. His will, in this case, cannot be but what He likes, as He said: "Allah wants to forgive you" (4:27).
We believe that His universal and legal wills are part of His wisdom. Every thing He performs in the universe or requires legally from His creatures is for a good reason and according to His wisdom, whether we grasp it or not:quote:
"Is not Allah the best of Judges?" (95:8); "And who is better than Allah in judgment for a people who have firm faith" (5:50).
We believe that Allah loves His select servants and that they love Him: quote:
"Say if you love Allah, follow me and Allah will love you" (3:31); "Allah will bring a people whom He will love and who will love Him" (5:54); "Allah loves the steadfast" (3:146); "And act justly, surely, Allah loves the just" (49:9); and "Do good; Allah loves those who do good" (5:93).
We believe that Allah likes what He prescribed of good deeds and sayings and He dislikes what He prohibited of bad deeds and sayings:quote:
"If you disbelieve, surely Allah does not need you, yet He does not like disbelief for His servants; if you are thankful, this pleases Him"(39:7); and "But Allah disliked their marching forth. So He kept them back, and it was said to them: 'Stay with the weaklings"(9: 46).
We believe that Allah is pleased with those who believe in Him and do good deeds:quote:
"Allah is well pleased with them and they are well pleased with Him. That is for him who fears his Lord" (98:8).
We believe that Allah is angry with those who deserve His anger among the non-believers and others:quote:
"And those who think evil thoughts of Allah, against them shall be the evil turn of fortune. Allah is angry with them" (48:6); "But whoever opens his heart to disbelief, on them is Allah's wrath and they shall have a severe punishment" (16:106).
More of Allah's Attributes:
We believe that Allah has a glorious and dignified face:quote:
"There will remain the face of your Lord, majestic and splendid" (55:27).
We believe that Allah has two generous hands:quote:
"No, both His hands are wide open; He spends how He pleases" (5:64);
quote:
"They do not esteem Allah with the esteem that is due to Him. The whole Earth will be His handful on the Day of Resurrection, and the Heavens will be rolled up in His right hand. Glory be to Him and exalted is He above that which they associate with Him" (39:67).
We believe that Allah possesses two real eyes, because He said:quote:
"And build the ark under Our eyes as We reveal" (11:37).
The Prophet, peace be upon him, said:quote:
"His veil is light. Had He removed it, the sublimity of His countenance would have burnt all that His sight reached"
(Muslim and Ibn Majah). The Sunnites unanimously have agreed that He has two eyes. This is supported by the Prophet's saying about the Dajjal (the anti-Christ) thatquote:
"he is one-eyed and your Lord is not one-eyed" (Bukhari and Muslim).
We believe thatquote:
"vision cannot perceive Him, but He perceives all vision. He is the Incomprehensible, the All-aware" (6:103).
We believe that the believers will see their Lord on the Day of Resurrection:quote:
"Upon that day some faces shall be radiant, gazing upon their Lord" (75:22-3).
We believe that Allah has no equal because His Attributes are perfect:quote:
"There is nothing whatsoever like unto Him. He is the All-hearing, the All-seeing" (42:11).
We believe that quote:
"no slumber or sleep seizes Him" (2:255),
because His life is perfect and eternal.
We believe that He does not do injustice to anybody, because His fairness is perfect.
We believe that He is not unaware of his servants' deeds, because He has perfect supervision and comprehensive knowledge.
We believe that He is capable of doing anything in the Heavens or in the Earth, because of His perfect knowledge and power:quote:
"Indeed His command, when He desires a thing, is only to say to it 'Be' and it is" (36: 82).
We believe that He is free from weariness and weakness, because of His infinite power:quote:
"Surely, We created the Heavens and the Earth and all that is between them in six days, and no weariness touched Us" (50: 38).
Describing Allah by His Revelation:
We believe in all that He assigned to Himself or what His Messenger described Him with, of names and attributes. However, we reject two concepts: 1) To say or believe that Allah's attributes are similar to those of his creatures; and 2) To say or believe that Allah's attributes are like such and such.
We negate all what He negated about Himself or what His Messenger negated about Him. We believe that negation implies the affirmation of its perfect opposite. We do not discuss what He or His Messenger did not mention about Him.
We believe that following this approach is a must, because what Allah affirmed or negated concerning Himself is a statement He made about Himself. He knows Himself best. His words are most just and trustful, and people cannot know everything about Him. What Allah's Messenger affirmed or negated about Him is a statement that he made about Allah. Besides knowing Allah better than anyone, he is the most truthful, sincere, and eloquent among people. Thus, in what Allah said and what His Prophet said concerning His names and attributes is the truth, knowledge, and clarification. Therefore, we have no excuse to reject or even hesitate in accepting it. |
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mehwish
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Thursday, June 25, 2009 - 9:51 AM
slaam brother hkhan:
can you please give the the link for that talks.i really appreciated that.
thank you |
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