| Author | Topic |
AMby
PAKISTAN
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 Posted - Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 8:04 PM 
Assalam o alykum,
yes u r right that teenage is an age in which u just frolick around and focus on enjoying life..and this idea too is given by west ... they portray them as like u said careless whose only aim in life is to enjoy or to make boyfriends...
the other day i was talking to a teenager and asked her opinion abt all this and she said that the parents role is very important in everything they should give bonus points to kids if they behave well and if they score well in exams and give them some responsibility and tell them that r responsible young people...who r now accountable for their actions ..
friend |
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hkhan
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Thursday, October 23, 2003 - 11:15 PM
peace
i also think that whatever we pass on to them as kids, being role model parents and verbally, that forms strong base in young/flexible age
therefore even if they r exposed to different right as well as wrong happenings around them, which can b so unavoidable sp. in todays fast track media age; around their teenage, insha'Allah they wud b able to differentiate right from wrong with the help of Allah and their parents' prayers for them as well as the hard work the parents did to convey the Truth to them, since even before they were borne
however as a senior friend of mine who is a teacher by profession said recently that children r like plants
its as important to look after the plant all the way through that its in right temperature, water conditions, plant food etc. all the way through untill it holds v. strongly to the ground with its strong roots
as it is to sow the seed in the right/favourable ground
i do agree with the fact re. encouragin' them for what ever little good they do or stand for with words like well done, masha'Allah, wait a go, u r a star, brilliant, subhan'Allah, fantastic, etc.
and also with such an important body language by huggin' and kissin' them, even if they r taller that us now and even if its a son or a daughter
for some reason we muslims have just made up these rituals of keepin' distance from our children of growin' age sp. if they r of opposite sex
this just expands gaps
we know our beloved Mohammad sws used to hug and kiss children bein' so gentle and kind to them
open to comments
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AMby
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Wednesday, October 29, 2003 - 6:59 PM
When planning activities for youth, you must keep in mind the fact that all youth are not
interested in the same things. There will be some youth who are interested in having
Islamic study circles where they learn about the Qur"an, Seerah, etc. It is likely however
that a larger amount of youth would like to participate in social events such as basketball
games, dinners, etc. As leader of your youth group you have to know how to balance
these activities by planning social activities where Muslims can meet each other and at
the same time placing importance on acquiring Islamic knowledge. If we look at the life of
the Prophet, there were activities that all the Muslims participated in. Participation in
battles, building the masjid, going to Friday prayer required a strong commitment to
Islam. The strong and the weak Muslim alike however could fulfill these duties. However
other activites required an enormous dedication to pleasing Allah. Staying awake
throughout the night in prayer, giving all of ones wealth in the path of Allah or even
brushing the teeth everyday, were activities not required of all Muslims. The Prophet,
saws, encouraged all to do these things, but understood the different levels of spiritual
development in his community. The majority of the people need time to develop before
they start activities that require a great deal of taqwaah to do.
LEVEL ONE: In the Triangle Model, the bottom layer is activities for the largest number of
peopIeTThose are activites that are enjoyable by all levels of the community. They satisfy
the need for social interaction with other Muslims and build the brotherhood or sisterhood
in the youth group. These activities are structured according to the Quran and the
Sunnah (no unsupervised intermingling between members of the opposite sex, for
example.) Since these activites attract the largest amount of people, they should be your
most publicized events. During these activites, you must try to attract people to activities
in level two or above. The more the youth are willing to come to higher levels of
commitment, the stronger your youth group will become, inshaAllah. examples:
dinners/iftars, sports events, eid festivals, demonstrations, after jummah lunches.
LEVEL TWO: Once the spark of interest has been lighted in a young Muslim, you must
do your very best to involve him or her in higher level activities. Level two activities
require a little more commitment of their time and resources. However these activities are
still fun for the majority of youth, examples: bake sales, Islamic culture fairs, masjid
cleaning/recycling project, selling t-shirts, Islamic tapes etc.,
LEVEL THREE, This level requires a bit more commitment and knowledge about Islam.
Activities in this level are designed for members who have a growing interest in seeing
Islam prosper among the youth as well as the community at large. These activites also
give the youth a chance to do thing that are encouraged in Islam, examples:
presentations in highschools, distribution of information about Islam, sponsoring orphans,
feeding the homeless, lectures on "hot" topics- marriage, women, politics, etc.
LEVEL FOUR, Activities for youth who wish to increase their Islamic knowledge are the
main focus of level four. These activities are very beneficial not only for those youth who
are interested but for the members of the executive board of your youth group as well as
adults who wish to build ther knowledge of Islam, examples: lecturs on tafseer, aqeedah,
seerah, etc, memorization competetions, interfaith meetings.
LEVEL EIVE, This is the highest level of commitment. Most often 5% or less of the
members of your youth group attend these activites. These activities should be very
useful to the members of the leadership. As a leader, you should try to participate in
these activities to the best of your ability and constantly encourage others to participate.
examples: Islamic all-nighters, Tarbiyyah /halaqah program, intensive arable courses,
intensive courses in Islamic sciences. This triangle model gives you a basic idea of the
types of activities you should have and the number of people you should expect for them.
This model, however, will vary from community to community...An effective youth group
will be able to cater to the needs of these different groups."
friend |
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hkhan
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Friday, October 31, 2003 - 11:13 AM
assalamoalaykum/peace
jazak'Allah dearest br/sr amby for taking so much time to pass on, indeed a very useful information
may Allah bless ur time
i think we present participants shud post as many topics under discussion as possible to our friends and known ones so that more people can benefit besides us and participate as well perhaps
nowadays in Ramadan/Ramzan as well its very important time for our teenagers to join in events like taraweeh, iftar gatherings etc. therefore wherever possible we must try to attend these as families encouraginng them to get into the habit of listening to the blesses Words as much as possible,
and not just leavig taraweeh as a ritual to male members of the household and rest of the family spending /wastig time on tele.(vision, phone) etc
which is usually the norm in our muslim countries specially (no offence pls. just a general mention)
sisters can try in their own areas and request their men to struggle to get a portion for them in local mosques where they can also go with their children
open to comments
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AMby
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Friday, October 31, 2003 - 6:32 PM
Assalam o alykum,
yes u r right that as ramadan comes only once a year we shouldnt waste our time in it and focus on ibadah.... here in pakistan now during ramadan Daura e Quran is done for women as well as for young girls both in english and in urdu so that just go through the translation of Quran once with little bit of tafseer of ayats relating to ahkam and social laws ...
friend |
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AMby
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Friday, October 31, 2003 - 6:36 PM
and also one thing that young teenage girls and boys both should be encouraged to ask questions as this is the age when their mind is full of questions abt religion as they r growing up and maturing ....
friend |
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AMby
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Monday, November 3, 2003 - 9:11 PM
12 Tips for Muslim Youth
Why should you, a young Muslim, be helping to bring your friends closer to Allah?
After all, you've got your own struggles to deal with: trying to explain why you pray to hostile teachers, Hijab discrimination, standing up in class when the professor attacks Islam, dealing with parents who think you've gone nuts because you're growing a beard, or all the other difficulties faced by a number of practicing Muslim youth?
Islam was never meant to be an individualistic faith, reserved for the "chosen few". Muslims have a duty to spread the Deen, and practicing Muslim youth, whether beginners, activists or leaders have a crucial role to play.
"Allah has put them in a position that perhaps no one else is in," notes Sheema Khan, former Muslim Youth of North America (MYNA) advisor for eastern Canada. "They have the means to communicate with their peers, they have an understanding of what they're going through plus they have the guidance of Islam."
Who is your childhood friend, who would rather spend Fridays at MacDonald's than the Masjid, or your classmate who is Muslim in name and only knows that "Muslims don't eat pork" going to listen to: the nice Imam of the Masjid who would freak out if he saw the way they were dressed and talked or you who may have grown up with them, joked with them, or see them everyday in school?
The answer is obvious: you.
Don't panic. Here are some tips and advice which can help from other Muslims, many of whom have been there and done that:
Tip #1: Make your intention sincere
All work we do should ideally be for the sake of Allah. That includes the task of bringing someone closer to Allah. That of course means this should not be connected to arrogance, thinking you're the teacher and everyone else should be lucky you've embarked on a crusade to save them. Guidance is from Allah. Make Dua and make sincere efforts and remember Allah can also misguide you if He wills (we seek refuge in Allah from that).
Tip #2: Practice what you preach
Not practicing what you preach is wrong and you will lose the confidence of anyone, young or old, once they figure you out. Don't do it.
Tip #3: Use the Qur'an and Seerah (biography of the Prophet) as Dawa guides
Read and understand those chapters of the Qur'an which talk about how the Prophets presented the message of Islam to their people. Read the Seerah (for some good Seerah books) to see especially how the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) brought Islam to so many different people, including young people.
As well, talk to Dawa workers, and check out books that have been written on introducing dawa to non Muslims
Tip #4: Talk to people as if you really don't know them
Don't assume you know someone just by looking at them. You don't know that the Muslim girl in your homeroom who walks through the school's hallways as if they were fashion show catwalks is not someone you can talk to about Allah because she looks like a snob. Or that the Muslim guy who you've never seen at Jumah at your university is a "bad Muslim". Maybe he was never really taught Islam and has no idea what importance Friday prayers have in Islam, especially for Muslim men.
Tip #5: Smile
Did you know the Prophet was big on smiling? But many "practicing" Muslims seem to have "their faces on upside down" as one speaker once said-frowning and serious.
Smiling, being polite and kind are all part of the manners of the Prophet, which we must exercise in our daily lives. If we want to approach others with Islam, we have to make ourselves approachable. Smiling is key to this.
But note that being approachable does not mean being flirtations with the other gender. There are Islamic rules for how men and women should deal with each other which have to be respected. Dawa is no excuse to have long and private conversations and meetings with the other sex, for example. Set up a system where someone expressing an interest in Islam is referred to someone of the same sex.
Tip #6: Take the initiative and hang out with them
Take the first step and invite someone you may have spoken to a couple of times to sit at lunch together, to check out a hockey game or invite them over for Iftar in Ramadan. Also, share difficulties, sorrows and frustrations. Help with homework, be a shoulder to cry on when depression hits, or just plain listen when your friend is upset, discuss common problems and KEEP THEIR SECRETS. There are few things as annoying as a snitch and backstabber. But an important note: if the problem is of a serious nature, (i.e. your friend is thinking of committing suicide or is taking drugs), notify and consult an adult immediately.
Tip #7: Show them Islam is relevant today, right here, right now
Young people may think Islam is too "old fashioned" and not in tune with the modern age. Prove this wrong. Show how Islam is really about relating to Allah, which any human being can do, anywhere, anytime. Allah is always closer to you than your jugular vein and He hears and knows everything. Encourage friends to ask Allah's help during tests, exams, and in dealing with problems at home with parents and siblings. Also point out how Islam relates to teenagers: Islam gives you focus and an understanding of who you are and where you are going, which most of "teen culture" does not.
Tip #8: Get them involved in volunteer work with you
If you are already involved in the community, get your friend to help out. Ask them to make a flyer for one of your youth group's events or brainstorm for ideas about activities to hold this school year. This involvement makes them feel part of the Muslim community and deepens your friendship, since you are now working together on something beneficial for both of you. Make sure you thank them for their contribution.
Tip #9: Ask them 4 fundamental questions
As your friendship develops, you will notice the topics you discuss may become more serious. You may be discussing, for instance, future goals and plans. Khan recommends four questions to ask that can steer the topic to Allah and Islam:
a. Where am I going in life and what would make me really happy deep down inside?
b. What do I believe?
c. Who should I be grateful to?
d. Did I get to where I am today without the help of anyone?
Tip #10: Emphasize praying five times a day before any other aspect of Islam
A person's main connection with Allah, on a daily basis, is through the prayer five times a day. Don't emphasize any other aspect of Islam until your friend starts making a real effort to pray five times a day. Emphasize the direct connection one has with Allah in prayer. If they are facing a problem, tell them to pray, and to ask Allah for help in Salah and outside this time. When possible, make it a point to pray together during your "hang out time". If your friend begins to pray, that is the first step to other aspects of Islam like giving up swearing, treating parents with respect or dressing Islamically.
Tip# 11: Help instil confidence in adults
Adults, like Bart Simpson's dad Homer, are considered bumbling idiots in the eyes of "teen culture". Your job as a young Muslim is to help turn the tables on this false and unIslamic belief. All you have to do is this: when a Muslim adult does something good (i.e. saving someone's life, donating money to a worthy cause, the Imam gives a good speech, taking good care of his/her family) bring it up in the course of your conversations with your friend and praise the adult in question. Doing this regularly may not only change your friend's perspective, but could lead to them seeing their own parents in a more respectful way.
Tip #12: Support them even when they become more practicing
Remember, just because a person starts practicing Islam more regularly, this does not mean everything will be okay from this point onwards. There will still be hard times, difficulties. There may be times when your friend may have doubts about his or her newfound practice of Islam. Be there to reassure them.
friend |
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hkhan
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Tuesday, November 4, 2003 - 12:03 PM
thanx again to amby for more v. useful tips; hope more and more youngsters and parents read it.
for tip no.8, its v. good opportunity nowadays to involve them in e.g. islam awareness week happening at national level here
instead of trying to do everything ourselves on similar such occasions we shud request them to help like typing , printing, copying material from these useful websites to b distributed
sp.. www.muslimheritage.com nowadays which gives them confidence about their rich history and contribution to all modern sciences
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AMby
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Monday, November 10, 2003 - 6:19 PM
Zachariah Matthews
Lecture presentation at the Cabramatta Masjid, 7 July 2000
My dear Muslim youth, brothers and sisters, let me remind you that are part of a great Islamic Ummah. You are members of an international family and you are the heirs to a great legacy. In you lie our hopes for a brighter future. That is why we are spending every effort to protect and guide you on the road to becoming the best Muslim you can possibly be - representing the best way of life, Islam. One of the dangers that we must point out to you is that of "drugs".
Why do people use drugs?
For enjoyment and fun – the "now.com" generation using ecstasy and speed in their pursuit for happiness, or
To escape the pain and suffering of their lives – a "time-out" from the pressures they endure to conform and fit in.
What are the effects of Drugs?
They impair decision-making ability leading to irresponsible behaviour. `Uthman Ibn Affaan (ra) said: "Intoxicants are the key to all evils. A man was once asked either to tear up a copy of the Quran, or kill a child, or bow in worship to an idol, or drink a cup of alcohol, or sleep with a woman. He thought the lesser wrong action would be to drink the cup of alcohol, so he drank. Then he slept with the woman, killed the child, tore up the copy of the Quran and bowed in worship to an idol."
They cause harm to the body (alcoholic liver disease, lung cancer from cigarette smoking, heroin overdose, etc).
They cause moral insensitivity (alcohol lowers inhibitions).
They weaken will power.
They cause the user to develop a disregard for how he looks (e.g., the frail looking junky).
They cause the user to turn to crime to pay for drugs.
What are the risks of Drug Abuse?
Making an accident while under the influence.
Causing someone’s death or disfigurement.
Accidental overdose leading to unconsciousness and/or death.
Depression leading to suicide.
Addiction.
Diseases such as HIV, AIDS, hepatitis, etc.
Psychiatric illnesses such as schizophrenia.
Arrested and spending time in jail.
The NSW Drug Summit in 1999 found the following disturbing statistics:
Over 45 % of Australian adults have used an illicit drug at some point in their lives, and about one in five have used such drugs in the past year.
In 1992 harmful alcohol use caused the loss of 3,660 lives and 731,169 hospital bed days; smoking caused 18,290 deaths and 812,866 hospital bed days; illicit drugs caused 488 deaths and 40,522 hospital bed days.
In 1996, there were 739 illicit drug deaths in Australia,
Between 1993 and 1997 the percentage of cannabis dependent patients suffering from drug-induced psychosis rose from 15% to 26 %.
Injecting drug use accounts for between 1 and 5% of HIV cases. Hepatitis C infection is highly prevalent among injecting drug users, with prevalence rates estimated between 50% and 70%.
The total social and economic cost to Australia in 1992 of drug use (including prevention and treatment, loss of productivity in the workplace, property crime, accidents and law enforcement activity) was $18.8 billion.
What are the causes of the problem?
Among the findings of the 1999 Drug Summit include:
There are certain risk factors that show correlation with a person’s likelihood to misuse drugs, these include:
poor parenting or abuse,
a family’s lack of social or local attachment,
family illness especially psychiatric illness,
substance abuse by parents,
poverty,
poor support services and
peer pressure.
The reasons that young people use drugs are complex and varied, including the alienation of some young people from society and their belief that society does not value them.
Drug Summit Proposed Solutions
Best practice guidelines should be established for peer support programs to strengthen the effectiveness of support for students at significant transition points within their school career.
Recognition that families of drug users can play an important role in supporting their relative in avoiding harm, withdrawing from use and maintaining a drug free lifestyle.
The community as a whole needs to better understand, discuss and take ownership of the issue and the solutions, and be empowered to address its causes and impacts. The community needs to coordinate to develop a plan of action with which to combat the supply, distribution and abuse of drugs.
A shared set of values and ethics, underpinning a school culture which is antithetical to the abuse of drugs in any form.
The attitudes and behavior of parents and the community significantly influence the health choices of young people.
The Government’s Solution
The Government is under pressure to liberalise drug laws because the current ones are failing, and is under pressure to introduce the radical concept of "safe", medically supervised injecting rooms. The focus is now switching from punishment to treatment and rehabilitation -- from the criminal arena into the health arena. The focus has shifted from harm prevention to harm minimisation. In Islam, "prevention is better than cure".
Hypocrisy
Our youth are aware of society's hypocritical attitude towards drugs. Some drugs are part and parcel of the cultural fabric, are heavily regulated and taxed by the Government, are supported by multinational corporate sponsorship and advertising. Other drugs on the other hand are illegal, but not beyond the easy reach of anyone who wishes or needs to use them. This hypocritical interface between legal and illegal drugs only helps to mask the real problems. Some people suggest that all drugs be legalised and made available.
The Islamic Solution
The Islamic and sensible solution to the problem is to ban all drugs for recreational and social use. Critics of this 'magic bullet' approach will be in uproar, and their opposition will be immediate. Yet, if we look at the problem objectively, everyone can see the advantages and disadvantages of such a stance. Government bodies are well aware of the social and financial costs of drugs and the staggering toll on the lives of ordinary Australians. In response to the crisis, tobacco advertisements have been replaced by "Quit" campaigns, drivers are subject to random breath tests by police, graphic portrayals of road carnage litter our television screens, and even footballers - those Australian icons - attend re-education activities to reduce adverse larrikin publicity. Yet these are only ‘band-aid solutions’ and will not eradicate the problem.
Every magic bullet needs a magic gun, and that gun is Islam. Not the heavy-handed, government-enforced solution that typified the attempts of the American authorities with their 'Prohibition' legislation in the 1930s - we all know that was a total failure. What is needed is a similar approach to the one adopted by the Prophet (s) and those early Muslims. Firstly, instill belief in One God firmly into peoples' hearts and minds, to make them personally aware of, and responsible for, the success or failure of their own souls. Then introduce solid and reasonable arguments and programs against consumption of drugs, coupled with step by step restriction of use, before completely banning them. Only then can legislation be enforced, because only then will people have the correct, natural attitude of reliance upon their Creator and abhorrence to drugs of all sorts.
The Quranic Method Re:Khamr
It took three years to ban khamr (intoxicating liquor). The first verse revealed was: "And from the fruits of date-palm and grapes you derive sakaraa (intoxicating liquor) as well as wholesome sustenance. Lo! Therein is indeed a sign for people who have wisdom." (Q16:67)
Muslims started to think about khamr. The second verse was then revealed: "They ask you (O Muhammad) about khamr (alcoholic drink) and gambling. Say: ‘In them is a great sin, and some benefit for men, but the sin is greater than the benefit.’…" (Q2:219)
The pious Muslims started staying away from khamr but because it was not banned the majority of Muslims still continued. The third order came when one of the companions made salaah while intoxicated making serious mistakes in reciting Quran: "O you who believe! Do not approach salaah when you are drunk until know what you say…" (Q4:43)
For the first time drunkenness was put against salaah. With five salaahs a day there was therefore little time for drinking. And the addict also had the chance to wean himself off alcohol. The last blow came when a feast was held between Muhajireen and Ansaar and alcohol was served. When they got drunk, they started boasting and fighting using the bones of the feast. When they were again sober they were depressed feeling guilty and sinful. The Quran came at that moment to ban alcohol and gambling: "O you who believe! Khamr (alcoholic drinks), gambling, al-ansaab (stones set up as altars or idols) and al-azlaam (arrows for seeking luck) are loathsome evils of Shaytan’s work. So avoid them in order that you may be successful. Shaytan only wants to excite enmity and hatred between you with khamr (alcoholic drinks) and gambling, and hinder you from the remembrance of Allah and from salaah. Will you not then abstain?" (Q5:90-1)
The response of the whole community was remarkable. They cried: "O Allah! We have abstained." In three gradual steps khamr was prohibited. Anas ibn Malik (ra) said that everyone threw out their khamr and for many days the lanes and streets of Madina smelled of it.
Aisha (ra) said about the Quranic method: "If the Quran first told the Arabs not to drink khamr and not to gamble or perform fornication or adultery they would have said: ‘No, we cannot.’ The Quran kept putting in their hearts the fear and love of Allah. The description of the life hereafter with its Paradise and Gardens of Eden for those who obey and Hell and its Fire for those who rebel, until their hearts softened. Then they were commanded to stop khamr, adultery and gambling, and they complied." (Bukhari)
The Quranic legislation concerning the total abstinence from drinking alcohol or taking any other intoxicant is unique to Islam and this absolute prohibition is at odds with current Western initiatives that seek to regulate the consumption of intoxicants such as cannabis and alcohol to moderate social use. The Prophet (s) said: "All intoxicants are unlawful; of whatever thing a large quantity intoxicates, even a small quantity is prohibited." (Al-Nawawi)
The General Quranic Method
If we examine the nature of the Quranic method, the Meccan portion of the Glorious Quran revealed to the Prophet Muhammad (s), dealt with only one question, and that is the Unity of Allah (swt) – the Tawheed. The injunctions against intoxicants and many of the laws regulating society were revealed later. As Sayyid Qutb eloquently elaborates: "During the Meccan period, the Quran explained to man the secret of his existence and the secret of the universe surrounding him. It told him who he is and where he has come from, for what purpose and where he will go in the end. Who brought him from non-existence into being, to whom he will return, and what his final disposition will be. It also informed him concerning the nature of the things which he can touch and see and the things which he can sense and conceive but which he cannot see. Who created and administers this marvelous universe. Who alternates night and day, and Who renovates and varies things. Similarly, it told him how to relate to the Creator, to the physical world, and to other human beings."
When the first generation of Muslims truly appreciated the Unity of Allah (swt), when they understood the implications of declaring laa-ilaaha-illalaa (there is no God except Allah), they were then ready to have all their affairs governed by the divine laws of the Shari`ah. The prohibition against intoxicants was developed in three stages over the period of revelation, once it’s absolute prohibition was finalized the first generation of Muslims had the conviction to not only cease the consumption of intoxicants but also destroy every trace of them from the city of Madinah.
Allah (swt) knew that morality and a value system could only be built on imaan. Imaan provides criteria, creates values, defines the authority from which these criteria and values are to be derived, and prescribes the reward of the one who accepts this authority and the punishment of those who deviate or oppose it.
Without the collective belief in the concept of a higher authority, all values remain unstable and morals based on that remain unstable. Faith in Allah (swt) will generate respect, honesty, righteousness and perseverance -- values which will protect our youth from the problems of drug addiction.
This solution is not simplistic. It has been successfully documented in history, and is repeatable, if people have the will and the courage to implement it. A drug-free society is absolutely possible and is the hallmark of a truly civilised and progressive world. This is a goal to which we should all strive, and it is an option that should be put fairly and squarely before the Australian community. Who should do this? We should, with the Help of Allah (swt)!
That is the solution we can present to the Australian community. But does the problem of drugs not affect the Muslim community? It does! And we may be surprised to know the real extent. This is something we cannot ignore. So how can we address the problem in the Muslim community?
To our parents
You have a great responsibility. Allah (swt) instructs you to: "O you who believe! Save yourselves and your families from a fire whose fuel is men and stones…" (Q66:6)
Lead by example – stay away from intoxicants yourself.
Focus on two main things – Education and Supervision:
Education:
This should start from birth – don’t wait until it is too late.
Instill the belief in your child that none is worthy of worship except Allah (swt).
Develop a commitment in our child to live according to Islamic values (respect, honesty, righteousness, perseverance, etc). It must not be by compulsion but by choice.
Avoid using the big stick (rather use love and compassion, develop a strong bond with your kids and easy communication).
Supervision:
Stress to your child the importance of keeping good company.
Don’t let them roam about late at night.
Don’t leave them alone at home.
Curtail their finances.
To our community leaders
Unite to provide support networks for our youth – sports and recreation facilities. We must bear in mind that such a problem can only be fought as a community. Allah (swt) says: "And hold fast together, by the Rope which Allah (stretches out for you), and be not divided amongst yourselves..." (Q64:16)
Educate our youth about the dangers of drugs (imams at jumuah, etc).
We should support "harm prevention" rather than "harm minimisation".
To our youth
Dare to be different – a Muslim - and proud of it.
Hang out with good company – fellow believers who will encourage you to do right.
Avoid the trash music corrupting your innocent minds.
Be careful about what you watch on TV.
Avoid being in the presence of intoxicants (especially alcohol), e.g., pubs, social gatherings, dance parties, etc – the temptation is always there.
Finally
We should all turn to Allah (swt) for help in our efforts to successfully addressing this problem. Ameen
friend |
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hkhan
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 12:05 PM
assalamoalaykum/peace
a v. important issue no doubt
information on drugs is being distributed here in local mosques
besides i think its v. important to bring our youth in touch with good people and websites as friends so they share everythig with them and indirectly wud b, sort of, monitored in a way e.g recently they hv been exchanging emails re: haloween
when they exchange such with islamic websites/email addresses we hv introduced them to, they will hopefully get some useful information in return
in brief i think the issue comes down to friends and company again, more time, care and share from parents, providing alternatives and ofcourse lots of dua's/prayers for them
the consequences of drug abuse can b advertised more on media including web
last nite i saw a lady patient abused by drugs since teenage and now a mother to b of her 6th child
so worn out, anaemic, depressed, no will to live, let alone looking after children
partner happy to dump her in hospital and remain free for his other activities
these e.g of life quality shud b quoted more and more to our youth who still hv time to think and avoid all this happenin to them insha'Allah
regards
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AMby
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 1:37 PM
i found this nice article so thought of sharing with everyone :)
Who Do You Sit With ?
by :A.S. Zod.
Brothers and Sisters! Fear Allah in secret and in public, do not
transgress His limits and do not dare anything disobedient to Allah.
Allah says in the Qur'an:
"Verily, he who fears Allah with obedience to Him, (by abstaining
from sins and evil deeds and by performing righteous good deeds),
and is patient, then surely Allah makes not the reward of the
good-doers be lost."
Yusuf 12:90
And also:
"O you who believe! Fear Allah as He should be feared, and die only
as Muslims in a state of Islam with complete submission to Allah."
Al Imran 3:102
And:
"O you who believe! Keep your duty to Allah, fear Him and speak
always the Truth. He will direct you to do righteous good deeds and
will forgive your sins. And whosoever obeys Allah and His Messenger,
Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam, he has indeed achieved a great
achievement - i.e. he will be saved from Hell-fire and made to enter
Paradise."
Al Ahzaab 33:70-71
Allah Almighty created man, and made socialising a part of his
nature. Man therefore, either associates with the righteous, or with
the wicked, and if he does not associate with people, then he has a
relationship with the jinns, who will call him to do evil and lead
him astray. Or, he will have a relationship with numerous material
things in the form of the television, video tapes, music, magazines
etc. by which he will be entrance, and this usually results in a
negative attitude in his behaviour.
People tend to sit with those who have the same nature as them. The
good person is inclined to mix with the good, while the bad person
is inclined to mix with the bad.
The Qur'an urges us to choose the good friend. In Surah At Tawbah it
states:
"O you who believe! Be afraid of Allah, and be with those who are
true in words and deeds."
At Tawbah 9:119
In Surah Al Kahf there are a few lessons to be considered in the
following Verse where Allah says: (18:28)
1. "And keep yourself patiently... - therefore socialising with
people showing moral rectitude is a type of worship that requires
patience."
2. "..With those who call on their Rabb, morning and afternoon... -
these are the characteristics with which we should choose our
friends."
3. "..Seeking His face... - this is with reference to sincerity."
4. "..And let not your eyes overlook them... - Here Allah is telling
the Prophet, Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam, not to overlook the
righteous people, because if he did, then he will certainly be with
the bad."
That is why Allah Almighty says to the Prophet, Sallallaahu Alayhi
Wasallam, not to: "..desire the pomp and glitter of the life of the
world. And obey not him whose heart We have made heedless of Our
Remembrance, one who follows his own lusts and whose affair have
been lost."
If these orders by Allah Almighty are directed to the best of His
creatures, the Prophet, Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam, because He
cares about his heart, then what can be said about us being affected
by those who follow their own lusts.
The Prophet, Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam said, "Do not take someone
as a friend, unless he is a believer, and nobody should eat your
food unless he is pious."
From this we can gather why our pious predecessors used to be
specific in choosing their friends. They even sometimes made
supplications to Allah to let someone pious support him in acts of
worship. The Prophet, Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam said, "A man
becomes like the one with whom he associates with, so be aware of
who you mix with."
The friend of a believer should possess certain qualities such as
intelligence, good moral standards and must also not be an innovator
in religion. He must not be a Faasiq (disobedient Muslim) - because
the faasiq is someone who acts immorally and sinfully and does not
fear Allah. Hence he can not be trusted.
The benefits that can be acquired from a righteous friend:
• Reward and merit - In a Hadeeth by Abu Hurayrah (RA), the Prophet,
Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam said, "Allah has some angels who look
for those who celebrate the Praises of Allah on the roads and paths.
When they find some people celebrating the Praises of Allah, they
call one another saying, 'Come to the object of your pursuit'. He
added, "Then the angels encircle them with their wings up to the sky
of the world. " He added, "After those people have celebrated the
Praises of Allah, and the angels have gone back, their Rabb asks the
angels - though He knows better than they - 'What do My slaves say?'
The angels reply, 'They say: SubhaanAllah, Allahu Akbar, and
Alhamdulillah.' Allah then says, 'Did they see Me?' The angels
reply, 'No! By Allah, they didn't see You.' Allah says, 'How would
it be if they saw Me?' The angels reply, 'If they saw You, they
would worship You more devoutly, celebrate Your Glory more deeply,
and declare more often Your freedom from a resemblance to anything
else.' Allah says to the angels, 'What do they ask Me for?' The
angels reply, 'They ask You for Paradise'. Allah says to the angels,
'Did they see it?' The angels say, 'No! By Allah, O Rabb! They did
not see it.' Allah says: 'How would it be if they saw it?' The
angels say, 'If they saw it, they would covet it much more, seek it
with greater zeal and would have greater desire for it.' Allah says,
'From what do they seek refuge?' The angels reply, 'They seek refuge
from the Hell-Fire.' Allah says, 'Did they see it?' The angels say,
'No, By Allah, O Rabb! They did not see it'. Allah says, 'How would
it be if they saw it?' The angels say, 'If they saw it they would
flee very far from it and would have extreme fear of it.' Then Allah
says, 'I make you witnesses that I have forgiven them'". Allah's
Messenger, Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam added: "One of the angels
will say, 'There was so-and-so among them; he was not one of them,
but he had just come for some need'. Allah will say, 'These are the
people whose companions will not be reduced to misery.'"
• Knowledge and information. Imam Maalik reports that Luqmaan Al
Hakeem advised his son by saying: "O my son sit with the scholars
and approach them eagerly, since Allah enlightens the heart with the
light of wisdom in the same way Allah enriches the earth by
supplying it with rain."
• Reason and consultation. Every person needs a friend who can
advise him in his interests and welfare and most importantly his
Deen, and to be away from the hypocrites who really do not mean what
they say or have some other motive for their friendship other than
to please Allah (swt).
• Virtuous morals and generosity. The Hadeeth mentioned earlier
regarding whom you should mix with describes this issue, and there
is a famous saying that says, "Tell me who your friends are and I
will tell you who you are."
• Humbleness and submissiveness. The Prophet, Sallallaahu Alayhi
Wasallam used to sit with the poor and those deserving pity.
• If, however, you did not benefit from the morals and knowledge of
a righteous friend morally, you would have at least benefited from
his good reputation.
• The company of those righteous increases your goodness. Abu Moosa
Al Ash'aree (RA) narrated that the Prophet, Sallallaahu Alayhi
Wasallam said, "The example of a good companion who sits with you in
comparison with a bad one, is like that of the musk seller and the
blacksmith's bellows or furnace, from the first you would either buy
musk or enjoy its good smell while the bellows would either burn
your clothes or your house, or you get a bad nasty smell thereof."
If you do not find knowledge and morals in a person, then you should
revert to the Qur'an, to other books of knowledge, to tapes from
well-known scholars for companionship. In Surah Al Israa' it says:
"And We sent down from the Qur'an that which is a healing and a
mercy to those who believe, and it increases the Dhaalimoon - the
wrong-doers, nothing but loss. Some of the pious predecessors use to
accompany the dead Companions by reading their biographies, since
this increased their faith and an example to follow."
Al Israa 17:82
Know that if friendship was founded on sincerity and for the sake of
Allah, then Allah will accept it and honor it. If it was based on
worldly matters, then Allah will reject it. Az Zukhruf it says:
"Friends on that Day will be foes one to another except the Al
Muttaqoon - the pious and righteous who fear Allah much".
Az Zukhruf 43:67
In Surah At Tawbah Allah says:
"O you who believe! Be afraid of Allah and be with those who are
true."
At Tawbah 9:119
In Surah Al An'aam Allah says:
"And leave alone those who take their religion as play and
amusement, and are deceived by the life of this world".
Al An'aam 6:70
The Prophet, Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam, and many of our pious
predecessors warned us about the bad friends and described them as
people of lust, who believe in magic, the hypocrites who back-bite,
and those who engage in false conversation about the Qur'an.. In
Surah. Al An'aam Allah says:
"And when you see those who engage in a false conversation about Our
Verses of the Qur'an by mocking at them, stay away from them till
they turn to another topic. And if Satan causes you to forget, then
sit not you after the remembrance in the company of those people who
are the Dhaalimoon - the wrong-doers".
Al An'aam 6:68
In Surah An Nisaa it states:
"And it has already been revealed to you in the Book that when you
hear the verses of Allah being denied and mocked at, then sit not
with them, until they engage in a talk other than that; but if you
stayed then certainly in that case you would be like them."
An Nisaa 4:140
The bad person whom you took for a companion will make you say on
the Day of Judgement as is stated in Surah Az Zukhruf it
states:(43:38-39)
"Would that between me and you were the distance of the two Easts or
the East and West - a worst type of companion! It will profit you
not this Day as you did wrong and that you will be sharers in the
punishment."
Allah mentions two examples of friendship in the Qur'an:
• A person who took a disbeliever as an example to resemble and died
without repentance. Allah says about him in Surah Al Furqaan Allah
says:(25:27-29)
"And remember the Day when the Dhaalimoon - the wrong-doer, will
bite at his hands: he will say, Oh! Would that I had taken a path
with the Messenger Muhammad, Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam! Ah! Woe to
me! Would that I had never taken so-and-so as a friend!"
• A person also took a disbeliever as an example, then Allah
bestowed His mercy upon him and he repented. In Surah As Saaffaat it
states:(37:51-57)
"A speaker of them will say, Verily I had a companion in the
world.(51)
Who used to say, Are you among those who believe in Resurrection
after Death.(52)
That when we die and become dust and bones, shall we indeed be
raised up to receive reward or punishment according to our
deeds?(53)
The man said, Will you look down?(54)
So he looked down and saw him in the midst of the fire.(55)
He said, By Allah! You have nearly ruined me.(56)
Had it not been for the Grace of my Rabb. I would certainly been
among those brought forth to Hell.(57)"
We ask Allah Almighty for forgiveness in anything we may have done
that transgressed our duty. To make our hearts firm on His Religion
and make our lives end with the True faith. To help and guide us and
to give us the ability to learn and understand His True Religion. To
apply it throughout our daily lives, then preach it to others, and
grant us His Mercy in this world as well as in the Hereafter.
May Allah send His Salaat and Salaams upon our Prophet Muhammad,
Sallallaahu Alaihi Wasallam, upon his family, upon his noble
Companions and all the rightly guided people from the day of
Creation to the Last Day .
friend |
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hkhan
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Friday, November 14, 2003 - 3:36 AM
many thnx br/sr for such an elaborative information on such imp. topic
may Allah bless ur time and reward the best for this effort
may we b the first ones to practice and hv such friends
wassalaam
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AMby
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Saturday, November 15, 2003 - 6:18 PM
This is the month on ramadan so here are some useful tips that can help us to handle kids and motivate them into fasting
Parents talking to their children's principals,
teachers and classmates in public schools about
Ramadan is of immense importance.
By doing so, Muslim children feel less awkward
identifying themselves as Muslims, since someone
in an authority position has discussed what they
believe what they do.
As a result, the children often feel more
confident and secure. As well, Muslim children
need to feel the importance of their own
celebrations and holidays, especially since we
are living in a non-Muslim environment where
kids don't see fancy lights and decorations,
commercial hoopla or consistent reminders of the
"holiday season" during Ramadan.
And of course, talking to your child's class
about Ramadan is a great way to make Dawa to
non-Muslim kids and Muslim kids as well, in
particular those who may come from non-practicing
Muslim families.
There are a couple of tips to keep in mind when
approaching the school or your child's teachers
about presenting, as well as for how you present
the information to the child's class.
Tip #1: Start early
Calling your child's teacher in the middle of
Ramadan asking to do a presentation on the topic
is too late. Now, less than a month before
Ramadan is the best time to bring up the issue,
especially considering Christmas is coming up
and holidays are on the minds of most people,
teachers and students included.
Starting early also helps you think about and
gather the right materials to make a good
presentation.
Tip #2: Get permission from your child's teacher
While parents do have a lot of clout in the
school system, this does not allow them to show
up unexpectedly one day at their son or
daughter's class to do a presentation on Ramadan.
Send a letter giving a general indication
that you want something done about Ramadan. Then
wait for the teacher to call. If he or she does
not do so within a week, call them and tell them
you are following up on the letter you sent
earlier.
Tip #3: Select the right period in which to do
the presentation
Does your child study Social Studies? Or does he
or she have a period once a week for Moral and
Religious education? If so, suggest to the
teacher that you would like to do the
presentation during these periods.
Or, you can of course ask the teacher if he or
she has ideas about which time would be best
to come in and do the presentation.
Tip #4: Be polite but firm
Speaking nicely to people is part of our Deen,
including non-Muslims. We should remember that
the purpose of this exercise is to not just
educate the students, but the teachers as well.
Being polite and courteous will not detract from
your desire to present. It will serve to build
bridges and communication, and could lead to
further contact to do presentations on other
Islam-related topics and more teacher-parent
cooperation in the future, Insha Allah.
Tip #5: Ask the teacher what areas to cover and
how long it should be
This helps to adjust your presentation to the
age level of the students, as well as connect it
to what they are already learning.
This doesn't mean you can't bring in other
information, but knowing what to cover from the
teacher helps you put down what has to be
covered and from there you can develop more
points on these or related topics.
Asking how long the presentation should be can
also help you decide how much you can include in
your presentation.
Tip #6: Read, prepare, read, prepare
Now that you've gotten the permission, you don't
just sit back and wait for the night before the
presentation to put it together.
Remember, if you want to appeal to the students,
especially younger ones, you are going to need
more than just a talk.
Visuals are a great help. You can get a Ramadan
banner pictures of Muslims fasting, show part of
a video aimed at children about Ramadan.
To get the right material, you will have to find
out where to get it from, and ordering it might
take a couple of weeks.
Preparing is important, even though you may have
fasted all of your life and think you know all
about Ramadan. Get a children's Islamic
book and read what it says about Ramadan.
Or an article written by a teenager about
Ramadan. This will also help you understand what
points to emphasize in your presentation.
Reading up will also clarify any incorrect
cultural norms that may have seeped into the
practice of Ramadan which you may not have been
aware of.
Talk to a knowledgeable Muslim for advice as
well.
Tip #7: Talk to your son or daughter about the
presentation
Who would know better the mind set of the kids
in the class than your son or daughter? Consult
them about what to include, what the kids like,
what kind of things they are interested in.
Not only will this improve your presentation,
Insha Allah, but it will also make Ameena or
Saeed feel important and more confident as
individuals, and as Muslims.
Tip #8: A few days before the presentation
Call the teacher to check the date and time of
the schedule.
This will serve to remind him or her about your
visit and prepare the class accordingly.
It will also help you get the exact time and
date.
Tip #9: Write presentation points on note cards
Reading off papers about Ramadan will not hold
the interest of many people, young or old.
Instead, writing brief notes on note cards that
you can look at so you don't miss any topic will
help you avoid straying from the subject while
allowing you to make eye contact with your
audience and maintain a conversational style of
presentation.
Tip #10: Practice your presentation in front of
your son/daughter
Practicing helps you identify what can be
improved, changed or omitted.
Practicing in front of Ameena will give you the
opportunity to present before one of the kids in
the class who can really give you the best
advice.
It will also help you time your presentation,
so you can make it shorter or longer.
Tip #11: Dress for success
This does not mean pulling out the Armani suit
or the most expensive dress you have.
It just means looking as a Muslim should-clean,
respectable, professional and Islamically
covered. Clothes don't always "make the man"
but they do affect others' perception of you.
Tip #12: Be early
Teachers and students are busy people. They have
a certain curriculum to cover. The fact that
they've squeezed in your presentation is
somewhat of a privilege.
Don't take advantage of this by wasting their
time by coming late. And anyways, Muslims should
be on time as a principle.
Coming early can also help you set up our audio
visual material.
Tip #13: Make Dua...
before your presentation. Ask Allah to help you
convey this message sincerely, properly and
clearly.
And say Bismillah.
Tip #14: Speak calmly and clearly
It's important not to race through the
presentation, nor to talk too slowly.
A clear, conversational style, but emphasis on
the major points or terms you want the students
to understand can help convey the message
properly.
Tip #15: When answering questions
If you don't know something, say so. Then check
up on it and get back to the teacher. Ask him or
her to convey the response.
Tip #16: Thank Allah...
for this opportunity He blessed you with and
your ability to go through with it.
Tip #17: Send a thank you note to the teacher
and class...
thanking them for their time and attention, as
well as their cooperation.
friend |
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hkhan
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Saturday, November 15, 2003 - 8:29 PM
re: friends though i still am not sure how much can one interfere in children's/teenagers' choices in their selection
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xxbasxx
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Saturday, February 14, 2004 - 5:39 AM
ok, people. u need an expert. im a kid! PIK ME!!!
all kids hv diferent interests. 2 get us involvd u dnt just need colour, there myt b kids (lyk me) hu prefer blk and dark shades or there myt be kids hu enjoy bright shades lyk pink and orange.
u need a wide range of colours.
and a lot of persuasion. bribing with money works...!!
i hpe tht helpd!
well, all i no is tht im a kid and i luv this syt! the topics r very interesting!!
**no i wasnt blak maild in2 saying so by my mom... i hav a promisd 10 pounds 4 sayin all tht tho!!** (jokin...)
XxBasmahxX
this is sooooo rewarding! (in a financial sence)im joking people....
no, really, i mean SPIRITUAL. it feels gud 2 b with ppl hu i understand and hu understand meeeee!!! |
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