| Author | Topic |
saba2
Moderator
PAKISTAN
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 Posted - Saturday, June 19, 2010 - 5:23 AM 
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Javairea01
USA
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Posted - Tuesday, June 22, 2010 - 7:20 PM
quote:
so is beating a wife allowed ?
To finally answer your question... In you read Surah 4:An-Nisa(The Women). Ayat 34 says: Men are the protectors and maintainters of women, because Allah has made the one of them excel the other, and becase they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient(to Allah and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence whatAllah orders them guard (e.g. their chastity, their husband's property, etc). As to those women on whosr part you see ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (next), refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obeidience seek not against them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allah is Ever Most High, Most Great.
Read the whole surah Insha Allah. I tells you alot about the women.
Any question you have the Quran carries the answer and the hadeeths also too. So seek knowledge from the Quran and the teaches the Prophet Muhammad (SAW) As salaamu alaikum! |
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saba2
Moderator
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Friday, June 25, 2010 - 4:23 PM
Surah 4.34
The following is a typical translation of the verse:
4:34. ‘Men are in charge of (or overseers of - qawwamuna) women, as Allah has given them more (strength) than the other (sometimes translated as made them superior to the other), and because they spend of their wealth (to provide for them). Therefore women who are virtuous are obedient to God, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what God would have them guard. As for those women on whose part you fear rebellion (nushuz), admonish them and banish them to beds apart, (and last) beat (adribu) them. Then, if they obey you, seek not a way against them. For God is Most High, Great (above you all).
Qawwamuna
Qawwamuna comes from the root qawwam, the intensive form of qa’im – ‘one who is responsible for’ or ‘one who takes care of’ a thing or a person. Qawwam can be used to mean keeper, custodian, guardian, to be in charge of, manage, run, tend, guard, keep up, preserve, take care of, attend to, watch over, look after, direct, superintend, but it also means maintainer, caretaker, provider, and supporter.
Some translators of the Qur’an have used the word ‘guardian’, ‘one who stands firm in the business of others, protects their interests, and looks after their affairs’. The same word is used elsewhere in the Qur’an, as later in the same Surah, 4.135: ‘O you who believe, stand out firmly (qawwamina) for justice as witnesses to Allah…..’
Husbands are required to protect and support
So the true Islamic sense of the word is to protect and support - Muslim men are not expected to dominate, abuse or exploit, but to take care of their women, and this duty and responsibility of a husband is something that Muslim women are urged to accept.
Muhammad Asad’s translation of this verse reads: ‘Men shall take full care of women, with the bounties which God has bestowed on them more abundantly than upon the latter, and with what they may spend out of their possessions. The righteous women are the truly devout ones, who guard the intimacy which God has ordained to be guarded. As for those women whose ill-will you have reason to fear (on whose part you fear nushuz – disloyalty, rebellion, ill-conduct), talk to them persuasively, then leave them alone in bed (without molesting them) then (adribu) them (ie. either separate from them, or resume sleeping with them when they are willing and seek peace); and if they return to obedience, do not seek an excuse for blaming them: For God is Most High, Great (above you all).
Nushuz
Some translations use the word ‘rebellion’ in order to translate nushuz. This implies the power and authority of the husband, and suggests that when a wife rebels against her ‘lord and master’ it is sinful action on her part.
It is important to realize that the very same word, nushuz, is used later in the very same surah in regard to the behaviour of the husband, and here we may observe that the word is usually translated as ill-treatment rather than rebellion. Very interesting…..
‘If a wife fears ill-treatment (nushuz) or desertion on her husband’s part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves, and such settlement is best…..’ (Surah 4.128).
In fact, ‘ill-treatment’ is a far better translation; the word nushuz has a large number of possible meanings, including animosity, hostility, ill-will, ill-treatment, discord, every kind of deliberate bad behaviour of a wife towards a husband (or vice versa) including what is today called ‘mental cruelty’, and also the deliberate, persistent breach of marital duties (ie. refusing physical intimacy) on the part of either husband or wife.
In the context of Surah 4.34 the most appropriate meaning would seem to be that of marital discord, in this case a wife’s ill-will which implies a deliberate and persistent breach of her marital obligations. If a husband finds that his wife has become disloyal to him, and is conducting herself to his shame, then it is not right for him to just ignore this, but it is his duty to do something about it.
With luck, it may be enough to communicate. Communication is everything in a relationship, especially in a marriage. However, the text implies that things have gone far beyond this point.
If the wife takes no notice of discussion and counselling, then the relationship is really starting to break down. A husband might then begin the process of separation by no longer sleeping with her. Shifting to separate beds is usually such a serious step in a marriage that it clarifies the mind, and the couple are brought to the stage of talking things through seriously in order to reach some agreement.
Adribu (Arabic root – daraba)
The word translated as slap/hit/beat derives from the Arabic root daraba. In fact, daraba can be translated in over a hundred different ways, including to separate, to part, to set out (on the road), to shroud (in darkness), to mint (a coin), to publish (a book), to cover (as in ladies’ dress), to dispatch, to throw, to raise, and many more - and translators of the Qur’an and commentators on it have always had trouble with this word.
As it happens, words derived from this same root occur no less than 58 times in the Qur’an, and are used in different contexts in ways that can be ambiguous and open to widely different translations into English. In none of these other places is it used or translated in the sense of to hit, strike or beat. If a husband had descended to the level of beating his wife, the divorce proceeding would most probably become inevitable, and any possibility of a process of reconciliation (as outlined in Surah 4.35, the next verse) wiped out.
Aishah’s appraisal of the Prophet’s (pbuh) character
Aishah was crystal clear: ‘The Prophet (pbuh) never abused or spoke ill of anybody,’ she said. ‘He forgave faults and refrained from retaliation. He never thought of taking personal revenge, forgave non-believers promptly on their conversion to Islam, never fought on personal grounds, took an interest in his household affairs, condemned vendettas and blood-feuds, and never beat anyone – not even a slave.’ (Ibn Sa’d 1.430, 502).
The Proper Way – the Process of Support
Returning to Surah 4.34, the next verse gives the excellent advice that if the relationship really looks like breaking up, then both spouses should call in the help of two supporters, one for each side in the dispute, and listen to everything that needs saying with witnesses who can help calm things down.
4:35. If ye fear a breach between them (ie. the man and his wife), appoint (two) arbiters, one from his family, and the other from hers; If they wish for peace (desire reconciliation), then God will cause their reconciliation (make them of one mind): for God has full knowledge, and is acquainted With all things.’
So therefore it is logical to conclude that the verses of Surah 4.34-35 suggest that when a wife has seriously jeopardised her marriage by her ill-will, the husband should reason with her, then abstain from sexual intimacy with her, and if that fails, separate from her. Two arbiters should then be called in to present the case of both sides, and do their best to reconcile them. If the marriage is not ‘dead in the water’, Allah will help to bring about their reconciliation.
Refrence taken from
On Beating One’s Wife
by
Sr. Ruqaiyyah Waris Maqsood |
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Sanwal
INDIA
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Posted - Friday, July 16, 2010 - 6:58 PM
quote:
Adribu (Arabic root – daraba)
The word translated as slap/hit/beat derives from the Arabic root daraba. In fact, daraba can be translated in over a hundred different ways……………………...
As it happens, words derived from this same root occur no less than 58 times in the Qur’an, and are used in different contexts in ways that can be ambiguous and open to widely different translations into English. In none of these other places is it used or translated in the sense of to hit, strike or beat. ……………………...
In addition to 4: 34, here are some of the verses of the Koran which clearly show the meaning of dharaba as beating and no other.
2: 60 وَإِذِ اسْتَسْقَى مُوسَى لِقَوْمِهِ فَقُلْنَا اضْرِبْ بِعَصَاكَ الْحَجَرَ فَانْفَجَرَتْ مِنْهُ اثْنَتَا عَشْرَةَ عَيْنًا قَدْ عَلِمَ كُلُّ أُنَاسٍ مَشْرَبَهُمْ كُلُوا وَاشْرَبُوا مِنْ رِزْقِ اللَّهِ وَلا تَعْثَوْا فِي الأرْضِ مُفْسِدِينَ
60: 2 And remember Moses prayed for water for his people; We said: "Strike (adhrib) the rock with your staff." Then gushed forth there from twelve springs. Each group knew its own place for water. So eat and drink of the sustenance provided by Allah, and do no evil nor mischief on the (face of the) earth.
8: 12 إِذْ يُوحِي رَبُّكَ إِلَى الْمَلائِكَةِ أَنِّي مَعَكُمْ فَثَبِّتُوا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا سَأُلْقِي فِي قُلُوبِ الَّذِينَ كَفَرُوا الرُّعْبَ فَاضْرِبُوا فَوْقَ الأعْنَاقِ وَاضْرِبُوا مِنْهُمْ كُلَّ بَنَانٍ
12: 8 Remember your Lord inspired the angels (with the message): "I am with you: give firmness to the Believers: I will instill terror into the hearts of the Unbelievers: smite (adhrabu) ye above their necks and smite all their finger-tips off them."
38: 44 وَخُذْ بِيَدِكَ ضِغْثًا فَاضْرِبْ بِهِ وَلا تَحْنَثْ إِنَّا وَجَدْنَاهُ صَابِرًا نِعْمَ الْعَبْدُ إِنَّهُ أَوَّابٌ
44: 38 "And take in thy hand a little grass, and strike (adhrib) therewith: and break not (thy oath)." Truly We found him full of patience and constancy. How excellent in Our service! ever did he turn (to Us)!
Further, please read 38: 44 (Suad): Here One of Allah’s apostle Ayub (peace be upon him) was ordered by Allah (the exalted) to beat his wife.
So 38: 44 also supports that Islam does allow Husbands beating Wives (4:34). But surely as a last resort. |
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saba2
Moderator
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Saturday, July 17, 2010 - 2:00 PM
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Sanwal
INDIA
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Posted - Saturday, July 17, 2010 - 6:24 PM
I just pointed out the verses of Qura'n which have the clear meaning of "Dharaba" as beating, strike, smite etc NOT somelse meaning as said by author of the article.
quote:
not many scholars agree to this interpretation which promotes a non aggressive approach for reconciliation and keep the marriage intact.
No one has any authority to do the interpretation by his/her own. If we do interpretration for our own will then purpose of message of God is highly questionable? |
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saba2
Moderator
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Sunday, July 18, 2010 - 1:41 PM
surah 4.34
Yusuf Ali’s translation of the verse reads:
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient, and guard in (the husband’s) absence what Allah would have them guard. As to those women on whose part ye fear disloyalty and ill-conduct, admonish them (first), (Next), refuse to share their beds, (And last) beat them (lightly); but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all). ” (Quran 4:34, Yusuf Ali’s translation)
2. Marmaduke Pickthal
Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they
spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.
3. M.H. Shakir
Men are the maintainers of women because Allah has made some of them to excel others and because they spend
out of their property; the good women are therefore obedient, guarding the unseen as Allah has guarded; and (as to) those on whose part you fear desertion, admonish them, and leave them alone in the sleeping-places and beat them; then if they obey you, do not seek a way against them; surely Allah is High, Great.
4. T.B. Irving
Men are the ones who should support women since God has given some persons advantages over others, and because
they should spend their wealth [on them]. Honorable women are steadfast, guarding the Unseen just as God has it guarded. Admonish those women whose surliness you fear, and leave them alone in their beds, and [even] beat them [if necessary]. If they obey you, do not seek any way [to proceed] against them. God is Sublime, Great. If you fear a split between a man and his wife, send for an arbiter from his family and an arbiter from her family. If both want to be reconciled, God will arrange things between them. God is Aware, Informed. Worship God [Alone] and do not associate anything with Him.
5. Dr. Muhammad Muhsin Khan
Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allâh has made one of them to excel the other, and
because they spend (to support them) from their means. Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient (to
Allâh and to their husbands), and guard in the husband's absence what Allâh orders them to guard (e.g. their chastity,
their husband's property, etc.). As to those women on whose part you see ill conduct, admonish them (first), (next),
refuse to share their beds, (and last) beat them (lightly, if it is useful), but if they return to obedience, seek not against
them means (of annoyance). Surely, Allâh is Ever Most High, Most Great.
surah 4.34 by Ahmed Ali
مرد عورتوں پر حاکم ہیں اس واسطے کہ الله نے ایک کو ایک پر فضیلت دی ہے اور اس واسطے کہ انہوں نے اپنے مال خرچ کیے ہیں پھر جو عورتیں نیک ہیں وہ تابعدار ہیں مردوں کے پیٹھ پیچھے الله کی نگرانی میں (ان کے حقوق کی) حفاظت کرتی ہیں اور جن عورتو ں سےتمہیں سرکشی کا خطرہ ہو تو انہیں سمجھاؤ اور سونے میں جدا کر دو اور مارو پھر اگر تمہارا کہا مان جائیں تو ان پر الزام لگانے کے لیے بہانے مت تلاش کرو بے شک الله سب سے اوپر بڑا ہے
surah 4:34 Jalindhri
مرد عورتوں پر مسلط وحاکم ہیں اس لئے کہ خدا نے بعض کو بعض سے افضل بنایا ہے اور اس لئے بھی کہ مرد اپنا مال خرچ کرتے ہیں تو جو نیک بیبیاں ہیں وہ مردوں کے حکم پر چلتی ہیں اور ان کے پیٹھ پیچھے خدا کی حفاظت میں (مال وآبرو کی) خبرداری کرتی ہیں اور جن عورتوں کی نسبت تمہیں معلوم ہو کہ سرکشی (اور بدخوئی) کرنے لگی ہیں تو (پہلے) ان کو (زبانی) سمجھاؤ (اگر نہ سمجھیں تو) پھر ان کے ساتھ سونا ترک کردو اگر اس پر بھی باز نہ آئیں تو زدوکوب کرو اور اگر فرمانبردار ہوجائیں تو پھر ان کو ایذا دینے کا کوئی بہانہ مت ڈھونڈو بےشک خدا سب سے اعلیٰ (اور) جلیل القدر ہے
surah 4:34 احمد رضا خان
مرد عورتوں پر حاکم ہیں اس واسطے کہ الله نے ایک کو ایک پر فضیلت دی ہے اور اس واسطے کہ انہوں نے اپنے مال خرچ کیے ہیں پھر جو عورتیں نیک ہیں وہ تابعدار ہیں مردوں کے پیٹھ پیچھے الله کی نگرانی میں (ان کے حقوق کی) حفاظت کرتی ہیں اور جن عورتو ں سےتمہیں سرکشی کا خطرہ ہو تو انہیں سمجھاؤ اور سونے میں جدا کر دو اور مارو پھر اگر تمہارا کہا مان جائیں تو ان پر الزام لگانے کے لیے بہانے مت تلاش کرو بے شک الله سب سے اوپر بڑا ہے
these are the translations of the same verse ... but each scholar has used different words and so when you read the translation you get a different impression. |
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Sanwal
INDIA
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Posted - Sunday, July 18, 2010 - 6:13 PM
quote:
Al-Quran, 4: 34,
Men are in charge of women, because Allah hath made the one of them to excel the other, and because they
spend of their property (for the support of women). So good women are the obedient, guarding in secret that which Allah hath guarded. As for those from whom ye fear rebellion, admonish them and banish them to beds apart, and scourge them. Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them. Lo! Allah is ever High, Exalted, Great.
+
quote:
many scholars agree to this interpretation which promotes a non aggressive approach for reconciliation and keep the marriage intact.
So far as reconciliation and keeping the marriage intact, no husband is in favor of beating her wife.
Why don’t the women concentrate on last part of the verse (Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them)? Are the women against beating or something like that because they are not willing to obey and do reconciliation? |
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Sanwal
INDIA
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Posted - Monday, July 19, 2010 - 2:29 PM
Don't do beat about the bush. Be brief and Come to the point, again given as below.
Why don’t the women concentrate on last part of the verse, 4:34 (Then if they obey you, seek not a way against them)? Are the women against beating or something like that just because they are not willing to obey and do reconciliation?
Edited by: Sanwal on Monday, July 19, 2010 2:36 PM |
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marwan
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Monday, July 19, 2010 - 3:08 PM
quote:
so is beating a wife allowed ?
Salaam saba2,
refer first to http://www.studying-islam.org/forum/topic.aspx?topicid=2209&;pg=4&lang=&forumid=1 where the a small discussion takes place on the possible meaning of this verse is looked at.
At this point in time, I do not believe that this ayah allows for wife beating.
On another topic, I need to contact some forum moderator about a forum administration issue. Could you please let me know how to do this without me having to write about it in a post?
I have emailed the info@studying-islam.org address, but it gives me an error I think.
salaam |
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saba2
Moderator
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Monday, July 19, 2010 - 3:38 PM
Marwan i will look into the link but I get a message of error so will try later. Why dont you write to Mr. Shehzad Saleem , he will either address your concern himself or point you in the right direction.
ssaleem100@gmail.com
wassalaam |
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saba2
Moderator
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Monday, July 19, 2010 - 3:41 PM
| Sanwal I apologize for that so personal question please disregard it and I was so out of line to ask you that so humble apologies. |
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Sanwal
INDIA
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Posted - Monday, July 19, 2010 - 6:18 PM
| Ok, If you have realized, you may edit your posts. I hereby postpone my reply till you edit giving the proof of sincerity of your statement. |
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saba2
Moderator
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Monday, July 19, 2010 - 6:35 PM
quote:
I think women are more than willing to reconcile but reconciling to a man who hits is another matter.
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saba2
Moderator
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Monday, July 19, 2010 - 6:37 PM
quote:
women are against beating because no one likes to be beaten.Hitting never solves anything it instills fear rebellion anger and resentment. It might subdue a woman but it wont solve anything the fragile bond of trust will break with the first slap. Dialog is the only solution a husband and wife need to keep their communication channels open at all times and a 2 way channel not " I talk you listen" but both talking and listening .
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has given the one more (strength) than the other, and because they support them from their means. " a protector is not an aggressor and maintainer takes care of all needs physical, emotional and other things, it is a very heavy responsibility are men who complain about their wives actually fulfilling their responsibility? dissatisfaction lack of cooperation always has a root cause. Is it that the husband is too busy and the woman always bogged down with domestic problems? or maybe inlaws? maybe she doesn't get along with her mother in law and she complains to her husband but the answer she gets I dont want to hear anything she is my mother and you will do as she asks or something similar. Who is responsible for her happiness in this place? So a husband and wife need time privacy and at all times to keep talking pride and anger should not come in the way a husband could be wrong so an apology will not make him small.
In the same way a wife needs to understand that a husband needs emotional support and talk to her husband not just complain but really talk share what he is willing to share and respect his blood ties like mother father brother sister etc.
Marriage is give and take and respect of each other's needs. abuse and violence will never solve any relationship let alone a marriage. Lets examine these phrases "but if they return to obedience, seek not against them Means (of annoyance): For Allah is Most High, great (above you all). ” so what does obedience mean between a husband a wife ?
" i command you obey?" no but you both talk find a solution and when a reconciliation takes place then no after shocks should be felt.
"It is important to realize that the very same word, nushuz, is used later in the very same surah in regard to the behaviour of the husband, and here we may observe that the word is usually translated as ill-treatment
‘If a wife fears ill-treatment (nushuz) or desertion on her husband’s part, there is no blame on them if they arrange an amicable settlement between themselves, and such settlement is best…..’ (Surah 4.128).
The wife will probably see hitting as ill treatment so she can invoke her right to an arbitrator to settle the matter and if not satisfied ask for a divorce.
It is always better to settle things with trust and kindness in an open dialog not with blows.
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saba2
Moderator
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Tuesday, July 20, 2010 - 6:27 PM
| you are welcome sanwal, i am sorry but i cannot do that as it wont be appropriate but if you tell me through this forum what kind of help you need or advice maybe i can point you in the right direction |
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