| Author | Topic |
homairaasim
PAKISTAN
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 Topic initiated on Saturday, April 8, 2006 - 8:25 AM 
being a good muslim wife!
aslaamoalikum!...i can not make sure how to become a good muslim wife.I teach at a school n have 6 yrs old twins mashallah.Me n my husband offer our prayers n what else is required of us except that i do not cover my had all the time,only in markets or public places.my husband has started to go to tableghee jamaat and now he has no time for us specially me.Since i am already working so all the burden of housework n kids study to taking them out n grocery is shifted on me since he has to go for dawah.Now he is goin for two days.I dont wish to displease Allah but i fel miserably lonely n so depress that last night had to sleep with a tablet n cried the whole day.i have noone to share my problems with since i cannot disclose my personal matters to anyone except my husband.what should i do now can anyone help me? |
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oosman
USA
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Posted - Saturday, April 8, 2006 - 2:09 PM 
It seems like your husband is neglecting the rights of his near ones (but Allah knows best). You should inform him that you have more rights on him than other unknown people he goes out with/to, and he is neglecting his duties at home.
In this hadith from Sahih Bukhari, the prophet is advising against neglecting the rights of your spouse by doing excessive worship:
Volume 3, Book 31, Number 196:
Narrated 'Abdullah bin 'Amr bin Al-'As:
Allah's Apostle said to me, "O 'Abdullah! Have I not been informed that you fast during the day and offer prayers all the night." 'Abdullah replied, "Yes, O Allah's Apostle!" The Prophet said, "Don't do that; fast for few days and then give it up for few days, offer prayers and also sleep at night, as your body has a right on you, and your wife has a right on you, and your guest has a right on you. And it is sufficient for you to fast three days in a month, as the reward of a good deed is multiplied ten times, so it will be like fasting throughout the year." I insisted (on fasting) and so I was given a hard instruction. I said, "O Allah's Apostle! I have power." The Prophet said, "Fast like the fasting of the Prophet David and do not fast more than that." I said, "How was the fasting of the Prophet of Allah, David?" He said, "Half of the year," (i.e. he used to fast on every alternate day).
You can find other hadith that are more relevant to your situation if you look or ask someone, I know there are some, but I cannot find them now. |
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ibrahim
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Monday, April 10, 2006 - 7:11 AM
Wa Alaikum us Salaam dear Sister in Islam
I'm felling your PAIN I pray with the DEEP depths of My Heart that May Allah make your Life EASY & take Away your All Difficulties.Amin
1st of All, there is NO NEED to WORRY AT ALL as Ma sha Allah YOU are Already a Good Muslime Wife.
2ndly, Plz note that "Covering Head ALL the TIME" is NOT a Requirement of the Shareeah. (4 details PLZ go THRU our Course: "Norms of Gender Interaction". jazakillah)
3rdly, It's No DOUBT that your hasband has Started a V Good THING (spending TIME for Da'wah & Tableegh)
BUT
at the Same time I'm so SORRY to say that the interpertation of DA'WAH work taken By our SINCERE BOTHERS of "Tableeghi Jama'at" is TOTALLY Wrong. One is BOUND to do THIS work only & only in his SURROUNDINGS (ie where One LIVES or WORKS).
4thly, It's ur husband's Religious & Moral DUTY to Look after his wife (YOU) & his Children (Your Kids) & it Means that He'll not ONLY HAS to Arrange the BEST possible FOOD & other necessaties of Worldy LIFE for his WIFE & KIDS, He HAS to TRY his BEST to SAVE his FAMILY (You & Your kids) from the HELL. It means that He's NOT RESPONSIBLE for WHOLE Ummah or Even All PAKISTANI Muslims.
Last BUT not the LEAST
well Dear Sister This Husband-Wife relation DEMANDS Much MORE from You. You'll to WORK HARD to CHANGE the MINDSET of your Husband & be Careful, u have to DO all this LONG effort with your Extreme LOVE for him & with MAX possible SOFTNESS+ KEEP praying to the MOST KIND Allah to make your Efforts FRUITFUL.
My prayers are w U too & let me say that you can TRUST ME & SHARE w ME (if U like) ur All problems (hibrahim@wol.net.pk) & I'll TRY my BEST to HELP u as MUCH as I cud. At the Moment, JUST try your BEST to CONVINCE your Husband to LISTEN the LIVE dars e Quran o Hadith of Allama Javed Ahmed Ghamidi & ask HIM to do a LIVE Question to Ghamidi Sb (0900 22 225)about the DUTY of a MUSLIM regarding Da'wah & Tableegh. I f he's NOT ready to ask himself you can email your Question (javed.ghamidi@aaj.tv) if He's watching Program of Javed Sb.
At the END I Pray AGAIN for You, your kids & especially for your husband. Allah aap ki Tamam PROBLEMS ko JALDI sai SOLVE ker dai. Aameen summa Aameen. |
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sisterinislam
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Monday, May 22, 2006 - 12:56 PM
Assalamu Alaykum
Dear sister, may Allah reward you for your efforts intentions and your patients and suffering. firstly i agree with all of the points raised by brother Ibrahim, however you do not say wether you have actually spoken to your husband about how you are feeling ? If you wish to contact me i give permission for brother ibrahim to give you my e.mail address as i beleive as moderater he has access to it but i would rather not give it out in a post. sister keep sabr and remember that "with hardship comes ease" try buying a book of his favourite scholar that explains the duties of a man towards his wife. I make duaa for you in this testing time and remember this life is a test and allah will not burdon you with more than you can bear. may allah guide both you and your husband and make it easy for you. |
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