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xxbasxx

UNITED KINGDOM
Topic initiated on Tuesday, September 30, 2003  -  2:15 AM Reply with quote
How do I control my anger?


Salams! :D I really want to know how every body controls their temper!Islamically, what is the best way?

Bas!
Amatullahi

USA
Posted - Wednesday, October 1, 2003  -  2:55 AM Reply with quote
One of the best ways to control one's temper is to continuously seek refuge from Shaitan for he takes over the thoughts and actions of a person.

I also read somewhere that if one is angry he should sit down if he is standing or vice versa and if he is lying down he should sit up etc. Another advice is to perform ablution and seek solace in prayer.
One should be in constant remembrance of Allah, that way things will really look trivial and not worth losing temper for.

Yahoogroup
aslam

PAKISTAN
Posted - Friday, October 3, 2003  -  6:36 PM Reply with quote
Salams,
The following things have helped me control my temper:-
1:-Constant remembrance of Allah as Amatullahi has suggested.
2:-Apologizing to those people who become target of my violent temper.
3:-Reading of the ahadith about controlling anger everyday
4:-Muhasaba-e-Nafs(Thinking and taking account of the things I do everyday)when I go to my bed.
hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Sunday, October 5, 2003  -  1:00 AM Reply with quote
Peace/salaams

Bas, what do you think about it?
Or is your pc still out of order?
xxbasxx

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Monday, October 6, 2003  -  10:36 PM Reply with quote
well, its a gud suggestion but wen ure angry, u wana grab sumthin and rip it apart. i cant pik up a book and calmly start 2 read. i tryed it once and the book well . .. doesnt exsist n e more . . . i was so angry i ripped it in half!! if there is another peace ful way, cud u suggest it? PLEASE AND THANK U!!!!!!!

Bas!
Miss Khan

PAKISTAN
Posted - Wednesday, October 8, 2003  -  4:46 PM Reply with quote
AoA

First Bas u have to think, that when u get angry is it due to some tension??? As usually it happens with me, that when i am tensed i lose my temper at once... What i do that i try to go out in some open place and breath in and out fresh air.... and repeat with myself "Cool down... Its nonsence!!!" The second way that i try is though childish but it helped me a lot, that whenever i get angry i at once produce the thinking in my mind that it is Satan who is forcing me to do so... so to defeat Satan, i try to control myself :-) and with grace of Allah i am successful in this....
hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Thursday, October 9, 2003  -  8:42 PM Reply with quote
peace

fairly agreeable
works in most situations

do u think so bas
xxbasxx

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Saturday, October 11, 2003  -  12:58 AM Reply with quote
WoW thats amazing!! i hvnt had need 2 lose my temper yet, AlhamduliAllah, but if i do ever hv a teen trauma attak, i'll do that. Its really gud advice! YAHOO! its workin alreddy!
Many thnx! xxbasxx

Bas!
enlightme

USA
Posted - Tuesday, October 28, 2003  -  9:56 AM Reply with quote
When you are mad you should seek refuge from Shaytan. Then say la illa ha illa la Muhammada Rasoulila. In a hadith I read it takes away a lot of the problems and makes the situation a lot better. Also the Muhammad (sws) knew how your blood will have an impact on how angery or mad you are. That is why when people get angry and yell their blood pressure rises. Now, what he suggested was to sit down and try to calm yourself. If you are sitting down then and still angry and not able to calm yourself you should lie down. Then the blood is evenly dispersed in the body and blood pressure goes down, helping the person to calm themselves. The powerful one is not the one who knocks down another person due to his/her anger it is the one who can control himself/herself during an argument or when anger overtakes a person (according to the Prophet sws paraphrased.) A person came to the Prophet sws and said advice me the Prophet replied do not get angry. The person asked him twice more and he gave the same reply. So it very important for us all to control our anger. This does not mean never to get mad because the Prophet sws has gotten mad on certain occasions. At certain times one should get angry that is how good changes are made. But it is advised to control and get mad when necessary to make good change.

Whatever I said wrong is from Shaytan and whatever I said correctly is from Allah swt and the teaching of his Messenger sws
hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Tuesday, October 28, 2003  -  12:43 PM Reply with quote
very valuable piece of information with the logic behind the acts the beloved (sws)suggested

i personally feel anger is one of the many emotions which is completely uncontrolled when one is a kid/child
e.g lack of patience when hungry, wanting to snatch something from another if one liked it and did not have personally,revengig immediately if disliked an attitude, least forgiving, etc
as one grows up, one learns to control all these attitudes
the more we r able to do so, the more maturity it reflects
otherwise, inside we may b still in a learning phase to achieve this control in a higher degree

however we must at the same time protect some childhood values i.e. love, our innocense, forgetting enemity after a while and befriending quickly again, being happy and content even with small gains, etc

my personal opinion though

open to comments

(bas. u too. where hv u disappered starting the topic)

peace


.
xxbasxx

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Tuesday, October 28, 2003  -  8:16 PM Reply with quote
hey, all these ppl telin me all these advices. i dunno y i got mad in da first place!! thnx every 1!!

Bas!
hassan

INDIA
Posted - Wednesday, November 12, 2003  -  1:55 PM Reply with quote
DONT GIVE IMPORTANCE TO THIS WORLD AND THE WORLDLY THINGS.ALWAY'S THINK OF HEREAFTER. CONCENTRATE ON QURAN. THE ULTIMATE BOOK.

KASHMIR UNIVERSITY
saadiamalik

PAKISTAN
Posted - Friday, November 14, 2003  -  10:04 PM Reply with quote
Assalaamu Alaikum.

Thinking about the following may help as well.


Anger speaks of one's own
arrogance, in many ways. We have all been victims of such blasts, at one time or the other, and looking deep into "why" we felt enraged in the first place, reveals lack of patience and some degree of arrogance.

Do try and think about it. I hope this helps us all.

Allah Hafiz.

Saadia
hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Saturday, November 15, 2003  -  8:55 PM Reply with quote
peace
sometimes we know that the other person is really nice but u feel angry b/c that person keeps ignoring u
is this reflecting arrogance in us or that person



.
saadiamalik

PAKISTAN
Posted - Sunday, November 16, 2003  -  12:34 AM Reply with quote
Assalaamu Alaikum.

First of all, I would like to add a disclaimer to my previous posting in this forum. Arrogance is one of the possibilities.

Secondly, coming to your valid concern, here is how I would look at the situation. I would try to convince myself that the "ignoring tactics" of the other person are merely my suspicions. But despite all such efforts, if my conscience finds itself convinced otherwise, I would truly be honest and upright in addressing the other person by telling him/her what I think has been going on. God willing, things may improve, and if they apparently don't, then only Allah knows what is best for us.

Also, whether or not I go upto the person with my suspicions, I would do myself a great deal of good by being patient and mindfully neglecting his/her misgivings, rather than returning arrogance with arrogance i.e. anger.

I do understand how nerve-wrecking such reception can be. May Allah help us all.

Allah Hafiz.

Saadia




quote:

peace
sometimes we know that the other person is really nice but u feel angry b/c that person keeps ignoring u
is this reflecting arrogance in us or that person

hkhan

UNITED KINGDOM
Posted - Sunday, November 16, 2003  -  1:21 AM Reply with quote
thank u sr/jazakillah

.

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