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Topic initiated on Wednesday, November 24, 2010  -  12:17 PM Reply with quote
A page out of my school notebook.=) plz comment.

The Hazards of Halting Strangers...
It was a fine, young morning. Officer Hartley lazily raised his bulk of of his bed and sleepily looked around. To his immense relief he found that he wasn’t at all stuck in a smelly sty. Grinning stupidly, he got up and made his way towards the washroom, humming out of tune. He looked at himself in the mirror and said “Am I not the fairest in the land?”After 10 seconds of vague-dreaming, he suddenly turned red, when he realized that the word ‘fairest’ had been used by Snow White’s stepmother, and as far as he knew, he was a self-disciplined male. Clearing his throat importantly, he turned the tap, only to find himself dripping with water a minute later. “Ugh! Preposterous plumbers! Never do their darn jobs properly!” Having cursed the poor plumbers to his heart’s content, he changed into his freshly pressed uniform and headed out of the house, ready to stop the public from breaking laws. He had only gotten out when he saw a crazed driver whoosh past on his old blue truck, jabbering on his mobile phone.“Heavens above! What a busy day this is turning out to be!” grumbled Hartley, grabbing his motorcycle and attempting to catch up with the blue truck.

“Stop! You hear me sir? HALT!” his anguished yell rent the air like the noise of an extremely annoying child wailing for ice-cream. The driver seemed to have noticed the disturbance, as he started to abandon his break-neck speed. Finally, having stopped completely, he leaned out and examined Officer Hartley who was wiping his face, which was sweating profusely because of all the unexpected action.

“Aye! I heard ya yelling like a mad man on the other street. Have ye been whipped to have uttered such a blood-curdling yawp?” In his innocent interest in the shouting police-constable, the farmer seemed to have overlooked Hartley’s look of pure disgust and anger. “A-HEM! Of-course I have not been whipped! Why would a man of my character ever be whipped?” was the angry retort.
“Aw shucks! I dint understand a word of yer fancy words pardner. Anyways, what seems to be the problem ‘fficer...” he peered at Hartley’s badge, “… Hard’ley?” “Oh for heaven’s sake, it’s Hartley! Now, the unexplained problem, as you seem to see it, is that you were over speeding along with talking on your mobile phone while driving, showing utter disregard for traffic regulations!”
“Gawrsh! You know loadsa words! Now from what I pieced together, you angry at me for talking on ma phone, and sticking the paddle to the floor” babbled the farmer, looking extremely dumb.
“For an illiterate person, you appear to catch on well!” replied the Constable irritably.

“Aww!! That’s real sweet of you!” mumbled the farmer, blushing. “Enough of this! You…” Officer Hartley started to say, but was yet again stopped from doing so. “Ooh! Wait a baby-hatchling minute! I was lovin’ yer talk so much that I forgot to hang up on my phone!” was the excited farmer’s words.
“…oh sheesh! Sure I got the chicks! Not to mention, I got the cow’s food too! … Uh huh! Just you wait… you’ll soon see! Dokey Okey! Bye!” listening to this farm talk was driving Hartley up the wall. “This is utterly disgraceful! Sir! Please be as kind as to give me the speeding fine and leave… immediately!” losing patience, the angry officer yelled. “Hold yer horses! Hold ‘em tight! Tell me the problem, Fatty!”
And that was Officer Hartley’s cue:
“HOW DARE YOU!! You.. You.. Farm Fool! I will have you locked up for 2 years if you keep up this nonsense of yours! The fine... if you please!” “ GAWRSH!! Here, take the cursed money, and leave me alone! WAA!!! MOMMY!!!” The poor farmer started sobbing pathetically. Alarmed by this surprising behavior, Hartley quickly changed his tone to a caring one and said “Oh my! Calm down, sir! Please get home and have a lie-in. I don’t think you’re right in the head at the moment!”
And that was the bright farmer’s cue; wiping his nose noisily, he mumbled thanks and headed down the road, leaving Officer Hartley coughing in a cloud of dust. Immediately dropping his pretend-sniffling, he said to himself “Ha ha! And that is how you get rid of ‘em darn Perlease officers! HEH!”
And need more be said?

Posted - Monday, August 15, 2011  -  5:23 PM Reply with quote

Posted - Sunday, September 4, 2011  -  10:24 AM Reply with quote
Jazakallah. (:

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