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Topic initiated on Tuesday, March 8, 2011  -  12:02 PM Reply with quote
Group Discussion Please!!!

Salam everyone! :)
hope everyone is doing good, and all the exams or tests or projects or assignments (etc) are going great! :)
Ok, so... i have no idea whether anyone of you is suffering from the same problem as me - but if u are (or arent) please join in the conversation and give me some ideas on what to do.
Pakistan is theoritically a Muslim country, right? But is everything thats happening here Muslim? The BIGGEST example I can present u with is my school.
Everyday i walk in the school gates, dreading what i'll see that day. You see, suddenly everyone is obsessed with everything... weird. Everyother person you meet in the hallway, has a boyfriend/girlfriend. Everyother person you meet in the corridor is going on about how much fun they had on their date! Everyother person IN MY CLASS is going on and on about their... (you guessed it!) bfs/gfs!
And the worst part of it is, the people going on in my class - are two of my best friends!!! Now our friendship is on tenterhooks, i'm super weirded out and completely clueless as to what to do! Apparently, people dont really care whether what they're doing is right or wrong - it's all about having F-U-N, or as they call it in our school "tafreeh". i have accepted the fact that it's their life and they can do whatevr... but what do you do when they stop hanging out with you? what if they change? should you look for new friends? or bear with it... ?

Posted - Thursday, March 10, 2011  -  5:53 AM Reply with quote
Don't bother about others. Neither they are answerable to you nor you are answerable to them. Do, what you are directed by your Allah. One can look for new friends any time. Will it not be much better to persuade your old friends to mend their life styles - as guided by Islam.

Posted - Thursday, March 10, 2011  -  2:08 PM Reply with quote
Dear zoya, it is imperative that you learn never to judge people on your standards of good or bad. Just always keep an open mind, listen to other people, to what they have to say. Not only does it give you a broader perspective on life but you also get to learn a lot. I strongly believe that you should not let such things affect your friendship with some body. If you think something is wrong, good for you, your rules do not apply to everybody. Even if you think what they're doing is morally incorrect, you should at best just advise them. Cutting off your ties with them is the worst thing you can do to them, especially if they're in need of moral help.
I repeat, it is essential that you keep an open mind to such stuff and do not narrow down your horizons too much.

-This is me ibrahim btw, my username is what it is for some unkown reason :p. I have logged in after 7 years!! :-)

Posted - Thursday, March 10, 2011  -  4:28 PM Reply with quote
Quite a few are suffering or are plagued with the same dilemma, so what is the solution? I agree with taqi01 you should not leave your friends only for this reason. If they are in any way trying to influence you to compromise your values then maybe distancing yourself from them would be a good idea. What usually happens in this situation is that one day you will be asked to give a cover story for your friends that is lie to their parents this is where the divide comes, this is where you will have to make a decision do you want to lie to keep your friendship intact or say goodbye? It is not an easy situation and a very difficult thing to say no to a good friend.
The other part of your post is …… why? Why do your friends do this? The answer is to go out with a boy is COOL and a sign of maturity. Pakistan is a closed society not many parents appreciate their daughters and sons to have friends of the opposite sex. I feel if more parents are open to the idea of a group of friends meeting each other in a safe and controlled environment then less will be the urge to be only boyfriend and girlfriend. Activities like going to a movie in a group and under supervision or getting together at one friend’s house helps to have a social life but learning to interact in an acceptable fashion. The problem is most parents have no clue how to handle teenagers, a big NO to all requests is the only solution they have. Xoya if your friends are going out without their parent’s consent then 50% is their fault and 50% is their parents. I will let you figure out why I think it is the Parent’s fault too.

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