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Reflections |
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In the Name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Ever
Merciful |
Can you do it
for me..?? (Family Unit~the Divine Will!)’
The other day I saw a
lady at my Clinic and besides her illness she also complained that because
her husband is busy with work and also with another woman who he says is
'his 1st love' of the past, who he cannot leave so she is very depressed and
sad because his absence from home & disinterest in family is not only
affecting her health but also her young children are suffering.
She was brought here from Pakistan after being married to, has got children
now but Mr.. hubby who lived here has disclosed many facts since. The mother
and sisters in law support the husband and tell her to just look after
children and home and stop interfering in the husband's private matters.
Secondly he has financial issues as well coz he has to support her and
children and also parents and off and on 'the 1st love' as well with whom he
has physical relationship but has not married her yet, however he may as he
says.
This is not a new story. We keep coming across lots of these from many of
our Pakistani ladies who have been married and brought over from Pakistan in
similar situations.
I suggested the lady also keeps herself busy by doing some job and earning
money ~make herself and children strong and then decide her own affairs but
she said that the husband is not letting her visa status changed to
resident, he says that would cost him money so she could rather stay in an
illegal status and hence unable to take any job, (although she has some
education to earn a job for herself). the good point in her story was that
the husband did not mind handing her passport and she could get it done
herself if she wished to.
So I gave her some links for help, our local Pakistan Welfare centres and
also some other suggestions how to take a temporary job in order to collect
some money for the immigration work and so on.
I suggest to all our sisters to educate themselves more and more both in the
subjects of 'deen and dunya' ; depending on the financial status of the
house try and earn some money and keep themselves busy as well as strong. To
explain to husbands gently where they were going wrong spoiling their own
fortune, but if they did not seem to be bothered , just continue to
strengthen their own relationship with God and keep themselves busy in
positive activities including the care of their children~ so finally they
are able to make decisions in order to live a better life.
In an ideal world, it would be best if the husbands take a heed and change
their ways, agree to sacrifice their interests in favour of the family and
cooperate with the wives to make the unit strong. But if not, the wife will
have to do this job herself. Allah has put her in this test and if she
remains strong and patient, He will bring her out of this, slowly but
surely!
Sometimes we are lucky to get a chance to speak to the spouse. The lady was
clever, as her husband called her to pick her up, she invited him to see the
doctor while she would look after the kids outside.
Although she was my last patient and I really had to go because I had a
commitment with children, but did not wish to loose this opportunity." It
wouldn't take more than another few minutes I suppose, just talking to him.
Who knows if it helps saving a family unit~the back bone of the society we
wish to make better.." I thought looking at the innocent but tired and sad
face of this young sister of mine and smiled at her." Ok send him in." The
radiance of hope on her beautiful face surrounded by a scarf made me feel
that my decision to stay back was right.
I spoke to Amar (name changed due to confidentiality) for about 15 mins and
was glad to see that he was an intelligent and receptive young British-Pk
lad as most of our young brothers are. It's just that they need a bit of
guidance & direction with the help of not only worldly, but also of a
religious and spiritual input. We talked about the concept of Sacrifice in
Islam as taught by our Grand Prophet Ibrahim sws and as is followed by all
the prophets. What it actually means for us when we celebrate Eid ul Adha
every year and how is he now being tested whether he could make a sacrifice
to save his family in order to seek the pleasure of His Creator.
I am hopeful that with faith based education of the couples, our sisters can
have a better future insh'Allah and our families can see better days than
those of misery and loss.
Summary: The issues around family unit and it's survival are not limited to
the Western communities only. Our Asian community is also not safe from the
clutches of ignorance leading to selfishness & breakups. The solution lies
in their guidance and education based on faith, at every level~insh'Allah
Author:
Dr. Henna Khan
URL:
http://www.studying-islam.org/articletext.aspx?id=1204
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In this
Issue |
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Reflections
* 'Can you do it for
me..? (Family unit the
Divine Will!)'
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Read & Reflect
* Some Popular
Misconceptions of
the Muslims
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Debate & Discuss * Discussion Forum:
Understanding the
Sunnah
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Express & Explain
*
General Discussion
Forum: Upbringing
of Children
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Read and Reflect |
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Women Travelling with a Mahram
Author: Javed
Ahmad Ghamidi
Tr. by Shehzad Saleem
The Prophet (sws)
is reported to have forbidden women from travelling without a
mahram and has said that they are not allowed to travel alone.
The period of this journey is mentioned in some narratives to
be one, in some others to be two and still others to be three
days and nights respectively. This prohibition, it needs to be
appreciated, is not an absolute one. It is a precautionary
prohibition meant to protect a person from harm. Its
addressees are also the individuals of a society in their
personal capacity, and is not addressed to state authorities.
Moreover, it is evident that such directives relate to
circumstances. Keeping in view the importance of a lady’s
chastity and modesty in Islam, it was essential that they be
stopped from travelling alone because of the circumstances
which prevailed in Arabia in the times of the Prophet (sws).
People in those times used to travel on foot or on horses and
camels. Destinations which today can be reached in hours were
accessed in those days in weeks and at times in months.
Passengers would travel alone or in caravans and sometimes
would even have to encounter forests and deserts on their way.
At night time, they would have to spend the night under the
open sky with other members of the caravan or in rest-houses
of unknown cities. If in these circumstances, women were asked
to travel with a mahram in order to protect them and to guard
their reputation, every upright person can easily understand
the wisdom behind this directive.
The current times, on the other
hand, have revolutionized the means of transport. Distances which were covered
in months are now covered in hours. There are extra-ordinary arrangements to
protect people in buses, trains and aeroplanes. Great changes have also come
about in rest-houses and hotels. A hundred years ago, people were hesitant in
sending their sisters and daughters from one village to another. Today, however,
one is not even hesitant in sending them to Europe and America. The journey to
Makkah for the purpose of hajj too has become secure to the ultimate extent and
women can safely travel with their women of acquaintance to Arabia to offer the
rites of hajj. This great change in circumstances entails that this directive
should not relate to current forms of travel, and women be allowed to travel
alone or in groups in any way they can keeping in view their needs in case there
is no danger envisaged in this travelling. However, they must always keep in
consideration the fact that their honour must remain protected in all
circumstances, and they must not show any negligence in this regard while
leaving their houses. If they believe in God and His Prophet (sws), they should
not be indifferent in this matter.
(Translated from Maqāmāt by
Shehzad Saleem)
More at
URL :
http://www.monthly-renaissance.com/issue/content.aspx?id=1164
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Debate and Discuss: |
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Discussion Forum:
Understanding the Sunnah
If we accept that
Sunnah is transmitted through Tawatur and its transmission is independent of
Ahadith. Also Ahadith can not add to the corpus of religion. Now as I
understand Fiqh is derived from Quran and Ahadith. So the questions are:
1) If Ahadith are not source of Islam then what
is the status of Fiqh which is derived from Ahadith.
2) Fiqh makes certain things lawful or unlawful
for Muslims based on Qayas. Are we obliged to follow the fiqh?
3) Majority of the Muslims believe that Ahadith
are the primary source of Sunnah. Now if a Muslim state is formed and rulers
are from the majority. What will be method of forming the constitution? Will
they base it on Sunnah or Ahadith or Fiqh. And if its Fiqh which school or
sect will they follow? According to your opinion will this be a true Islamic
state if they follow the Ahadith strictly or any one of the sects?
Would like you to keep in mind the following two
things and also first resolve the issue what fiqh is. It will make it easier
for both of us to understand each other.
1. We believe that all the schools of thought
follow the basic contents of religion, the Qur'an and the Sunnah. Some differ
only in considering the individual reports as Sunnah. None of them has lost
the true source.
2. Ahadith are every important explanatory
source. They tell us the Prophetic wisdom and his understanding of the
religious directives and his uswah hasanah the way he discharged the religious
directives) and his life history.
Also please note that a Muslim state can
rightfully make laws based on social customs which have have no basis in
religion. The sources of religion and sources of Religious Knowledge in Islam
are different things.
Please comment. And explain what do you
understand by the Fiqh and the nature of difference between the four schools
for example.
1) Surely Ahadith
Cannot be THE LONE source for any Religious Matter. On the Other Hand they are
The MOST reliable Source for the "Uswa" of Pro. Muhammad (sws) & his Wisdom &
Seerah etc. & that's why Hadith is SO Important, So we Do NOT Degrade it.
The Prevailing Fiqhs give us light in many parts
of the Shariah of Islam that are based on Qur'an and Sunnah, and what they
have said on the basis of Ahadith, that is still very helpful for our
Knowledge as it always progresses on the basis of the work done in the past.
2) The things that has been declared lawful or
unlawful in The Fiqhs based on Qayas etc. are just the "Ijtihaad" (i.e.
opinion) of these great scholars but we are not obliged to follow any thing
other than Qur'an & Sunnah. But if one is satisfied with any opinion of these
great scholars (in a certain matter) should follow him, This means that one
can follow one Fiqh in a matter and can follow any other Fiqh in another
matter unless & untill he is doing this on the basis of some solid reasonign &
not doing so just because of his mere will/likeness etc.
3) Its only the majority of the current Muslims
who believe that the Ahadith are the primary source of Sunnah/Islam. The Fact
is that almost allL (more than 90%) Great scholars of the past (including Imam
Shafi) are of the Opinion that the Holy Quran and the "Khabar-e-Mutawatir
(i.e. the Sunnah)" are the only Primary sources of Islam & Hadith should
related to them & should be Accepted behind them as a secondary source but
then the Likes of Imam Shafi'i & Imam Ibn-e-Hazam have presented their own
opinion based on some other factors that hadith is Always Based on these two
primary sources & If there looks some contradiction then that is because of
our "Fehm (Understanding)" etc. So one may (or may not) accept their opinion
if he agrees (ot Does not agree) with their reasoning.
Please Note that All states of Muslims (eg. Pak.
SA, Iran, Iraq, Afghanistan ...) are "Muslim" states as Muslims are in
majority in them so the method of forming the constitution in them is very
simple. All matters shoud be discussed in The parliament & if there is
difference of opinion then the vote majority will be the rule (i.e in only
those cases where there is no direct/clear order present in Quran & Sunnah)
and surely the "ijtihaad of parliament" Will be based on Quran & Sunnah (The
direct sources) & it's obvious that they'll benefit too from the guidance
present in Ahadith or Fiqh of ALL schools/sects But People will be BOUND to
FOLLOW the rules Passed by the Parliament only.
But the people who do not agree the passed rules
will adopt the same procedure for trying to change that rule as they do now in
their daily.
I hope this will Help us in carrying on this
discussion ahead.
Thank you for the
detailed reply. Sorry for replying late as I am busy with office work. I would
like to point out my understanding:
1) By Fiqh I mean the laws. Or the methods to
form the laws. I think (i am not sure though) that all these Imams had
different approach. e.g. some gave more importance to Sunnah and others gave
more Importance to Ahadith.
2) I understand your opinion on the status and
meaning of Sunnah and Ahadith. And it seems very logical to me. (I believe in
applying logic to religion and MashaAllah our religion is complete in that
sense too)
3) Now my confusion is more related to certain
laws which are not found in Quran and Sunnah but we get them from Narration
which can have some doubt (even if its iota of doubt). E.g. lets take the
example of stonning by death. I know the logic behind this punishment and i
accept that. Also it has very strict conditions which are very unlikely to
exist for this punishment to be executed. Now i am not sure about it but if we
say that this law is know through ahadith. And Ahadith are not 100% reliable.
But according to fiqh based on ahadith this punishment is allowed. ( I feel
that punishments like these are allowed in Islam but not encouraged and it is
upto Qazi to decide depending on situation). But if extreme punishments like
these are only known by ahadith can these be established as law of the
country? Is there a chance that a Qazi giving such punishment may be going
beyond the allowed limits?
This was my original question.
Your answers are very nice and explaining. But
can you elaborate further on the last point. "Is there a chance that a Qazi
giving such punishment may be going beyond the allowed limits?"
Tariq Hashmi (Moderator)
As I tried to
explain in my earlier response national laws can be formed even on customs and
cultural values. The Ahadith when we have seen that do not go against the
Qru'an, the Sunnah, the established historical facts and common sense are also
extremely important explanatory source. They tell us the way the Prophet
understood and applied the religious directives. Therefore, the Muslim
scholarship has used them as a very important tool.
Punishment of rajam cannot be given merely on the
pretex that the ahdadith show that some of the people were punished this way.
The Qur'an in no unclear terms tells that the punishment of adultery is
flogging the criminal with a hundred lashes and cancelling his nikah with a
chaste partner and rejection of his testimony in future.
However, the Prophet did stone some people
according the Qur'anic directive regarding the punishment of those who create
nuisance in the land (fasaad fil ardh). These criminals were not stoned
because they were married but because they had started raping the innocent
women openly making a mockery of law and putting the society in danger.
This punishment has been mentioned in the Surah
Maidah of the Quran verse 4.
A Qazi has to see whether an accused merely
committed adultery forced by passion or his act is tantamount to creating
disorder in the society. He has to use his full knowledge and do all possible
investigation before sentencing the criminal. If he had done this honestly he
will not be crossing the limits.
see:
http://www.studying-islam.org/forum/topic.aspx?topicid=1798&lang=&forumid=14
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Express and Explain: |
General
Discussion Forum:
Upbringing of children
UmmBatul
This is my first post on this forum, but
raising my children to be true Muslims is my main concern these days.
I have two children, mashaAllah. My oldest is
a little less than four years old and my youngest is 8 months old,
mashaAllah.
Recently, I've been having some discipline
problems with my oldest, so I've been concentrating on discipline and
obedience with her--and it's helping in all areas, mashaAllah. At some
point, I decided that if I couldn't convince her to be obedient to her
parents, then it wouldn't be surprising if I couldn't convince her to be
obedient to Allah ta'ala and His messenger.
It's been a little over a month and
mashaAllah, my older daughter is now learning Qur'an as she should (she
knows Surah al-Fatiha, Surah al-Asr, Surah al-Ikhlas, and Surah an-Nas,
mashaAllah), she "prays" when I pray and enjoys it, mashaAllah, she says
dua after prayer and before sleeping, mashaAllah, and she greets people
with Salam, mashaAllah!
Alhamdulillah for everything!
I really had a lot of trouble with her
before, subhanAllah. Not so much with Islam (she's so young, mashaAllah!),
but with other behaviors...but with her behavioral changes, she seems to
want to learn more about the Deen as well, mashaAllah.
Fi aman Allah!
Katherine
hkhan (Moderator)
salam & welcome to our forums
sister
it's amazing how the younger generation has
been given the skill of following parents. no matter wat we ask them to
watch or read, their 2nd role model remains parents. we do hold a
tremendous responsibility in this matter. may Allah help us so with
perseverance. amen
hkhan (Moderator)
& the same rule applies to
teachers; being role models for their students
drhennataimoor
raising up
children definitely requires role models for .... even for me as a mum I
need what do guidance as to what to do , and in my subconscious my mum is
my role model ..... i wish i could be as patient and firm yet extremely
loving ..... i keep praying , hopefully someday i will be inshallah.
I remember how she used to discipline us
,made us stand behind the door for a couple of minutes , mum and dad
barely ever shouted , she was and still is so lucky she could control us
with her stern looks .
She never forced religion upon us , but she
inculcated the fear of Allah in our hearts at a very young age. All she
did was pray five times and i would often see her praying tahajjud and
crying in her prayers, which seemed so strange to me as a child ,she
didn't wear hijab then yet i never found her lying or backbiting,
I barely saw her complaining ever on any
thing . in times of trouble i found her saying 'when Allah wills' nearly
always and i used to think what does she mean by that , how can she keep
on waiting and waiting when this thing should happen ..... but over the
years i saw her patience always rewarded her and now with a more mature
mind i can only look back to her with respect.
When I first started trying to learn about
and try to practice Islam as I learnt from an Islamic circle in medical
school, she was my first support , with little things and big ones.
Alhamdulilah she gave us a strong foundation
, and let us decide , so now if I pray its my own relation with Allah ,
not fear of making my parents cross.
I keep trying for my children and pray loads
too , though I am not as good as her yet
I've put my faith in Allah He will not let my
miniscule efforts and loads of prayers go in waste. Inshallah.
And we can all pray for our children and all
Muslim children and all mums working hard on them.
For All mums May Allah grant us success in
this field.
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Pause
and Ponder: |
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Does
a True Islamic Society Exist?
Posted on: Sunday,
June 30, 2009 - Hits: 3
Question:
Is there any state
in the world which is a true Muslim state, following only the Laws of Islam? If
yes, please mention the name. If no, then how can we tell non-Muslims what our
society, culture and laws are and where they can be witnessed?
Answer:
Your question
suggests that Islamic invitation to non-believers assumes an ideal Islamic State
to convince its addressees. The truth is that although a good Islamic
environment is always helpful in convincing many people, it is not an essential
precondition for delivering the message. Islamic message is first and foremost
based on its beliefs. There are fundamental questions about life which every
human being no matter wherever he/she lives wants to get answers to. The Islamic
message addresses those questions more than anything else. However, we do need
to have certain norms which are to be followed if the basic presentation of
Islam is accepted. Some of those norms are applicable to our individual life and
some to our collective life. A non-Muslim is certainly more likely to be
attracted towards the Islamic message if there are good examples around, both
individual as well as collective. However, the message itself is not dependant
upon these examples for its authentication. However, given the fact that we know
that God Almighty would take into account the circumstances of an individual
while deciding about his/her fate in the Hereafter, in case of those who
received the message of Islam in an environment where no good examples were
available, He is likely to treat such cases more leniently.
wassalam
Dr Khalid Zaheer
see:
http://www.studying-islam.org/querytext.aspx?id=833
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