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UmmBatul
USA
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 Posted - Thursday, June 18, 2009 - 6:31 AM 
Assalamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh,
This is my first post on this forum, but raising my children to be true Muslims is my main concern these days.
I have two children, mashaAllah. My oldest is a little less than four years old and my youngest is 8 months old, mashaAllah.
Recently, I've been having some discipline problems with my oldest, so I've been concentrating on discipline and obedience with her--and it's helping in all areas, mashaAllah. At some point, I decided that if I couldn't convince her to be obedient to her parents, then it wouldn't be surprising if I couldn't convince her to be obedient to Allah ta'ala and His messanger.
It's been a little over a month and mashaAllah, my older daughter is now learning Qur'an as she should (she knows Surah al-Fatiha, Surah al-Asr, Surah al-Ikhlas, and Surah an-Nas, mashaAllah), she "prays" when I pray and enjoys it, mashaAllah, she says dua after prayer and before sleeping, mashaAllah, and she greets people with Salam, mashaAllah!
Alhamdulillah for everything!
I really had a lot of trouble with her before, subhanAllah. Not so much with Islam (she's so young, mashaAllah!), but with other behaviors...but with her behavioral changes, she seems to want to learn more about the Deen as well, mashaAllah.
Fi aman Allah!
Katherine |
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hkhan
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Friday, June 19, 2009 - 5:15 AM
salam & welcome to our forums sister 
it's amazing how the younger generation has been given the skill of following parents. no matter wat we ask them to watch or read, their 2st role model remains parents. we do hold a tremendous responsibility in this matter. may Allah help us so with perseverence.amen |
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hkhan
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Friday, June 19, 2009 - 8:44 AM
& the same rule applies to teachers  ;being role models for their students |
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drhennataimoor
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Monday, June 22, 2009 - 10:56 PM
raising up children definitely requires role models for .... even for me as a mum i neeo whatd guidance as to what to do , and in my subconscious my mum is my role model ..... i wish i could be as patient and firm yet extremely loving ..... i keep praying , hopefully someday i will be inshallah.
I remember how she used to discipline us ,made us stand behind the door for a couple of minutes , mum and dad barely ever shouted , she was and still is so lucky she could control us with her stern looks .
She never forced religion upon us , but she inculcated the fear of Allah in our hearts at a very young age.All she did was pray five times and i would often see her praying tahajjud and crying in her prayers , which seemed so strange to me as a child ,she didnt wear hijab then yet i never found her lying or backbiting ,
I barely saw her complaining ever on any thing . in times of trouble i found her saying 'when Allah wills' nearly always and i used to think what does she mean by that , how can she keep on waiting and waiting when this thing should happen ..... but over the years i saw her patience always rewarded her and now with a more mature mind i can only look back to her with respect.
When i first started trying to learn about and try to practise Islam as i learnt from an islamic circle in medical school, she was my first support , with little things and big ones.
Alhamdulilah she gave us a strong foundation , and let us decide , so now if i pray its my own realtion with Allah , not fear of making my parents cross.
I keep trying for my children and pray loads too , though I am not as good as her yet
Ive put my faith in Allah He will not let my miniscule efforts and loads of prayers go in waste.Inshallah.
And we can all pray for our children and all muslim children and all mums working hard on them.
For All mums May Allah grant us success in this field. |
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hkhan
UNITED KINGDOM
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 Posted - Saturday, November 14, 2009 - 10:09 PM
| I was talking to some Muslim mums about the interfaith week in UK and to my surprize some mothers still think that letting their children to events like this can confuse their minds? I suppose it can happen if we do not discuss about religion, faiths and beliefs with them even otherwise in our day to day discussions. |
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sista_amina
NEW ZEALAND
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Posted - Sunday, January 3, 2010 - 12:15 AM
Assalamo alaikum---to all my friends who are bringing up young kids;(and to those who may have grandchildren soon!)
I only wish I had this clarity of vision when my kids were at this stage; as mums we all want them to be good practicing muslims, which implies that they would have the best of character along with their knowledge and ability to perform the rituals of worship..I am grateful to Allah for what He has blessed me with, but I can now see my own shortcomings in the process of bringing them up and I want to share them with you all. We all go through our own own 'struggles' and the practicalities of this life, trying our best to balance things... my heart goes out to those who are working and despite their careers , are aware that end of the day, this is an 'added' resposibility that they have taken upon themselves, and their main role as a woman, as a mother , as a wife takes priority over everything else.
I do feel that in the process, we tend to 'jump' certain vital steps; we forget that in order for us to able to influence them, we ourselves need to be at a level that befitts our role as teachers; we do not try to teach our children mathematics ,chemistry and other subjects that we have almost forgotton, but when it comes to relegion, we do not seem to be fussed at all--whatever 'remnants' of information we have from our childhood---we simply pass it on, regardless of it's authenticity. We have certain set goals in our mind while living in the west,; if our child prays and fasts, keeps away from the girlfriend boyfriend stuff, (AND agrees to an arranged marriage)--we are done!
These are ofcourse important things that I am not trying to undermine---what I do want to say is that it does'nt work that way.
We are missing out on the very crucial step of educating 'ourselves' and ACTING upon that knowledge--before we think we can shape the character of our future generation; we have to realize that their childhood and growing years are not like our's---so they will not 'automatically' pick up certain things that we did; rather we are sending them to an environment quite contrary to what we try to preach to them--so unless they are convinced in their hearts that what you uphold is the absolute truth, they are not likely to follow it.
I want a feedback from you all--I know you are all very busy, but you do care about your kids--I am forwarding this nice article from 'shareislam' series that I thought you might find useful-- but I want to start something intractive around the concept of 'worship' in our religion for our own benefit , that will inshallh reflect in the lives of our children as well.I am sure we all can spare a few minutes every other day for ourselves, whilst the rest of the struggle takes up most of our time...inshallah it will give us a better vision of our real life and put things in their perspective.
love,
As-Salamu Alaykum (peace be upon you),
The Role of Parents in Their Children's Lives
By Maria Khani
Play
Quoting a saying of Imam Ali where he says children should be played with until the age of seven, after which they are disciplined for a further seven years, and then befriended for the next seven years,
For example, prayer times should be a time of great joy for young children, not something that is rushed. Parents can tickle and play on the prayer mat and display affection before starting, so that children have a positive association with this important ritual.
Love
- Parents can nurture love within the home and love for Allah and His Prophet through gentleness and warmth.
- Pick up the Quran, take your child in your arms and read together. Ask him or her to point out words they know or that you want them to learn.
- Move beyond memorization alone, and capture your child's imagination by telling them the stories that would make a typical fairy tale pale in comparison.
- Flying creatures? Al-Buraq.
- Miraculous objects? A Pen, which wrote about everything that would happen.
- Look for topics that would engage children - study the animals in the Quran and work on crafts that relate back.
- Make the Adhan a fixture in your home.
Encouragement & Support
Respect is key to the success of any family, and translates to communities where children are heard and are encouraged to participate. This starts at home. Parents should make time for their children - why do teachers often know more about our own children than we do? If that's the case, more time with your child is in order.
Respect your child's needs. No one likes to get up in the morning and immediately head to work, for example. Give children at least one hour and a half before they have to leave the house, or start an activity. How best to wake them up? Massage them, kiss them - make waking up a bonding activity that everyone looks forward to. Make sure children are well fed before starting the day.
Teach Generosity
Encourage children to share with others. Only buy them what they need, not what they want. Let them give of their time and their effort, and they will soon prefer to give, rather than receive.
Muslim Versus Mainstream
Make Eid an awesome party.
Talk about the point of celebrating achievements.
Teach about sensitive issues - like sex education - through references to the Quran and Sunnah (which a parent can slowly impart between grades 4 to 7). Other health topics from the Sirah include information on how to keep bodies clean.
For daughters, show the honor of Hijab, emphasizing its beauty as something a woman voluntarily does for the sake of Allah. Mothers should talk about how they feel about their Hijab, and share their own experiences with it.
Father's Role
Parents should consult each other on how to raise their children. In Surah Al Baqarah, Allah Talks about the decision to wean a child as one that both parents should make.
"...but if both desire weaning by mutual consent and counsel, there is no blame on them," [Noble Quran 2:233]
Nowadays, many fathers have given up this responsibility, but it is important for them to remain involved in the upbringing of their children.
Remember The Goal:
When Prophet Zachariah called on Allah to grant him a son, he wanted someone to carry on the Prophetic tradition. The aim of having a child was to raise someone up who would carry on the mantle of righteousness.
"And surely I fear my cousins after me, and my wife is barren, therefore grant me from Thyself an heir, Who should inherit me and inherit from the children of Ya'qub, and make him, my Lord, one in whom Thou art well pleased." [Noble Quran 19:5-6]
Remember, Prophet Noah lost his son because his son's actions had cut him off from his own father (which shows that ultimately, even the best parent cannot be sure of the outcomes.)
"[Allah] said: O Nuh! Surely he is not of your family; surely he is (the doer of) other than good deeds, therefore ask not of Me that of which you have no knowledge; surely I admonish you lest you may be of the ignorant." [Noble Quran 11:46]
Raise your children with love and kindness, and pray that Allah will save us all.
Khadejah Jones
Share Islam Team
ShareIslam.com
Attend online sisters classes in the comfort of your home.
Visit: IslamEvents.com for class schedules.
Watch various Islamic channels at WatchIslam.com.
There is no better time to start than today.
Mothers in Islam
What does Islam say about "mothers"? Read!
I would like more information: Ask a question in the chatroom |
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