| Author | Topic |
Abinzain
SAUDI ARABIA
|
 Posted - Monday, May 26, 2008 - 1:08 AM 
quote:
why did i study medicine when i cannot pursue it and serve humanity?
Surely your decision was wrong to study medicine. |
|
Mikai
UNITED KINGDOM
|
Posted - Monday, May 26, 2008 - 4:39 PM
Asa wb Dr. H. Taimoor
quote:
i know family andhome is my first priority to please Allah and i am happy too alhamduilah .... then i think why did i study medicine when i cannot pursue it and serve humanity ? what do u advise ?
salaam
henna
Asa, sorri i know you're addressing your question to a specific person but i just wanted to say you make a very important point that i'm sure many sisters face.
Firstly we need to ponder on the reason we are here, which is of course to worship Allah Swt and serve Him. If we want to serve humanity, then it should be for the sake of Allah Swt. So if that is why you are keen on pursuing your career as a doctor then I can sympathise with you.
But now you have children to consider and if you were to weigh your career against your children, the importance of bringing up your children most surely outweigh your career.
But why?
Because children are the future of Islam and therefore the future success of humanity. This is a great act of worship that gains much reward from Allah Swt.
So how does bringing up children serve humanity?
Who else can bring them up as well educated and well mannered children but the mother, who has been blessed with valuable time to spend with them while the father is at work. It’s not just about babysitting them, but setting tasks for them, challenging their minds, taking them places so that they can socialise with others, instilling their minds with how they should behave, making decisions etc, all in relation to Islamic principles.
By bringing them up as good Muslims (and remember by being a good Muslim entails numerous valuable skills) they will be valuable members of society i.e. humanity.
As you watch them grow and see them progress, it surely would be such a rewarding experience that would continue throughout your life as you are the one who has been guiding them and playing that important role model. If all mothers were to do that for their children, to think what a great Islamic community we would have by now.
Heh, so why did you study medicine? Difficult question to answer. Was there any point? Again a very difficult question to answer.
Looking from an Islamic perspective a female deciding to have a medical career may not be a wise decision to make especially if she plans on having a family life. As being a doctor is a very demanding job and the training for it never stops as there are always new things to learn along the way. To pursue such a demanding career and to take responsibility of your children is near to impossible. Maybe you made your decision on studying medicine without the awareness of your future role as a mother and how important that role would be in regards to the worship of Allah Swt.
As imporant as it is for women to get an education i think they are blinded into thinking they have to dedicate their lives in gaining a full time career like men. Men have no choice, their lives are dedicated to the world of business because Allah Swt gave them the role as the breadwinners. If they do not support their family to the best of their ability then they are of course committing a grave sin. Women also dont have a choice, as mothers, their lives are dedicated to their children, if they do not bring up their children to the best of their ability and pursue their careers, then they too would be committing a grave sin.
But I don’t want to dishearten you, I congratulate you that you gained a medical qualification, it shows that you are indeed a very intelligent young woman as well as a hard working one too.
My intention for sharing my views was to help you feel more relaxed and that being with your children is a greater act of worship.
Lastly i'm not saying a woman can't work at all. But with her God given role she should aim for careers that are flexible and can be done as part time and are not so demanding that it takes over family life. If women dedicate their lives to their careers then its only for personal gain and not for Allah Swt. I can't say the same for men unless they work extra hours at work that isn't necessary and wont benefit the family.
But since you have already become a doctor, for now since your children are young you can keep your self updated in the medical world and later in your future when you are less needed by your children go for a part time position. It's your choice in the end.
Heh, these are just my views!
Edited by: mikai on Monday, May 26, 2008 4:48 PM |
|
drhennataimoor
UNITED KINGDOM
|
Posted - Monday, May 26, 2008 - 9:53 PM
assalamoalikum
thanks a lot mikai , for ur time and such a wonderfully detailed answer , indicates your deep thoughts and sincerity of intention , i truly appreciate ur advice ,jazakallah khair
may Allah blessu and ur family always ameen
henna |
|
Mikai
UNITED KINGDOM
|
Posted - Tuesday, May 27, 2008 - 12:11 AM
Wsa wb Henna
quote:
assalamoalikum
thanks a lot mikai , for ur time and such a wonderfully detailed answer , indicates your deep thoughts and sincerity of intention , i truly appreciate ur advice ,jazakallah khair
may Allah blessu and ur family always ameen
henna
heh, i was surprised by how much i wrote after i posted it, sorri for that!
Anyway May Allah Swt bless you and your family too and help you make a decision that you will be happy with and benefit you as a Muslim inshallah.
I really hope you can have the opportunity in working in the medical field when the time is right. |
|
hkhan
UNITED KINGDOM
|
 Posted - Thursday, May 29, 2008 - 1:07 AM
quote:
assalamoalikum
just wanted to ask dr h khan tips on how to pursue my medical career once again when i life esp in uk is an isloated one , no help family near , no help with children ..... i know family andhome is my first priority to please Allah and i am happy too alhamduilah .... then i think why did i study medicine when i cannot pursue it and serve humanity ? what do u advise ?
salaam
henna
walaykum assalam h.t.
welcome back to our forum safter a while  M has replied already quite in detail and am sure its v helpful, sp. the tip re: flexible working which is an option in uk where you live.
just one thing i wanted to mention re:flexible working that it should not necessarily be limited to women, rather it can equally be an attractive option for men; sometimes they can earn enough in lesser hours and save some time for family 'n community interaction or similar welfare works. this option must be considered. money £,$ is not everything, neither can it buy all the luv 'n care we need in life 'n Hereafter 
h |
|
Mikai
UNITED KINGDOM
|
Posted - Thursday, May 29, 2008 - 11:21 AM
just one thing i wanted to mention re:flexible working that it should not necessarily be limited to women, rather it can equally be an attractive option for men; sometimes they can earn enough in lesser hours and save some time for family 'n community interaction or similar welfare works. this option must be considered. money £,$ is not everything, neither can it buy all the luv 'n care we need in life 'n Hereafter
I completely agree with you, the father is also an important role model to the children/family as well as the mother. There is no reason for him to work unecessary hours to make money that really is not needed. I don't see how working unecessary hours would be considered as an act of worship when there are many acts of worship one has to perform and could be doing instead of working more.
The father needs to be aware that he also plays a part in the future of humanity and therefore needs to play a valuable part in his children's lives (especially with sons) to bring them up as good Muslims.
So flexible working is a must if possible. |
|
hkhan
UNITED KINGDOM
|
 Posted - Thursday, July 24, 2008 - 11:59 AM
also one of the lead scholars of our websites dr khalid zaheer who is visiting uk and was invited to the living islam camp uk 08 said in his group discussion at the camp about 'upbringing of children' that parents must be clear in their minds what do they want from their children?
if they want to make a statue of their own desires which they possess from the traditions & cultures of their fore fathers, then, he said, he would rather leave the discussion as he had nothing to say about that.
however if they wanted to know the way to success for their children, then they will have to find that way for themselves first of all and start practicing from this day the Divine teachings in Qur'an & the beloved prophet's sws(peace be upon him) teachings in his practices. |
|
raushan
UNITED ARAB EMIRATES
|
Posted - Thursday, August 7, 2008 - 6:50 AM
|
Mikai
UNITED KINGDOM
|
Posted - Thursday, August 7, 2008 - 2:36 PM
quote:
Q & A: Raising kids in a sexualized society
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26040165/
I don't even know what to say to this. I personally wouldn't want a child to know anything about it. Looking at my childhood, i knew nothing about intimacy and Allhumdulillah my mind was left in a pure state. Any feelings i experienced for boys as a child came purely out of instinct and was natural, it was to do with being liked, becoming best friends, looking out for each other. This is how it should be.
Non Muslims need to wake up and get rid of the problem, not try and bypass it. I'm disgusted that thier solution is to simply tell their children about it. I would say ban the TV and Internet and give the children constructive things to do. For Muslims, teach the children about Allah Swt and to fear Him. Be a role model for the children and if you ever see anything dirty, make a face and look away in disgust. Heck that worked very well with me!
Children really do look upto their parents and the more you are involved in their lives the more they will learn from you and respect you. As Muslims we should teach our children how wrong the Non Muslim ways of thinking are and how it goes against Allah Swt. Once children learn of their identity as Muslims and look at Allah Swt and His religion with love and respect they will turn their heads away from the ones who do wrong. |
|
StudyingIslamUK
UNITED KINGDOM
|
Posted - Monday, October 13, 2008 - 7:06 AM
As salamu alaikum
Final few days remain to book your place on the Effective Parenting course with trained Psychiatrist and teacher, Dr Mamoun Mobayed on Sat 25 October 2008.
But hurry, places are running out. Contact 07939 934904 to reserve your place now.
Irshad |
|
mbellos
NIGERIA
|
Posted - Saturday, October 18, 2008 - 8:16 PM
| Assalamoeleikumwarahmatullah.Fathers should also attend these meetings. |
|
3009037822
SOUTH AFRICA
|
Posted - Tuesday, October 28, 2008 - 9:00 AM
salaams
i feel it necessary for new parents to be taught how to interact with young children be truthfull to them dont just think they are too small to understand.
to the sister who regrets studying i am also in the same boat i have the time and oppurtunity to study but my husband totally refuses for me to sit and write the exam, i can do assignment but not write exam.
we have to learn to make sabr Allah will reward us |
|
hkhan
UNITED KINGDOM
|
Posted - Wednesday, November 5, 2008 - 6:07 PM
welcome to SI forums 300
where there is a will there is a way. am sure you will be able to do some study and exams on net. let's start with our courses for which you wil recv certificates as well  |
|
hkhan
UNITED KINGDOM
|
Posted - Thursday, March 19, 2009 - 8:09 AM
some children grow up in families where guilt is used as a means of control. That is, the message (usually non-verbal) is communicated that if you do what I want you to do; behave the way I want you to behave; conform to my wishes; and for some, if you believe what I want you to believe, I will give you my love and approval. If the child doesn't conform, love and approval are withheld and the child is made to feel guilty. This kind of love is called conditional love, which isn't love at all. It's control. And tragically, false guilt is often used in religious circles to get adherents to conform to leaders' dictatorial control—and people who don't conform are made to feel guilty. This is false guilt.
In the faith and in our society guilt is a legal term. If we have disobeyed God or the law of the land, we are guilty whether we feel guilty or not. The appropriate emotional response for when we have done wrong in faith terms is godly sorrow. This is the way we rightly feel when we have sinned and done wrong. If we don't, we may have a dulled or dead conscience. However, at least in our Western society, we tend to think of guilt as an emotional response, so that's the way I will address it here.
With real guilt, when we confess our sin and wherever possible put wrongs right, we should no longer feel guilty. God forgives us and we are no longer under condemnation. If we still feel guilty, chances are it is false guilt and/or shame.
True guilt says you have done bad (or badly). False guilt makes you feel bad even when you are not guilty. And shame says you are bad; that is, a bad person. The latter two are both psychologically damaging and are conditioned or learned responses.
source: email |
|
Sue786
SOUTH AFRICA
|
Posted - Monday, May 11, 2009 - 3:16 PM
| I have a nine month old daughter and i forbid anyone from playing english music to her.Her favourite is moeenudin. and when she goes to bed i read her kalimas, surahs and aayatul kursi. |
|
hkhan
UNITED KINGDOM
|
Posted - Friday, June 12, 2009 - 8:54 AM
there are lots of nasheeds in english language now so children can hear moral values/teachings in the language they study other subjects in and it becomes a part of everyday routine.
i feel that if everything else they are doing , talking, playing is in english but for character building songs we avoid the language, they may grow in a dual sort of situation. wat do u think |
|
 Reply to Topic 
Printer Friendly |
| Jump To: |
|
|
|