| Author | Topic |
hkhan
UNITED KINGDOM
|
 Topic initiated on Wednesday, February 25, 2009 - 4:51 AM 
A Woman's brain is tied to her tongue....
(a friend has sent this advice. enjoy)
* A womans brain is tied to her tongue!!*
نحن نؤمن أن التوفيق بيد الله سبحانه وحدة وأن كل شيء مقدر ومكتوب .. ولكن هناك
أسباب يجب الأخذ بها مع التوكل على الله
We believe that success is in the hands of Allah SWT and that everything has been written and destined.. but there are actions that we must be doing whilst having Tawakul on Allah SWT
وهنا أذكر لكم ما قالته عجوز وهي سيدة حكيمة يحبها زوجها كثيراً حتى أنه كان
يحلو له أن ينشد لها أبيات الحب والغرام وكلما تقدماً في السن ازداد حبهما
وسعادتهما .. وعندما سألت تلك المرأة عن سر سعادتها الدائمة
And I shall mention to you what an old lady, that was very wise and greatly loved by her husband to a point where he loved to sing love poetry to her and as they grew old their love and happiness grew with them, said when she was asked about the secret to her enduring happiness.
قالت : الحصول على السعادة الزوجية بيد المرأة , فالمرأة تستطيع أن تجعل من
بيتها جنة وارفة الظلال أو جهنم مستعرة النيران .>
She Said: Attaining married life happiness is in the hands of the woman, for she can make her house a living heaven or turn it into burning hell.
لا تقولي المال .. فكثير من النساء الغنيات تعيسات وهرب منهن أزواجهن
Dont say money for alot of rich women are miserable and have been deserted by their husbands.
ولا تقولي الأولاد .. فهناك من النساء من أنجبن 10 صبيان وزوجها يهينها ولا
يحبها ويمكن أن يطلقها
And dont say children for there are alot of women with 10 boys, have
husbands insulting them, not loving them and will probably divorce them.
ولا تقولي طباخة .. لأن الكثير منهن ماهرات في الطبخ , فالواحدة منهن تطبخ طوال
النهار ومع ذلك تشكو سوء معاملة زوجها وقلة احترامه لها
And dont say cooking because alot of them are experts at cooking, the one of them cooks all day and yet complains about the maltreatment of and lack of respect by her husband.
* إذا ما هو السر ؟؟؟
So what is the secret?
* ماذا كنت تعملين عند حدوث المشاكل مع زوجك ؟؟؟
What did you do when problems ocured with your husband?
قالت : عندما يغضب ويثور زوجي – وقد كان عصبياً – كنت ألجأ إلى الصمت المطبق
بكل احترام .. إياك والصمت المصاحب لنظرة سخرية ولو بالعين لأن الرجل ذكي و
يفهمها
She said: When my husband gets angry and is in rage I used to resort to respectful silence, beware of silence whilst ridiculing him with your look for men are smart and get it.
* لم لا تخرجي من الغرفة ؟؟
Why dont you leave the room?
قالت : إياك أن تخرجي من الغرفة .. قد يظن أنك تهربين منه ولا تريدين سماعه ,
عليك بالصمت وموافقته على ما يقول . كنت انتظره حتى يهدأ ثم بعد ذلك أقول له
وبصوتٍ خافت : هل انتهيت؟ ثم أخرج لأنه سيتعب وبحاجة للراحة بعد الكلام والصراخ
.. أخرج من الغرفة لأكمل أعمالي المنزلية وشؤون أولادي وأحاول أن لا أتذكر غضبه
وحربه لي .. وسيظل هو بمفرده وقد أنهكته الحرب التي شنها علي
She said: Never leave the room, he will think you are running away and don’t want to listen to him, you must keep silent and agreeing to what he says. I would wait for him until he cools down and then I would tell him in a gentle voice: Are you done? Then I leave because he will get tired and needs to rest after the rage and shouting, I leave the room to complete my housework and my children chores and I try not to remember his anger and assault on me, he will remain by himself tired from the rage he has given me.
* ماذا تفعلين هل تلجئين إلى أسلوب المقاطعة فلا تكلمينه لمدة أيام أو أسبوع ؟
What do you then do, do you give him the silent treatment for a few days or a week?
قالت : لا .. إياك وإتباع أسلوب المقاطعة .. لأنها عادة سيئة وهي سلاح ذو حدين
عندما تقاطعين زوجك أسبوعاً قد يكون ذلك صعباً عليه في البداية ويحاول أن يكلمك
ولكن مع الأيام سوف يتعود على ذلك وإن قاطعته أسبوع قاطعك أسبوعين.
She said: No, never give the silent treatment, its a bad habbit and is a
double bladed sword, when you boycott him for a week it would be difficult on him in the beginning and he will try to speak to you but with time he will get used to it so that if you boycott him for a week he will boycott you for two.
عليك أن تعوديه على أنك الهواء الذي يستنشقه والماء الذي يشربه ولا يستغني عنه
.. كوني كالهواء الرقيق وإياك والريح الشديدة
You have to make him used to the fact that you are the air he breathes, the water which he drinks and cant live without, be like a gentle breeze and never like a strong wind.
* إذاً ماذا تفعلين بعد ذلك ؟؟
So what do you do afterwards?
بعد ساعتين أو أكثر .. أضع له كوباً من العصير أو فنجاناً من القهوة وأقول له
تفضل أشرب , لأنه فعلاً محتاج إليه وأكلمه بشكل عادي ... سيقوم بسؤالي هل أنتِ
غاضبة ؟؟ فأقول لا
After two hours or more, I give him a glass of juice or a cup of coffee and tell him please drink, for he is really in need for it and I talk to him
normaly, he will ask me: are you angry? and I say No.
فيبدأ بالاعتذار عن كلامه القاسي ويسمعني الكلام الجميل
He starts to apologize for his harsh talk and starts sweet talking me.
* وهل تصدقين اعتذاره وكلامه الجميل؟؟
And you believe his apology and sweet talk?
طبعاً ... لأني أثق بنفسي ولست غبية ...!!!
Ofcourse, because I trust myself and because I am not stupid.
هل تريدين مني تصديق كلامه وهو غاضب وتكذيبه وهو هادئ ؟؟؟
You want me to believe his talk whilst he is in rage and disbelieve it
whilst he is calm?
إن الإسلام لا يقر طلاق الغاضب ... وهو طلاق!! فكيف ما حصل معي أنا؟؟؟
Islam has not approved divorce whilst in rage , and thats divorce! so what about what happened to me?
* فقيل لها ... و كرامتك ؟؟
She was told: What about your dignity?
قالت : أي كرامة ؟
She said: What dignity?
كرامتك ألا تصدقي أي كلمة جارحة من إنسان غاضب
Your dignity is when you dont believe a harsh word from an angry person.
و أن تصدقي كلامه عندما يكون هادئاً
And to believe his talk when he is calm.
أسامحه فوراً لأني قد نسيت كل الشتائم وأدركت أهمية
.سماع الكلام المفيد
I forgive him immediately because I have forgotten all the foul language and realized the importance of hearing beneficial talk
وباختصار ومما سبق يمكن أن أقول :
سر السعادة الزوجية عقل المرأة ومربط تلك السعادة لسانها
And to summarize the above I can say:
The secret to a happy marriage is the woman's brain and that happiness's knot is her tongue. |
|
aboosait
INDIA
|
 Posted - Friday, February 27, 2009 - 10:25 AM 
quote:
(a friend has sent this advice. enjoy)
................... happiness's knot is her tongue.
Good quote but needs spell-check. |
|
shahidas
UNITED KINGDOM
|
Posted - Saturday, February 28, 2009 - 12:55 AM
very nice sister Henna, Jazakallah khair for sharing such nice qoute
( aurat ki hikmat amli say ghar abaad rehta hai )
in fact diplomacy and dealing with arguments through intellect will always bring rewards
May God bless us all with such good habits |
|
hkhan
UNITED KINGDOM
|
 Posted - Sunday, March 22, 2009 - 8:53 AM
thx shahida je;
although u cannot join us due to ur multiple commitments as i see, however ur writings are always a piece of wisdom for us |
|
tilawat
PAKISTAN
|
Posted - Tuesday, May 19, 2009 - 3:29 AM
| I doubt if the woman has any brain. |
|
hkhan
UNITED KINGDOM
|
 Posted - Tuesday, May 19, 2009 - 5:42 AM
hmm...which means u were given birth by a brainless creature  sad... wat a source to come from & expect to have brains  |
|
tilawat
PAKISTAN
|
Posted - Saturday, July 25, 2009 - 1:18 AM
@hkhan
But my mother is a part of my self, a unique thing indeed, though even Allah has generally speaking called the woman a 'Kheti' (tilth) in Quran. If a non-living kheti can give rise to a living crop why should not, generally speaking, a brainless creature give birth to a thinking human and even a prophet. |
|
shehzads
PAKISTAN
|
Posted - Saturday, July 25, 2009 - 1:39 PM
Tilawat you sound like a very thankless child of your parents, specially mother. استغفرللہ من ذالك You are comparing this great personality who has been compared to the Paradise to dust and ground instead.I feel sorry for the sad experiences you may have had as a child. we can only pray for your mental status and the poor lady who gave birth to you.
انا لللہ و انا اليہ راجعون
Whether it's a man or a woman, the tongue can do wonders by utilizing it in the right manner and destructions by it's misuse. |
|
raushan
UNITED ARAB EMIRATES
|
Posted - Saturday, July 25, 2009 - 2:37 PM
quote:
I doubt if the woman has any brain.
did you think before making this sweeping comment?
and what what abt men,do they have brain? |
|
tilawat
PAKISTAN
|
Posted - Saturday, July 25, 2009 - 10:16 PM
This brasinless reaction has evidently more than proved my point.
I had said that my mother is a part of my self and a unique being, not comparable to anything. But I don't deny the truth stated in the Quran about the women in general, that they are a tilth (kheti), liable to be used by men in whatever manner they like. Do you all deny this truth? |
|
raushan
UNITED ARAB EMIRATES
|
Posted - Sunday, July 26, 2009 - 8:12 AM
quote:
This brasinless reaction has evidently more than proved my point.
same here!
quote:
.. But I don't deny the truth stated in the Quran about the women in general, that they are a tilth (kheti), liable to be used by men in whatever manner they like. Do you all deny this truth?
this single statement shows how one can interpret quranic injunctions carelessly.
first it is not abt women in general but about wives,they are tilth only in a sense to grow up family(not by men but by husband)and not in whatever manner but the most decent manner (acceptable for wives as well).
there is a difference when we say"women"and "wives'
hope u agree.
take care |
|
tilawat
PAKISTAN
|
Posted - Monday, July 27, 2009 - 1:16 AM
@raushan
Excuse me dear, what a daring you are indulging in by putting your words in the mouth of God. Can you please quote the relevant verse here and see whether it is talking of wives or women in general though it makes little difference in either case to prove my point? |
|
raushan
UNITED ARAB EMIRATES
|
Posted - Monday, July 27, 2009 - 8:08 AM
|
tilawat
PAKISTAN
|
Posted - Tuesday, July 28, 2009 - 3:20 AM
@raushan
Thank you, dear, for your prompt response. But excuse me you indulged in another daring in translating the relevant verse. The verse says 'Nisaaoukum...' meaning your women, and not 'zawajokum', your wives. Pickthaal translates the verse 223/2 as under:
"Your women are a tilth for you (to cultivate) so go to your tilth as ye will..."
Btw, if you limit your cultivation to your wives only what about the slave women which your right hand might possess. |
|
hkhan
UNITED KINGDOM
|
 Posted - Tuesday, July 28, 2009 - 9:24 PM
| T;if u r still having physical relationship with your slave women, it applies to you otherwise it's clearly for wives because it's talking about a relationship which is expected within marriage only |
|
tilawat
PAKISTAN
|
Posted - Tuesday, July 28, 2009 - 11:39 PM
Excuse me, you have got personal. What if I have no wife even or I am a woman myself, do you think I should treat this Part of the Quran as irrelevant (Naouzbillah)?
Any how my question was put to raushan and not to you. I wanted to know why she/he translated 'nissa-e-kum' as 'your wives' instead of 'your women'. Let her/he reply to my query, please. |
|
 Reply to Topic 
Printer Friendly |
| Jump To: |
|
|
|