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saadiamalik
PAKISTAN
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 Topic initiated on Saturday, February 19, 2005 - 2:18 PM 
The Right to Beat Wives?
The Right to Beat Wives
The right given by the Qur’an to the husbands to physically punish their wives in certain circumstances is a thorny issue in the modern mind. The issue needs to be understood in its true perspective. The Qur’an says:
وَاللَّاتِي تَخَافُونَ نُشُوزَهُنَّ فَعِظُوهُنَّ وَاهْجُرُوهُنَّ فِي الْمَضَاجِعِ وَاضْرِبُوهُنَّ فَإِنْ أَطَعْنَكُمْ فَلَا تَبْغُوا عَلَيْهِنَّ سَبِيلًا إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلِيًّا كَبِيرًا (34:4)
And as for those from whom you fear rebellion, admonish them [first] and [next] refuse to share their beds and [even then if they do not listen] punish them. Then if they obey you, take no further action against them. Indeed, Allah is Exalted and Mighty. (4:34)
The following implications of this verse need to be understood in their proper perspective:
a. Firstly, this measure can only be resorted to when a wife starts to challenge the authority of the husband and threatens to disrupt the family set-up. It is in fact a last resort to protect the institution of family from breaking up. It must not be resorted to in anything less in severity than a rebellious attitude from the wife. This rebellious attitude is termed as ‘نُشُوز’ (Nushuz) by the Qur’an. It has not used the word ‘disobedience’. Any difference of opinion or altercation is not to be resolved by this procedure. Disagreements and disputes must be settled mutually. It is only when the wife stands up against the authority of her husband that this procedure be employed.
b. Before resorting to physical chastisement, the two previous stages mentioned by the Qur’an (4:34) must elapse. The husband should first of all admonish his wife and convince her to give up her defiant behavior. He should exercise all the patience he can muster to urge and beseech her to change her stance. If after repeated pleas and continuous admonition over a considerable span of time, the wife continues to persist in her rebellious attitude, he has the authority to go on to the second stage by avoiding marital contact with her. This detachment, it is clear, is a form of reproof, and a very strong appeal to the wife to correct herself. Again, this attitude should continue for a substantial period of time so that the point is driven home. It is highly unlikely that most wives would persist in their arrogance after these two initial stages. In all probability, patience, forbearance, and restraint would have conquered their hearts. However, even after this stage, if a wife refuses to accept the authority of her husband, the husband has the right to finally resort to gentle physical affliction.
c. If the husband is left with no alternative but to physically punish his wife, he must be very careful in this regard and must not wound or injure her. He should remember that this physical chastisement is similar to the one a mother gives to a rebellious son or the one a teacher gives to an unruly student. He must be aware that in case he misuses this authority in any way, he would be held responsible before the Almighty on the Day of Judgement. In this world also, his wife has the right to report his behavior to the authorities who can punish him for any misconduct in this regard.
Source: http://www.monthly-renaissance.com/Feb162y5.htm
Even if the above three conditions are applied, do you think it is allowed to beat wives as a last resort?
Edited by: saadiamalik on Saturday, February 19, 2005 2:29 PM |
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saadiamalik
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Monday, February 28, 2005 - 4:38 PM 
| No disagreements. Is everyone okay with everything the author adheres to? |
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Bhavittre
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Friday, April 22, 2005 - 2:34 AM
| can wife beat the husband. |
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xxbasxx
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Wednesday, April 27, 2005 - 11:07 PM
i think neither should resort to beating
both shud help eachother out wenever theyr about to make a mistake
but that kind of relationship shud never resort to violence
marraige is also about friendship
if all they both did was ever hit eachother then wat kinda relationship is tht?
plus violence leaves unhealed scars emotionally and mentally
it always weakens bonds in a way they cnt b fixed
islam wud defin8ly not alow sumthing like that to happen in such a highly rated relationship
did ya no that the biggest thing satan is proud of is bein able to cause fights between hubsand and wife?
islams all about family ppl!
the quote
Firstly, this measure can only be resorted to when a wife starts to challenge the authority of the husband and threatens to disrupt the family set-up.
also applies to the husbands
the wife can do the sme thing too
and alot of ppl take this the rong way
they think that the wife wanting to actually go out of the house to go with her friends or to the gym is disrupting hte family or watever
if a husband uses his authority negatively then thts totally rong-hes ment to give the wife as much freedom as islam would allow her
and the wife shud give the husband the same amount of freedom too
*will add quran verse/sunnah about this wen i find it**
arub
Edited by: xxbasxx on Wednesday, April 27, 2005 11:09 PM |
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xxbasxx
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Wednesday, April 27, 2005 - 11:18 PM
i know this sounds like im a modernist freak but look around! we're in the 21st century now, there's ways to put up with wives or husbands being insolent to each other...like, you could, i dont know, get councilling?? relationship councilling doesnt cost much but hitting your partner costs you a relationship...
to answer the question more specifically, yeah wife beating is allowed in Islam, but its not NEEDED. like, marrying a certain number of wives in Islam is ALLOWED but you dont HAVE to do it...and just because wife beating is allowed it doesnt mean you **husbands that is** can take advantage of this and then do it whenever you feel like it...thats not even violence, thats pure insanity
if you marry someone, you love them, and if ya love em, ya wont hit em.
Period.
Wassalam xx |
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Bhavittre
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Saturday, April 30, 2005 - 8:16 PM
you said……. the wife can do the sme thing too.
what an obsession released by the low intellectual mind is?
what is your support with quran and hadith. we are discussing islam not the revengeful attitude. |
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Raffia
UNITED KINGDOM
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Posted - Tuesday, May 24, 2005 - 5:26 PM
the question to ask is that even though Islam allows such an act, did the Prophet (saw) ever resort to violence?
I think you'll find the answer is no. When the Prophet (saw) had difficulties with his wives he (saw) separated from his wives for a period of 28 days (or so). At no point was violence used. And we know the Hadith 'the best amongst you are those who are best to their wives' the best example is that of the Prophet (saw). |
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ibrahim
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Wednesday, May 25, 2005 - 6:13 AM
I agree with you sister Raffia.
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Believe me It's NOT an EASY task to become the BEST before the People at HOME; wife, kids, Parents, Brothers & sisters. |
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Loveall
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Monday, May 30, 2005 - 8:40 PM
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.
QUOTE: The word ‘Daraba’ has at least 6 meanings in Arabic according to this web site. and are all used within the Quran:
In almost every language, different words at different places have the same meanings and the same word at different places have different meanings.
For example in Arabic and in Holy Quran, “Yaom-id-din”, “Yaom-al-akhir”, “Yaom-al- Qiamat” “Yaom-al- mahshar” etc have almost the same meanings and as you pointed out the word ‘Daraba’ in Holy Quran has different meanings at different places. There are many other such examples.
Following are the English examples:
1. He held the horse by the bridal but it BROKE away.
2. He BROKE in my wild horse.
3. The car BROKE down on the way.
4. The police BROKE in upon the robber.
5. The thief BROKE into his house last night.
6. He BROKE off his relations with his friend.
7. He BROKE open the box, as he had lost the key.
8. The cattle BROKE over the fence and entered the field.
9. The dacoits BROKE through the wall of the house.
10. The meeting BROKE up at midnight.
11. He BROKE with his friend for nothing.
12. Cholera BROKE out in the city last year.
In the above 12 examples the word BROKE has the different meanings. There are several other such examples.
For example, in Punjabi, a word with same pronunciation as that of the English word TONGUE has two entirely different meanings, “leg” and “To hang something to some place”
Regarding the conjecture, the people not knowing the languages may do but those who have their mother tongue may not do. So the people knowing the languages may help in the reserach.
By the way, there is a joke about the conjecture. One day a house officer of a hospital was asked, “what about CT of the patients” The patient immediately said, “I can not do CT”. The patient meant Whistling (in Urdu and Punjabi) by CT. CT scan is an abbreviation of Computerised Tomography Scan.
Accrding to me, whatever the meaning of ‘Daraba’ is the admonition must be the last resort for the both sides, regarding the verse 4: 34. |
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Loveall
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Tuesday, May 31, 2005 - 8:25 PM
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful.
QUOTE: (Courteous, kind, friendly, Caring) Admonition is and will always be the first step and Daraba the last step in this case. The Commands of ALLAH are Absolutely Perfect and Infinitely Wise, in our own best interests.
I have not translated the verse, to say the admonition as the last resort but what I meant was, the matter must be solved in the first step (admonition) otherwise surely there are three steps as you described i.e. friendly admonition, the refusal to share beds and finally “Daraba”. Not choosing the second and third option is perhaps same as if someone does not choose the option of divorce even commanded by God.
Edited by: Loveall on Tuesday, May 31, 2005 8:48 PM |
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Loveall
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Tuesday, June 7, 2005 - 9:02 PM
Waalikum Assalam,
Thank you Asim2,
My complete sentence is, “Not choosing the second and third option is perhaps same as if someone does not choose the option of divorce even commanded by God” INSTEAD OF “third option is perhaps same as if someone does not choose the option of divorce even commanded by God”
I used the word “PERHAPS same as” meaning that I was not sure. |
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proud_christian
USA
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Posted - Friday, July 29, 2005 - 9:24 AM
| u ppl r stupid...how can u hit ur wives or anyone else? |
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usmani790
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Saturday, July 30, 2005 - 8:25 AM
Qoute:u ppl r stupid...how can u hit ur wives or anyone else?
Knowing nothing about Religion Islam this can be looked some one stupid thing to do.First u must find out about the religion Islam then only it will be fair to pass such remarks.
God Bless You |
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Bhavittre
PAKISTAN
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Posted - Sunday, July 31, 2005 - 8:14 PM
to, proud_christian
you said……u ppl r stupid...how can u hit ur wives or anyone else?
I am unhappy to know that YOU ARE NOT MUSLIM but christian.
as said by usmani, be muslim first, then talk otherwise you have no right to crush the rights of muslim men and promote the cause or evil due to which the muslim women are beaten by their husbands. muslim women must thank allah as it is only beating not the live burrial or burning as in of the women.
I think you have much realized yours stupidities………… |
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Spooky
EGYPT
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Posted - Thursday, August 25, 2005 - 2:59 AM
| Causing pain to someone is not alwayes bad as long as such a pain may help bringing a greater good or prevent something that can be destructive . I believe some of us have chosen to bear the pain of a dentist for the better result they longed for. It's clear that in Islam, family is valued as the small unit which, together with other families make up the whole society . Therefore, anything which causes any shaking of family stability will in return damage the whole Muslim society in a destructive way. In order to maintain the stability of the Muslim family, Allah swt has given Man a bigger authority over the family than that of other family members. Man is suppose to understand that with such an authority comes responsibility and wisdom of how to use it. He is not suppose to act in dicatorship way when dealing with family issues but rather to consult his wife other members of the family, but such an authority is to be only used when the whole family in in a dispute where they have to make a choice on a matter that can result in a great damage to the family if not solved properly, In such a case the whole family is suppose to cooperate in solving the problem throough consulting and discussing and man should have no problem in following the opinion of his wife, son, or daughtur if it's better than his but there is no way of solving the problem if every member of the family choose to follow a different way in dealing with the issue out of stuborness which in a result may lead to a great division and damage to the whole family and this is when man may have to resort to use several methods in correcting the other side and helping for protecting the stability of family. |
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msyed
CANADA
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Posted - Friday, November 11, 2005 - 10:01 AM
Dear Friends - Salaam:
Learn Quran from Nataq-e-Quran. Our prophet Muhammad (Suwal Al-Lahoo Alay Hay Waa Aalyhee Wasalam) is the extreme example of practical Quranic Life. Find yourself his practice and try to practice it. You are no way better than him to do anything more than what he did.
If you really want to practice Islam and stick to Quran - love Rasool Allah and stick to his practices. Do not re-invent what is already done. Its Shytaan.
For Christians:
http://www.evilbible.com |
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